How to Lose 15 Pounds and 16 Inches in Three Weeks

We’ve all been tempted to try quick fix diets that promise big weight loss results in a short period of time. I’ve tried the Wild Rose detox, Sugar Busters diet, and South Beach diet. Add in Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig, and I can easily self-quality myself as a dieting expert. So, when I heard about yet another 3 week detox, of course I had to try it. ...Read more on iVillage Canada

new floors: the perks of poop.

Last month I blogged about a particular challenge we are working through with Max, which causes a lot of stress in our home. It's a subject that is tough for me, but I felt that it was important to write about it regardless.

What I didn't mention in that post was the super "ugly" cry I had one particular morning as a scrubbed feces out of Max's bedroom carpet. Something inside me broke. I could not start my day this way any more. Of course, it's all well and good for me to say that, but just because I don't want to do something doesn't change our reality. Scott and I made the decision to get laminate flooring put in so that at the very least, we could keep Max's room sanitary. The carpet upstairs was the original carpet that came with the home (25 years old) so it really was time to do something either way.

Lucky for us, there are some good financing options available.  The installers did the entire job (3 bedrooms and a hallway) in one day (a true miracle).  Of course, Max tested it fully the next morning by not only pooping on it, but upping the ante and peeing on the floor as well.  Nice.  The beauty of laminate is it can take one heck of a beating and is easy to clean.  Plus, I've been lobbying for new flooring for a while, so if the only perk of all this poop is that the house gets a much needed upgrade, than I can accept that.

dining room makeover 2.0

After being sick for two weeks, we are finally starting to feel better. I should put the stress on starting as we are all still coughing and Max and I are definitely feeling more bad than good. Aunt Jennifer arrived for a visit to discover our house in shambles. That's what happens when we're sick - everything falls apart.  The worst room was the dining room.  You may recall that I did a dining room makeover last summer.  Well, #diningroommakeover #fail.  The problem, as Jennifer explained it to me, is that I didn't set up a system (like the one she put in place when she reorganized my kitchen last year).  So, while cleaning up got rid of the crap, it didn't address the issue of me needing a place to put all my crap that was bound to accumulate.

Jennifer took some before pictures so we could bask in the after makeover glory:

The first thing Jennifer did was come up with a plan.  This way we wouldn't end up buying a whole bunch of stuff we don't need at the storage solutions store.

Like the organizing pro she is, she stuck to her plan: 

Then she went to town:

Cam wanted to make sure she didn't get rid of her sticker collection:

Check out this cool coat rack by umbra! Those hooks fold back when you aren't using them.

She made me get rid of all the crap in the corner (fair enough):

Now, we have a system:

Finally, TA DA!  Thank you Aunt Jenny!!  You always leave our home better than the way you found it! And yes, I know I am very, very lucky to have such a great friend.

how to be a cool mom (by making your kids a wall chalkboard).

A few weeks ago, I found out that Max adores writing on a chalkboard. This tool is used a lot in his ABA therapy. It was suggested that we get an easel for him to use at home. I'm all for providing Max with the tools he needs, but really? We have no room for yet another toy, easel or not. So what to do? 

Solution? 
Turn one of our walls into a magnetic chalkboard.

What? You didn't know you could do this? 
Yeah, me neither.  Here's how you do it.

Steps 1 & 2:

Note: I recommend selecting a contained space because then you can explain that it's only okay to use chalk on this area alone - not the entire house.

Step 3:

Steps 4, 5, and 6:

Note: I bought 2 cans of paint at Home Depot - one was a magnetic primer, the other was a chalkboard paint.  Since the area was so small, I applied it with a brush instead of a roller.

Step 7 (8 coats later!) :

Note: It's really, really hard to wait for 3 days before you can test it out, but after putting so much time into it, you really don't want to screw it up, so try to be patient!

Step 8:

Step 9:

Step 10:

Note: I added the border (bought at any decent office supply store) to help provide a visual separation between the chalkboard and the wall).  We'll see if this helps Max and Cameron keep their chalk where it's supposed to be!

Step 11:

Note: I got the kids dustless chalk.  It's a Crayola product.  I have only found white dustless chalk so far, but there is multi-coloured dustless chalk out there somewhere - I just have to track it down!

houston, we have a problem.

A few weeks ago I arrived home from work to find this:

Do you see the problem?  My neighbour painted her garage door.  And she painted it a different colour than mine.  As you can assume, with me being completely anal and all, having my garage door a different colour than my neighbour's really, really bothered me.  Let's look at it from a different angle:

I decided to sleep on it before overreacting.  I mean, it's only a garage door, right?

After sleeping on it, (and going outside to look at the doors again), I was still troubled.  I figured out that I had 5 possible options:

1. Leave my garage door as is and try to get used to the mismatched colours (unlikely).
2. Paint my neighbour's garage door back to white so it would match mine (preferable).
3. Paint both my neighbour's garage door and my garage door a completely different colour altogether (likely to cause problems and maybe she doesn't like bright purple as much as me).
4. Spray paint "YO WTF HOMEY?" on her garage door so that she would have to repaint it and ask her to paint mine while she's at it (Scott vetoed this).
5. Paint my garage door the same colour as my neighbour's garage door (the adult thing to do).

After much consideration, I decided that #5 was likely the option which would cause the least amount of conflict.  And, it's a nice colour that she picked, so you know, why go recreating the wheel?  I texted her to ask her if she had any paint left over.  Nada - but she would leave the empty can by my front door so I could go and buy the same colour (which I did).  I will point out that the fact that she only bought enough paint for her own garage door taught me something about my neighbour and that is that she would have been completely comfortable with our garage doors remaining mismatched forever more.  I'm not going to lie, I will never look at her the same way again.

The weather finally cooperated with me and this morning I painted my garage door, while Cam made chalk drawings on the driveway.  I feel much better now.  I hope if my neighbour decides to do anything drastic like, I don't know, repave her side of the driveway or something, she lets me know beforehand...and don't even get me started about Christmas lights.

Also, I think the neighbourhood dogs have been "helping" water my cedar globe bush and hostas.  Assholes.  Speaking of assholes, guess who didn't even notice that I painted the garage door?  Captain Oblivious, who drove up, walked inside, and only realized all the hard work I'd done when he read my blog.  Sheesh.

Before and After: Dining Room Makeover.

The problem, you see, is that our dining room (the room we eat all of our meals in, unless we are parked in front of the tv) is centrally located between our kitchen and family room. It is the place one immediately dumps things on upon coming through the front door. When the table is full, things cascade onto the sideboard. Also, we store toys in there. So, yeah, we're asking a lot of a room that is about 10 feet by 10 feet.

For entertainment purposes, I took the before pictures when the dining room looked just about as bad as I've ever seen it:Let's not miss the alternate angle - gotta see ALL the crap piled up EVERYWHERE:And of course, saving the best for last - the ancient crappy plastic blinds left by the previous owners that the kids have had their way with (note, the broken off parts are great for seeing who's at the front door at deciding whether or not to hide in the kitchen and pretend your not home...not that we've done that): The dining room makeover has been a work in progress for the last month or so. I actually started with the blinds, but the new chandelier is really the best part. Jennifer helped me pick it out when she was here for the birthdaypalooza weekend. She thought I needed something whimsical to cheer myself up in the morning. When I first showed it to Scott he hated it, but he hated all of the chandeliers I showed him. Once I figured out he just doesn't like chandeliers, I went ahead and got the one I liked the best (I mean, if he isn't going to like anything I buy, I might as well go with my first choice, right?).
I installed it all by my lonesome, because I'm not only a decent plumber, but I do some electrical work on the side (heh). Each of the strands of capiz shells was wrapped up in individual plastic packs, and they couldn't be opened until the shade was installed (or else they would have gotten all tangled up). It took a long ass time to unwrap all the strands. But the end result is stunning:
I cleaned up all the crap in the dining room, moved the toys OUT, and installed new blinds (Ikea) and sewed some new valances (made of inexpensive Ikea fabric):
Let's take another look at these wonderful blinds and valances that (in case you were wondering), I also installed all on my own:
While it is far from glamorous, it is much, much better. There are still some papers being stored where they shouldn't be, but whatever. One day I would like some new dining room furniture, that is maybe less that 50 years old and that the kids haven't kicked the crap out of. Until then, I'll be happy if we manage to keep this room tidy and the table clear. Unless there are flowers in the centre of it (ahem, hint hint Scott).

Mental Health Monday: For the Things You Can't Fix.

I am a big fan of controlling things. Or, the perception that I can control things. The problem with this, as you probably know, is that you can't really control the most important things in your life. I can't cure Max's Autism. I can't make people do what I want them to do (despite best efforts!). When I'm feeling out of whack, like my world is just a little more off kilter than I can handle, I look for something in my home I can "fix".

There have been Friday nights spent under assorted sinks in my home when I decided "enough is enough! all of these faucets must be replaced NOW!". There have been weekends of installing countless ceiling fans and light fixtures. I have taken vacation days to paint my house. And the modern electrical outlets and timed light switches I put in? You got it - my idea of a good time.

My target this time? The 20 year old toilet in the bathroom off our bedroom and the nasty linoleum:This toilet has been making an ominous leaking sound for months, and the hard water we have in the area has corroded the bowl to the point that there are rust coloured stains on it (very pleasing to the eye and great for guests who just think you are disgusting and never clean your toilet):Cam and I went toilet shopping and picked up some of those linoleum tiles with the sticky backs. I would have loved to do ceramic tile, but I have no idea how and wasn't about to delve into that right now. Out came the toilet and up came the linoleum. Except the linoleum was glued down "very" well, so that took some time to pull up (to quote the great Zaza Pachulia, "Nothing Easy!"):

Once I got the linoleum up, the new floor went down really easily. It looks so much better, and has me thinking I should put in new quarter round on the floor boards and repaint the entire bathroom (a happy colour...yellow maybe?):Now that I've replaced this toilet, all four of the toilets in our house are up-to-date. Funny how the fourth one was super easy to install (took about 15 minutes total). Back in the day, the first one took about 90 minutes! :

I'm heading out on a road trip tomorrow, by myself. I need a few days to rest, clear my head, and wander where the wind blows me. I'll probably blog about it...

Zombie Fridge.

It started out like any other day. I shuffled into the kitchen, got the coffee maker going, and reached into my fridge for the carton of cream. That's when I screamed from the sharp pain of teeth sinking into my tender flesh and felt myself being pulled into the veggie crisper with the force of a dozen sturdy gremlins (the kind that get wet after midnight, not the cute and cuddly ones with bug eyes). I gasped in terror and staggered backwards, clutching my hand to my chest, holding onto my oven door for support. The fridge door creaked shut, slowly, mocking me the entire time and most certainly daring me to attempt to retrieve the cream once more. Needless to say, I drank my coffee black.

After my 2nd cup of coffee, I realized I was acting like a child. I mean, there couldn't actually be something living in my fridge. For sure I had let it get slightly out of hand, what with the questionable items in Tupperware pushed to the back of the fridge. And the squishy produce intermingled with its fresher cousins. Ummm...certainly anyone foolish enough to dive into any product without carefully checking the expiry date is a fool and I cannot be blamed for food poisoning merely because the product originated in my fridge, right? Yes, the dirty secret is out - when I did my kitchen overhaul, that clearly did NOT include le frigidaire.

On second thought, maybe we had reached a crisis situation (I'm guessing it isn't normal to get bitten by perishable items that have taken on a life of their own?). I prepped a garbage can, put on some plastic gloves, and prayed to dog that I would live to tell this story. Interestingly enough, the creature who had attempted to dismember me earlier was nowhere to be found. In its absence, it had left an awful stench though. A warning perhaps? After emptying the fridge, I realized this was a bigger job than I had anticipated. It needed a full scrub down. It needed bleach. It needed prayer and redemption.

BEFORE:No fewer than 3 hours later, my fridge was returned to its happy, clean, cool, calm, collected, creature-free self. We're on speaking terms again. It is filled with fresh produce and there is no longer a terrible smell wafting from its depths. But I have been put on notice and given a strong recommendation to pick up some of those new fresh food Date Mates labels from the lovely ladies at Mabel's Labels. Who knew my fridge was in cahoots with them?

AFTER:

Before and After: Kitchen Makeover.

I used to be one of those super organized people. Having kids ruined that. I aspire to get back to my former neat and tidy self one day. Until then, I just do my best. Sometimes my best sucks, and I need an intervention. Hence my friend Jennifer stepping in and gently suggesting we take today and do a kitchen makeover. For the sake of full disclosure, I will say that the Before picture was taken after breakfast, and the dishwasher needed to be unloaded and reloaded, the counters wiped down...and I needed more coffee.
Jennifer was not kidding around. She set up 4 piles for me. Toss, Give Away, Keep, and Recycle. Cameron even got in on the action (though truth be told, she mostly just took objects from one basket and put them in the other ones). As Jennifer organized cupboards and tossed objects in the garbage, I cleaned and sorted. We strategized about how to keep the counters clear. Things we use a lot got permission to remain on the counter (coffee maker, toaster, bowl of snacks). Things we do not use on a daily basis were put away. We threw out two garbage bags worth of stuff. It was determined that I needed a paper towel holder I could mount on the wall, a smaller dish drying rack, and a way to mount the microwave cord under the counter.
With the three of us ladies hard at work, it actually wasn't all that painful. A little bit of elbow grease and encouragement, a quick trip to Storage Solutions and then a glass of wine to celebrate. It takes a really great friend to come into your home and clean your kitchen. We won't even go into the ten loads of laundry she did for me. Apparently tonight we are going to tackle my bedroom dresser!
As you can see, the After is incredible. I feel so much lighter on my feet now that I can see my kitchen counter. My head is clear and as I look around the rest of my house, I feel like I can move room by room and clear out the clutter. I may not be able to control much, but at least I can make my world a little more organized.