helping your child with autism make friends: matt & max.

This past week was a tough one. Max was sick with a wicked summer cold. His behaviour went sideways and he tested all of us with his whining, squealing and shrieking. I was fairly certain Matt was going to tell me he'd had enough and would be back once Max was back to his old self. But Matt stuck it out and once again blew me away with his maturity and patience.

Here is Matt's week 4 update: 
This week was a little bit more difficult than other weeks. Since Max was sick he had become more irritable and his way of conveying these feelings were by yelling more often and louder. This was hard for me because he also would start getting upset at things, and when I removed the thing that made him upset he got upset again. This was lose-lose situation. Other than that we went to the park for the first time together. He seems to have an infinite amount of energy when surrounded by climbable objects. So other than him not feeling well, it was still a successful week with Max.


Read more of Matt & Max's adventures

build your relationships with purpose.

Do you ever feel like you have too many "friends" on Facebook? Not remember why you decided to follow someone on Twitter? It's easy to feel like your digital life is cluttered. As a writer, I tend to lean towards the attitude of the more friends the better. It's more about social networking than building solid friendships for me. Or is it? Perhaps there are important relationships to be built that I just don't know about yet. Yesterday I attended the #140 conference in Kitchener, Ontario. I knew some of the people who were attending, which was a relief (I find it stressful when I don't see any familiar faces). I "met" a whole lot of new people. And by met, I mean, I heard them speak about topics which they are passionate about and then followed them on twitter and told them how much I dug their presentations.

In 140 characters, I reached out and let someone know that I valued their ideas and wanted to hear more from them. That's powerful, no? The beauty of social media isn't that companies can get you to "like" them on Facebook so that you can get access to exclusive coupons. The beauty of social media is that one person, with one idea, can reach millions of people and start a meaningful discussion. It means that I can tell one little boy's story and influence researchers, doctors, families with children with autism,  and sometimes just people who find joy in appreciating the small things. Or maybe reading about Max helps someone know that they aren't alone in this journey. I may never know that my writing about Max has made a difference in someone's life. The only thing I can be sure if is that writing about Max has made a difference in my life. Either way, I figure everybody wins.

As I expand my network, be it through Facebook, Twitter, conferences or real life, I make a conscious decision about who I am going to build relationships with - who I am going to "let in". Of course, the opposite is true as well -- when people meet me, they will decide if I am worthy of building a relationship with. Yesterday was a terrific reminder of how we can all use social media to make a profound difference in our world and how we can make meaningful connections so long as we manage our influence over those we reach, responsibly. Never forget, as Jeff Pulver so eloquently said in his opening address "We're living in a time where 100s of millions can find each other from one single idea, one single voice". Here, here!

you're not so bad yourself.

My self-esteem has taken a beating lately.  Self-doubt, feelings of not being good enough, not having enough of me to go around, not being able to knock it out of the park every damn day, not getting dinner on the table, the laundry done, or cleaning my bathroom...not expressing my love well enough, and not living up to everyone's expectations.  I wonder if everyone feels like a failure all the time, or if it is just me?  I wonder if everyone has the little voice inside their heads saying "you have to do better, you have to hold all this together, because if you don't...".  If I don't, I don't know what will happen.

What will happen? Will everything fall apart? Maybe that would be okay.  Because then, when I go to pick up the pieces, I can pick up only the ones that I want to pick up, and leave the rest for someone else.  I went to talk with a therapist yesterday, and it was really empowering.  She told me that I'm strong, stronger than most people.  She told me I'm amazing, that no matter what life throws at me, I will make it through it where other people would be knocked down and give up.  She told me that I am worthy and powerful, and to not let anyone make me think otherwise.  And I believe her.

So I lead by example and try to be kind.  I reach out for help for me and for my family.  I try to understand that we are all tired, stressed out and sad.  I do my best.  I do my best.  That's all I can do.