Saturday, July 18, 2009

No Cure.

There is no cure for Autism. I often hear parents describe their child as "cured" or "recovered" from Autism, and I think to myself "I pray that will be me one day, that I will be able to say Max is cured or fully recovered". But truly, there is no cure, there are only best outcomes. Do I think Max will be a best outcome case? Absolutely. I am only now starting to accept that he will never be cured.
What does this mean? It means that I am coming to terms with what Autism is, what it means to Max and our family. It means that I am reassessing all of the relationships in my life, observing other people's relationships, and trying to determine what a normal relationships is.  I'm asking myself questions like "are normal relationships the be all and end all?" and having internal debates about the assumptions I make about what I deem necessary to live a happy, fulfilled life.  Just because I think one needs X, Y, and Z to be happy doesn't make it so.  I only think that because it is all I know.  Who am I to judge what makes a good relationship?  Maybe it is okay to have a relationship 100% based on mutual love of a certain topic, or relationships where one person has the understanding that the other is not able to have a fully functioning emotional connection with them, and accepts it for what it is and for what that person is able to give.  All along I have been thinking that Max needs to be able to experience life based on my "ideal scenario".  It probably isn't going to happen, and that is my problem, not his.  
I really have no idea what the future holds.  I certainly have high hopes, and I dream of Max being happy and fulfilled  (whatever that looks like).  I don't look at video of Autistic adults on youtube as an indicator of where we are going, because I don't think they are an accurate prediction of what Max will be like as an adult. The therapy Max is receiving is ground breaking, and he has received early intervention.  I know that the progress will continue in tiny incremental steps, and I need to be patient.  There is no magic cure, only hard work and a tonne of perseverance.  All that to get to a best outcome.

Friday, July 17, 2009

A Farewell to Boobs.

My boobs, they are pretty incredible. And by that, I don't mean that they are spectacular in appearance (though by the constant ogling they receive, I would hazard a guess that they aren't half bad). What I do mean, is that they have done right by me, and my kids (and likely my husband). The past 4 years have not been kind to them. They went from being swollen and tender when I was preggo with Max, to getting completely abused for an entire year of breastfeeding. I weaned Max and was pregnant again within a few months so back to being swollen and tender - followed by another 14 months of breastfeeding with Cameron. And they did it - with very few complaints I might add. But as I wound down breastfeeding Cameron over the past month, I started to get very, very concerned. What had four years of hard work done to my girls? I have heard horror stories from other women about how when they weaned their last baby, their breasts all but disappeared, a mere shadow of their former perky selves. Would I be saving pennies in a pickle jar to hoist the sisters back up?
Cameron has been fully weaned for 2 weeks now.  Every day I give the girls a squeeze, check them out from different angles and assess the collateral damage.  I have even inquired with Scott as to whether or not he thinks they still look good.  Of course, he is not stupid and has said comforting things like "of course babe, they are wonderful" and "they are still more than a handful".  They are definitely different than they were before I got pregnant, but I think they have weathered the storm and come out the other side as beautiful as ever.  Resilient, that they are.  And in my opinion, they still qualify as bodacious ta-tas, even if they don't overflowith from my top anymore.  And girls, not to worry, you are officially off duty.  No more babies and no more breastfeeding.  The bakery is closed. 

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Prepping For BlogHer.

I had the pleasure of visiting the Mabel's Labels offices today and seeing where the label magic happens. It was wonderful to finally get to meet all of the ladies I've been emailing with and chatting with over the past 6 months. Funny how we all have these online relationships, and when you finally get to be know each other "IRL" (in real life), you just kind of pick up and continue on. I love that!
The Mabel's ladies - Mumby, Caitlyn, Melissa and Melissa took me to a local restaurant (can't remember what it was called for the life of me). We are all super excited about BlogHer - and Mabel's has some amazing plans for the convention. We nailed down some technical details (like, which parties we are all going to), you know, the really important stuff. Seriously though, we did talk about tweeting, blogging, networking, and bowling.

I ordered a triple decker grilled cheese sandwich with bacon and tomato, with fries for lunch (and a diet coke, natch). They proceeded to order healthy wraps and salads, making me feel like an A1 Junkaholic. Mind you, when our lunches came, they were all sorry they didn't get on board the grease train with me. Since they weren't feeling like having their pictures taken, I photographed their lunches instead. Fair warning ladies - you better be ready to work the camera in Chicago, I will be taking pictures, and I will take no prisoners!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Lunching With the Ladies From Mabel's Labels.

One week from today I'll be getting ready to go to Chicago for the BlogHer convention. I can't believe that it is almost here! It feels like a lifetime ago that I won the Mabel's Labels BlogHer contest - so much has happened since then. But here we are in mid July, and another adventure is coming my way.

Tomorrow I'm going to meet all the ladies from Mabel's - and I'm getting a tour of their office! I'll take lots of picture, maybe shoot some video and get the deets on the big trip. I can't believe how much is going to get packed into 3 short days. Also, I can't wait to see Jennifer without the kids! Is that bad?  I have a feeling this is going to be a great trip, both personally and professionally!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Max Update.

Max is having a burst of progress this week. It is so important to acknowledge these periods of progress, because as much as we are waiting for them, praying for them, they do sneak up on us.

On Saturday, Max got on the swing.

On Sunday, he walked into the kitchen, pulled a cup off the counter and handed it to me. He wanted milk. Pretty clear communicating, eh?

On Monday morning, when I was driving him to daycare, I pulled up to the stoplight where I usually turn left to take Max to blueballoon. Instead, I turned right, to go to daycare, and he got really upset. All this time I assumed he wasn't paying attention to where we were going, but he clearly knows exactly where we are going, and he doesn't want to go to daycare!

On Monday afternoon, in his speech therapy session he said "nut", "mommy" (which according to his speech therapist, Kim, sounds like "duhduh" but she insists he IS saying mommy though, not daddy even though it sounds like daddy). He also said "pig", "cookie", "chips", and "crispie".

On Tuesday morning, Max pulled his pajama top over his head all by himself when I asked him to take his "shirt off".

On Tuesday afternoon, when Max's Bumpa pointed out that he had "poopy pants", Max patted his bumm, walked to the bathroom, opened the door, and pulled the toilet visual off the visual schedule.  He then laid down on his change pad.

All small steps, but together, it's a mile. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings. Go Max!!

Monday, July 13, 2009

The Sound Guy Finally Gets Some Love.

My super talented friend Michelle Mailhot is the soprano for the group Toxic Audio. They decided to show their often overlooked and forgotten sound technician some love with a tribute video. Pretty dog damn funny. Enjoy!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Is It Bedtime Yet?

Cameron is a handful. I love her - she is my pride and joy. She likes things how she likes them. She firmly believes that we all exist to be at her beck and call. She likes to be held, does not like to be put down, and gets super pissed off when there isn't a wide selection of pacifiers available for her to choose from. Because you know, the pink one tastes different than the purple one, right?Today was a particularly challenging day. Did I mention that Cameron has also figured out that she can scream? Really loud too. It brings her great joy, especially if she can make Max scream too. Bonus points for that! So, good thing she's cute, because she has started making me ask "Is it bedtime yet?", at 6:30pm (a full 90 minutes before she usually goes to bed).  But she's so cute, I can't resist her.  Anyone feel like babysitting?