Remember, my sweet, even though I'm a miserable bastard sometimes...

Friday night: Driving home from work, I was so tired I was seeing double. I felt like I was going to drive off the road. I think I slept through the Raptors game. Scott went out to play Poker (his new drug) and I watched my HDTV recorded shows (my new drug).

Saturday: In-laws came over for dinner. We totally overextended ourselves on the meal and ended up having a "disagreement" in the kitchen. GREAT! I love airing my dirty laundry. That is lie. Highlights include Scott spilling water all over the gas range, extinguishing 2 of 4 elements I needed to prepare the meal and me refrigerating the red wine. Meal turned out well, but lesson learned - only one part of the meal can be time-consuming/challenging/vaguely gourmet - NOT BOTH! I will blog about the recipes later - they are excellent, but should only be made individually.

Sunday: Purchased new "Champion" water saving toilet from Home Depot. Apparently this thing can flush 27 golf balls. So, you know Scott had to have it. Our downstairs bathroom has been out of commission for a month (we have 3 more bathrooms that work). Since we are having a Superbowl party next weekend, we needed to get this thing up and running. Well, almost. This badboy is higher up than the last one, so I need to go BACK to Home Depot and get a longer hose. I love going BACK to Home Depot. Really. So, on the way home tonight I will run said errand, in hopes that when I hook up the hose, all will be well and the bowl will not leak (like last time...). Long, watery, shitty story. (Update - turns out, same shitty story, the tank leaks so we get to go back to Home Depot for a 3rd time to get a new tank...FUN!)

Monday: Quote of the day (from Scott) - "Remember, my sweet, even though I'm a miserable bastard sometimes, I'm a miserable bastard who will hit "Refresh" for 5 minutes so that he can get you second-row Cho tickets." Which reminds me, Scott and I are going on a double date to see Margaret Cho with two of my xbi coworkers. One of them claims to be a bigger fan than us. We'll see about that!

Schmoo & Butterbean need a home.

Whenever I am feeling sad, or cranky, or like I could just use some cheering up, I pop over to the Annex Cat Rescue website and I check out their adoptions page. We got Samba from the Annex Cat Rescue. Well, more like "I" got Samba from the Annex Cat Rescue. Her name was Sybil when I got her, and she had this double inhale/exhale purr that could melt your heart. I guess Scott didn't realize how serious I was about getting another kitty, because when he got home that night, and found this grey smudge hiding in the bathroom (behind the toilet), well, he was a bit surprised. She quickly won him over (he taught her how to box her own tail and fart at the same time) and now she sleeps on top of him every night. Despite his cat allergies, he even loves her more than I do. We are trying to talk Scott's folks into getting a cat sooner rather than later. I think they would love having a cat - low maintenance, no walks, and they poop in a box for goodness' sake. Anyway, if you live in the GTA, and you are thinking about getting a cat, check out the Annex Cat Rescue. Their animals aren't caged, they can actually tell you about the personality of the cat to make sure it is a match with you and they do really great work. They have even more cats than they show on their website (everthing from kittens to grown up kitties). I would adopt Schmoo & Butterbean myself, but Scott tells me having more than 2 cats would qualify me for the crazy cat lady awards...so two will have to suffice.

I feel better now. Thanks Annex Cat Rescue.

Celebrate the love of the one you're with.

How did we not know all along that George Michael is gay? Were the Wham days of shaved tan legs in white short shorts not enough? Just a thought...god bless the 80's, eh? Anyway, I heard his song "Amazing" again on the radio this morning. And it made me happy, even in rush hour traffic, I was seat dancing. Don't ask [it is a vision]. I may go buy his cd, I like it that much. Shut up in advance.

Good news - I wrote my exam and I believe [perhaps foolishly] that it went well. We'll see. But at least it is over. No more late Wednesday nights, no more studying, no more structured self-improvement. For a while anyway.

Last night, Solitaire and I were messaging back and forth and she was making me avatars from the yahoo avatar site. Scott asked me if I was twelve, which of course, I am. I am easily entertained. She wrote a sweet blog about us today.

Here is my looking vexed at Scott when he told me about his new Timbaland boots. I figure I should go get myself something as a reward for finishing my nightschool class and even the balance of spending. Any suggestions?

Gin & Ginger Prawns

I have been asked several times now for this recipe, so here you go! Hopefully the Domestic Goddess will come by and add a little zest to it or something.

Ingredients:
20 - 24 medium prawns, shelled, deveined, de-tailed
2 tbsp budduh
1/4 cup green onions, sliced
2 - 3 tbsp pickled ginger
3 tbsp gin

Directions:
1. Heat budduh until melted. Add green onions, ginger and gin. Add prawns and saute until pink.
2. Have a swig of gin, right from the bottle.
3. Sing "Sippin' on gin and juice, laid back, with my mind on my money and my money on my mind".
4. Serve with jasmine rice.

Serves 2.

Up in the himalayas, C’mon I wanna lay ya.

I'm sure you've heard about Ricky Martin's "fact finding mission" to Thailand to report on the tsunami disaster. I'm not making this up - he actually said:

"The destructive effects caused by this natural phenomenon are indescribable and the consequences for the future are difficult to predict."

So, uh, what are you saying there Ricky? Doesn't sound very grounded in fact, whatever it is you are trying to articulate. Maybe you should just shake your bon-bon and leave the rescue missions to the experts? Check out the clip from Oprah's site (try not to get distracted by the Walt Disney ad floating down the middle of the page [smirk]. And NO - Walt Disney will NOT be donating any portion of your trip to the tsunami effort - they just figure if you have the money to donate to a worthy cause, you probably have some left over for uncle Walt.

Then we could be Heroes, just for one day.

I have just confirmed that I have yet another finely honed skill: Procrastination. Yes, I have cornered the market on Procrastination. And it isn't just the ability to put off the dreaded task (which happens to be studying for my Direct Marketing exam this coming Wednesday) it is my ability to justify the things I am putting ahead of studying. For instance, getting my hair done, trying a new ginger-gin shrimp recipe, helping Scott make mashed potatoes with his new potato ricer, shovelling my driveway, washing dishes (by hand no less!), making myself some tea, making Scott and myself salmon sandwiches, sorting the laundry, and writing a blog about the very thing I should be doing, but am not.

Did I mention that Scott and I watched Hero last night on PPV? I know, we are late adopters. Seems like EVERYONE has seen this already, including my Mom. She liked it better than Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, I did not. Scott liked it, but was ready for it be done by the end. Scott and I sat and read the credits, amazed at some of the short, punctuated names, and wondered to ourselves how many millions of people are probably named "Li Lei" alone. I fantasized about getting a framed print of the scene where Flying Snow and Moon are fighting in the yellow trees, their red robes swirling around them. Stunning cinematography. I kind of wonder about how the story was positioned (seemed like we were supposed to root for the bad guy/Emperor instead of the good guy/Nameless assassin. Margaret Cho recommends House of the Flying Daggers on her blog - so I'll have to check that out when it finally makes its way to North America. Sounds like Zhang Ziyi kicks some serious butt in this one.

This land doesn't know a real hero. Yet. But I really do need to study. Now.

Damnit I EARNED this weekend.

There's something really great about pulling up in my driveway on a Friday night. Especially when I have my cute husband by my side, HOT fish and chips ready to consume, and a nice bottle of shiraz waiting for me. It's like a world, or a least a few days, of rest lay before me. And if I haven't been too much of a dumbass, I have not planned very much outside of watching some football and taped tv shows, sleeping in, and maybe getting my hair done. This weekend I also have some studying to do, but I will not let that get me down. We are supposed to have a snowstorm tomorrow, but I don't even care, because I don't HAVE to go anywhere. The worst that will happen is I will miss my hair appointment, I can handle that. I made it through a week which started with finding out Ian is going to have a quadruple bypass and ended with getting a stack of plates dumped on my head and sour cream in my hair by a waitress at Shoeless Joe's in Toronto [yuck]. Good times. Today it was so cold that my eyeballs froze and then watered mascara EVERYWHERE [both a hott and professional look]. But next week I will be done my night school course and I will have my Wednesday nights back. TGIF Bitchez!

I am often ungrateful and clueless.

The older I get, the more I learn. Like, get a clue, get a perspective, figure out what's important. And don't take stuff for granted. I often joke about how when you feel good, you don't appreciate the fact that you can breathe out your nose. But when you can't breathe out your nose, boy do you wish you had appreciated those good "breathin' out your nose days". Seems dumb now, when I think about how someone who is really the father I never had, but am lucky enough now to get to have, is in the hospital, waiting to have his ticker fixed. My mom's husband Ian (aka "my folks"), the main father figure in my life, is having some major surgery next week. I'm not going to kid you, I'm pretty stressed out. When my mom told me about the surgery this morning, I kind of felt like I was going to be sick. I pretty much kept it together at work, though I told my boss if my mom says she needs me, I'm getting on a plane. It seems like she has a lot of support though, so she probably won't ask. But if she does, I will go. Ian has the energy of a twenty year old. He puts both Scott and me to shame - seriously, this man is a machine. So it is hard to imagine that he is in the hospital, hooked up to a bunch of machines. I called one of his best friends (Terry) to tell him, and Terry was all, "Oh, that's no big deal - he'll feel great once he is recovered - better than new". So I'm going to go with that perspective - seems the most optimistic and upbeat. Anyway, I usually post about lighter stuff, but I'm not really in the mood today. Take a look around you and appreciate the people you love.

This is our wedding party (left to right) - Jen, Christine, Jennifer, (me and Scott), Chris, Jeff, and Shane. Scott's parents are in the far right corner. We are blessed, and we know it.

Tonight I'm gonna give you all my love, in the "backseat".

I am seriously confused. You see, as an avid watcher of the O.C., it was clear to me in season one, that Summer and Seth had "the sex". Several times, as I recall. And even though it clearly wasn't very good, they had sex, at least twice. Yet, on this week's show, she was lamenting to Coop her fear that Seth had beaten her to it, "it" being, losing his virginity.

Huh?

Did the O.C. fire all of their writers from last season? Hey guys: THEY ALREADY DID IT! Season one - Episode 19! Go watch it. You don't get to un-lose your virginity, it doesn't work that way. You lose it, usually to some guy who you think you love, but in retrospect was kind of an asshole, and not nearly as cool as you thought... example: Seth Cohen. You can't just erase that whole event, to lose it again to your smart, cute, water-polo playing boyfriend. Trust me, I would have done it if those were the rules.

So, for the record, Seth, Summer, Coop, and Ryan are not virgins. Jury is out on Lindsay (though I think she is a virgin), and we are led to believe (so far) that Alex is "experienced" (she likes to party). I'm not sure what they are smoking over at Fox, but they need to get their story lines straight.

You're that kind that turns my head and makes me look...

...whoa whoa whoa uh uh uh uh. According to ticketmaster.ca:

You purchased 2 tickets to:
Jill Scott
Massey Hall, Toronto, ON
Wednesday March 16, 2005 8:00 pm

I set my alarm to make sure I didn't forget to buy these tickets the very moment they went on sale today at noon. And even then I only got seats in the balcony, row G, on the far right side. Our girl Jill has come a long way since Scott and I saw her in August 2001 at the Molson Amphitheatre (just days after Aaliyah died). Her live album that came out that November was actually recorded off of that very tour, though I believe they used the Washington, DC show for the actual album.
I don't often get excited about going to live shows, but Jill Scott in concert is somethin' else. I truly believe that she is the best soul/R&B/jazz/whatever-you-want-to-call-it singer of our time. She sings (not lip-syncs) all of her songs, but new arrangements of them that make you hear it in a different way altogether. No album-regurgitation here. Nope. And her band, (called "Fat Back Taffy") her band is just phenomenal. I am not a fan of Massey Hall, but it is probably a better venue than the ACC, and I should just be happy she isn't playing Kool Haus again like she did in August.

Is this because I'm a lesbian?

Goodbye Elisabeth Röhm. Don't let the door hit ya, where the good Lord split ya. I have been waiting for you to leave L&O since your terrible-no-skillz-couldn't-act-yer-way-out-of-a-paper-bag-(German)-skinny-ass first appeared on my favourite show. While I was kind of hoping you would get shot in the face, I suppose a good ol' natured "You are fired" will also suffice. I have yelled many nasty things at you via my television set. And this whole time, you were a lesbian. Had I known, I would have been much nicer to you. That is a lie. And you know what? Clearly, Dick Wolf didn't even like you, because he couldn't even be bothered to spell your name right on the nbc.com website. He didn't use the "oomlaut" [sp] over your "o". See, I am legit (actually, Scott sorted it out for me...). And for Adrianne (ever fond of "dick" jokes) - you know what they say about Dick Wolf...

Also, what's with the "Is this because I'm a lesbian" dialogue? We made it 3.5 seasons without needing to know that little tidbit about you. Talk about some useless scripting. Not only did Dick not like you, the writers must have HATED you!


Anyway, let's welcome to the new, improved (couldn't be worse) Assistant District Attorney "Dunnow Whathernameisyet". You couldn't possibly be hated more than your predecessor, or as hott as Claire (who, for the record, was not a lesbian...she was f'n her boss, Jack, and she died). If you can look half as pissy as Abbie I will really like you. And Elisabeth, good luck with your "movie career". Check in with Angie Harmon-SeaHORN to see how that's workin' out for her. If she can't do it, you certainly won't either. And for goodness sake, go eat a sandwhich. You and Jennifer Aniston both.

What's so special about Jennifer Aniston anyway?

And don't say "Friends" because we all know that show got lamer every year it was on the air. Scott said "The Good Girl" and then there is also "Office Space" too. But so what? How did she top the Forbes list of Hollywood's 100 Most Powerful People? She married Brad Pitt, that's how. And now it is all over. My heart bleeds, really. Their relationship started when their agents set them up on a date. Those who cared were lead to believe (by their tireless PR reps) that their relationship was all warm-fuzzy-happiness+sunkissed-perfection, but just like most things that look all shiny and glossy and untouchable, they were a big fake. A lie. A Sham. Whatev. I am sure they will both move on to other suitable "A" list actors. Maybe Brad will explore his wild side with a certain Angelina Joli. Maybe Jennifer will explore her wild side with Angelina Joli as well (hey, a little lesbianism has been known to help one's career!).
On a happier, equally less than sincere note, congrats to Seal and Heidi Klum. Damn. Good for him. GOOD FOR HER! I have had the pleasure of seeing Seal live in concert and never have I seen a finer ass in leather pants.Other well wishes to Jude Law and Sienna Miller...he barely let the ink dry on his divorce papers and she's 23 - not sure that bodes well for them, but stranger matches have worked, so they might as well give it a try.

Green Minivan Drivin' Muther F'ers.

If you drive a GREEN minivan, you are a mother fucker. This is the ultimate sin. If you drive a green minivan, you a Superior-Extraordinary-Class-*A*-Mother-Fucker! Seriously, check your warranty, it sez so right there. Don't you feel special?

And for all you non-drivers or normal-size-car-driving-people, just watch. Seriously. For the next month, I challenge you to prove me wrong. Watch those minivan drivers, especially the GREEN ones. I find it interesting that neither Ford or GMC are even making them in green anymore...must be because they realize they will be attracting even more motherfuckers than normal (bad enough having customers who are stupid enough to purchase American vehicles).

And to that GREEN MINIVAN DRIVING MOTHER FUCKER that cut me off only to drive 80km (IN A 110KM) I say, "FUCK YOU, GO HAVE SOME MORE KIDZ!". ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. And to that other GREEN MINIVAN DRIVING MOTHER FUCKER who needed to pull wide right in the lane, and sit there forever, only to put on his left turn signal to TURN INTO HIS DRIVEWAY and then wait to turn because he saw a little blip of light in the distance and needed to wait until it passed...45 SECONDS LATER - FUCK YOU TOO! Go have some more kids why dontca. Asshole. (I bet he owns 2 green minivans.)

Seriously folks, it's a good thing I love my sensible grey 2001 Camry, else I'd ram it right up someone's green minivan drivin' ass.

Saturday Night: The Longest, Coldest Night of Kat's Life.

I am guessing that Scott has never been good at sharing. The ongoing saga of "Scott the Cover Hog" continues, with the latest instalment called "Saturday Night: The Longest, Coldest Night of Kat's Life". In this chapter, Scott steals all of the covers (impressive as this includes a sheet, a duvet, and a quilt!) an average of two times an hour, commencing at 1am and continuing until 11am. Each time when the beautiful Kat is rudely and coldly awaken, she tugs on the covers, using her full weight to roll them back over Scott to recover her fair share. The nasty Scott waits stealthily for her to fall back asleep before he cruelly yanks them off her leaving her unprotected in the darkened night. When she awakes and tries an alternate tactic of moving into the middle of the bed (bringing herself to the covers, instead of the covers to her) he loudly complains "Hey, move over, you're crowding me!". And that my faithful readers, is why Scott is commonly referred to as "Scotty McFUCKER"! I bet Jon Stewart doesn't hog the covers...

Edited to add: Scott wanted me to point out that he doesn't hog the covers intentionally, that he does this in his sleep and doesn't mean to do it and would stop if he could.

We have to stop meeting like this.

In my dreams, that is.

Jon Stewart and I had a lovely series of encounters on Thursday night/Friday morning (sometime between the hours of 11:30pm and 6:30am when I was rudely awaken by the sound of my husband's alarm clock). I told Scott (my husband) of said encounters over pizza and a Raptors game last night. He didn't seem to mind (apparently it's okay for me to tell him about my sexy dreams if they a) involve him or b) involve celebrities who I will never meet). Note, he would prefer to never hear about sexy dreams that c) involve anyone we actually know. Fortunately, my subconscious shoots a little higher on the food chain than his Burlington friends (no offence to them) preferring incredibly sexy, intelligent, successful, slightly nerdy men. Hmmm...probably should seek a professional opinion on this and see if I have some sort of a weird fetish here. Regardless, I am pleased to tell you that Jon was very charming, shorter than I imagined, just as witty as you would think, and a REALLY GOOD KISSER. Also, he cooks a mean brisket. I'm not sure when we will meet again, but I hope it is soon as I thoroughly enjoyed our time together and he promised to...well, that's private and between me and him, but you get the idea [wink wink]. I guess I should stop suggesting to Scott that we go to NYC to see a taping of the Daily Show. He might get suspicious...

The Best Revenge Really is Success.

I was reminded today that the best revenge really is success. I received an email from a spy at my old company (someone who nobody thinks is my friend, so they tell her stuff they shouldn't...). Turns out, they aren't happy for me (even when one of them emailed me a "Happy New Years!" message asking how I am to try to dig up dirt!). Whatev. Long story short is that this is a SMALL FUCKING TOWN, YO! It didn't take long for the info about my new wicked job at the xbi to get back to them and it turns out they are still the small minded, talentless assholes that I left behind. Imagine that. I really think that what goes around comes around and that often the biggest punishment that exists is that someone gets to live the rest of their weasley little life being themselves. That's right - you get to live every single day of your pathetic, meaningless, loser life being YOU! And your player husband is a salesman and he's probably cheating on your ugly ass and if I cared I'd feel bad for your unborn child.

Do you think someone is an asshole and deserves to be told off? DO IT! Then don't look back. Onwards and upwards bitchez!

Scotty G, west side.

I just got an email from the other other Scott. Scott G from California, to be specific. He is my stepbrother's stepbrother (figure that one out!), and I have known him since we were both in the single digits. Don't tell anyone, but I once had a little crush on him, and because there is no blood relation, and I was silly and young and in college, it doesn't count and it is not even remotely incestuous. To show him how much I liked him I went and made out with one of his friends. Gotta love the maturity of a college girl, eh? Anyway, he sends me these silly emails from time to time that make me laugh out loud. He calls me things like dingleberry and chucklehead and because of that I am posting a picture of us from this past Halloween at our mutual stepbrother David and his crazy wife Haschmo's party in Ithaca.

His drawn out divorce from whatshernameitdoesntmatter is going to be final on the 22nd and he is going to be laid off on the 31st and he might come visit us. We will have a big party because he is finally FREE in so many ways and he can start a new adventure and do ANYTHING he wants. So, yes, ladies, he's a cutie with a great sense of humour, he is super nice, he plays hockey and he could be a Calvin Klein underwear model (though you'd never guess it from that picture). But I think he is going to pick up and move to the other side of the world to go teach English to some lucky non-English speaking girls. Anyway, he is a righteous dude and a standup guy and I am so happy we have kept in touch over the years (he even travelled from California to be at our wedding). Don't feel bad for him about the job thing either, he is so much better off, he really is a LUCKY BASTARD! 2005 is Scotty G's year - you heard it here first.

2004:Year in Review.

After a very sober new year's eve (I made Scott a deal where if he went out and got me Thai food for dinner I would be the designated driver) I was very pleased to wake up sans hangover on the 1st. Funny, that non-hangover feeling - it is so much better than that "I need to lay on the couch all day and watch golf" feeling. We went to Jeff and Korrie's house and hung out with Dave and Jen, Fatz and Matt, Mike and Melissa, and Matt the hottie Fireman. As it appears that many of my blogging friends have done 2004 recaps, I must jump on the bandwagon as well.

2004 - The good things:

Scott and I got married and it was beautiful
Just 2 months short of our 6th anniversary we tied the knot in front of friends and family. It was an amazing day and I am glad we stuck to our plans and our guns - we had a lot of fun. We learned a lot about who our friends are, and who love us and how blessed we are.

Scott and I went to Jamaica
Our first trip together to somewhere sunny and sandy. Cut short by Hurricane Ivan, but we got home safe, so it's all good! We are hoping to celebrate our anniversary with another trip this year.

I got to go to BC and my mom came here twice (3 visits in 2004!)
With the bridal shower and the wedding, my mom was able to come out to Onterrible two times, Ian came once, and I got to go out west for a week as well. That is better than most years for sure!

I stopped speaking to someone who causes me nothing but pain
I finally broke free from a person that has been really shitty to me for a long time and it feels good, in fact, it feels better every day. I have to support of my friends, and also the family members that I care most about. To those who don't understand, that is their problem - not mine.

I got a new and better job
One of the best Christmas presents for us was me getting a new job in December (who knew it could be done). So far so good - the people are a lot smarter, more professional and creative than the last place I worked at. It's nice to look forward to where I'm going every morning.

We got a new (to us) car
After the devil car (see bad things list) died and left us stranded in New York State, we bought a 2001 Toyota Camry and it is a wonderful wonderful car. I love it for all of its plain-unfanciness and safe-smooth riden' ways. I will never, ever, if my life depends in (couldn't get me to take one for free) by an American car again. Japanese for life.

2004 - The bad things:

Our furnace died
We were hoping to make it through last winter without replacing the furnace, but no, the creaky old thing conked out at the end of February (meaning we got none of the benefit of replacing it that year as spring was almost upon us). We learned the value of getting 3 quotes and now know more about furnaces than we ever need to. Owning a home can be very rewarding, but also very stressful at times.

Our car died
Our '98 Intrigue bit the big one in Tonawanda. And no, contrary to popular belief, it was NOT BECAUSE WE DIDN'T CHANGE THE OIL!!! Do we look stupid? It died because it was a lemon, a big honky piece of shit American car. Turned out okay as we got a much better car (see list of good things).

I lost my job
Turned out to be a good thing (see "I got a new and better job") but it totally sucked because I got laid off two weeks after our honeymoon by a backstabbing bitch who thinks she is the queen of marketing but who's skills are so out-dated she couldn't run a successful campaign to save her backwoods ass if her hick life depended on it. But I believe in karma, boy do I ever.

I have been very inconsistent with exercising
My self-esteem is very much tied up in my weight and I have been very inconsistent with working out. This is bad because exercising is good and I need to do it more as it makes me feel better in so many ways.

I only visited Jennifer in Ottawa once.
I went to Ottawa in the spring to visit Jennifer and help her pick her maid of honour dress. I intended to visit Jennifer this summer before the wedding, but I was so stressed out I didn't make it. I had a trip planned for November but our piece of shit car died and we were in the process of buying a new one so we didn't make it. Jennifer came to Toronto about a million times, so I feel very badly about this.

And what will 2005 bring? Hopefully more good than bad. There is always some bad, or else you wouldn't appreciate the good, right? I don't want to make any predictions or goals except to say that I would like to clear the clutter out of my life - that includes emotional clutter, material clutter, and just all encompassing CLUTTER. Be gone.