bucket list

to do:
  1. not die in a parachute/hand gliding collision
  2. take a vacation at one of those hedonist resorts (because watching people do stuff while they are drunk and naked is awesome)
  3. become a decent photographer (so I can take pictures of naked people)
  4. go to one of those spa resorts in Arizona for a month (where my boobs will miraculously get perkier and my tummy will get flatter - all without diet or exercise!)
  5. not suck at gardening (and maybe even harvest vegetables and non-poisonous berries)
  6. learn how to build a deck 
  1. be short (yay me!)
  2. dye my hair a primary colour (unfortunate)
  3. learn how to quilt
  4. get 2 degrees in jazz voice (because that will be really helpful in uh, getting jobs... right?)
  5. get my photo taken with two police officers on horses while I am completely smashed and dressed in a veil and drinking redbull and vodka out of a flesh coloured dildo flask 
  6. sit in Butch Carter's box at the ACC and see the Dixie Chicks in concert
  7. puke at the top of Pikes Peak in Colorado
  8. learn how to rock climb (one of those indoor places will suffice, I don't need to fall off the side of a mountain)
  9. take a life drawing class (nude people!)
  10. write a novel about mermaids (topless people!)
likely to go unfulfilled:
  1. see Shirley Horn live in concert (rip Shirley)
  2. be tall (hey there are always stilts...)
  3. have a twin sister (though my friend Alana comes pretty darn close)