Monday, January 10, 2005

Green Minivan Drivin' Muther F'ers.

If you drive this vehicle, you are a MOTHER FUCKER!
If you drive a GREEN minivan, you are a mother fucker. This is the ultimate sin. If you drive a green minivan, you a Superior-Extraordinary-Class-*A*-Mother-Fucker! Seriously, check your warranty, it sez so right there. Don't you feel special?

And for all you non-drivers or normal-size-car-driving-people, just watch. Seriously. For the next month, I challenge you to prove me wrong. Watch those minivan drivers, especially the GREEN ones. I find it interesting that neither Ford or GMC are even making them in green anymore...must be because they realize they will be attracting even more motherfuckers than normal (bad enough having customers who are stupid enough to purchase American vehicles).

And to that GREEN MINIVAN DRIVING MOTHER FUCKER that cut me off only to drive 80km (IN A 110KM) I say, "FUCK YOU, GO HAVE SOME MORE KIDZ!". ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. And to that other GREEN MINIVAN DRIVING MOTHER FUCKER who needed to pull wide right in the lane, and sit there forever, only to put on his left turn signal to TURN INTO HIS DRIVEWAY and then wait to turn because he saw a little blip of light in the distance and needed to wait until it passed...45 SECONDS LATER - FUCK YOU TOO! Go have some more kids why dontca. Asshole. (I bet he owns 2 green minivans.)

Seriously folks, it's a good thing I love my sensible grey 2001 Camry, else I'd ram it right up someone's green minivan drivin' ass.

10 comments:

  1. Anonymous10:48 PM

    Gee, road rage much? And I don't fancy all that cussin'. It's not becomin' of a propah lady.

    Scott

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  2. YEAH, WHATEVAH DUDE.

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  3. Guy... I never knew all dem words existed in yuh, iyah. Eberytime mi did talk with yuh and di man (a wha 'im name... yeah, Scott...lol) all a wunnah is propa like mi know how white folks dem be.

    A wha dis cussin? A wha DIS? (LOUD *CHUPSE*)

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  4. Anonymous1:05 AM

    um....tea and a bubble bath?

    mb

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  5. Anonymous8:19 AM

    I'm surprised that your grammarian husband didn't catch you on your use of "penultimate" which actually means "second last". Like "This is my penultimate muslix bagel, I only have one left for tomorrow's breakfast."

    Green mini van driving is actually only an ultimate sin!

    ;)

    Jen

    ps COOKIES!!!!!!!!! Chris wasn't lying, we got them. I'm going to bring a bunch to Octopus this morning and get the staff high on sugar!

    J.

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  6. That's one of the many things I like about you, Kat. Your capacity for rage. It's almost a superpower. You could be Mz. Furious.

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  7. Wow... just wow...

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  8. Anonymous4:12 PM

    Actually my dear Kat, all rage aside I must concur. You are 100% correct. I personally KNOW a man who drives a green minivan and he is a certified (or certifiable?) jerk. I won't say worse becuase he gave me my alterations on my wedding gown as a wedding gift last year. But you are right. They are freaks. And they are terrible drivers. And well...he has kids so at one point or another he was undoubtedly a mother-fu**ker. Thank you and good-night!

    Jennifer - http://www.domesticgoddess.ca

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  9. Lol. Everyone seems so surprised by my nasty words. See, I look nice, and that's where it ends. I am not a nice girl (Scott will confirm this).

    I saw a green minivan on the way home, and he was going to start backing out of his driveway, even though he saw me coming - so I HONKED MY HORN AT HIM and he stopped. See, still a motherfucker, but at least he can hear.

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  10. Anonymous7:55 PM

    Yes you are. :-(

    mb

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