tmi tuesday: your nipples are supposed to be how high?

When women get drunk, we talk about all sorts of things.  Like, crazy stuff that would blow your mind if you were a fly on the wall.  For instance - did you know that your nipples are supposed to be located exactly half way between your shoulder and your elbow?  I know right?  I too, have longer than average upper arms.  That's the only way I can explain the fact that my nipples don't point at the sun.

Also - there is a place in Toronto where you can get a boob lift AND a tummy tuck at the same time for only $6,000.  And the doctor is legit - comes with recommendations and everything.  We spend that in a single month on Max's therapy.  You think Max would mind if we just skipped his treatment next month?  I mean, his mommy would be so much perkier as a result - win-win for everyone in my mind.  And, the general consensus was that La Senza has the most comfortable and flattering thongs...gotta get to La Senza in the very near future.  I love the fact that the majority of my women friends wear thongs.  That's hot.  Also, 3 of 5 of these women snuck away during the wedding reception with their husbands.  I won't say who, except one of these ladies isn't married and the other one's husband wasn't at the wedding.  Blondes and red heads really DO have more fun.  

My mind is still blown about the whole nipple thing.  

Hooray For Titties!

In an effort to lighten the f*ck up, I thought I'd write about one of my favourite topics: boobs. What's not to like about boobs? They are beautiful, soft, curvy, multi-purpose, and fun! Scott hipped me to a new site this week - Why Mommy Drinks Rum (very funny), where I was directed toward my new favourite site, Boob Emancipation. All I can say is "thanks for sharing ladies!". Scott thinks that Why Mommy Drinks Rum looks like Gianna Michaels (an adult film star), except with smaller breasts. This led to all sorts of interesting google searches, conversations and looks of shocked amazement (me not him). I highly recommend you do any internet research regarding Ms.Michaels after your kiddos go to bed, and certainly from home. You can thank me later.