Infinite Possibilities.

I tried something new today. Well, new for me lately anyway. This morning, as I brushed my teeth, I looked myself in the mirror and informed myself "today can be a great day - you just have to make it happen". And so it was said and so it was.

It was pouring rain out. Which is great for my garden.

I felt tired and sluggish. So I called my coworkers on the way into the office to find out how they take their coffee so I could bring everyone a cup of energy.

There is a lot for me to learn in my new job in a short period of time. And my coworkers are incredibly supportive and confident that I will get it.
After working all day I was pooped. Did you catch that? I WORKED all day. I was paid for being an expert in my field. And not one of my coworkers wiped their snotty nose on me.

Cameron fought me up and down when I washed her hair tonight. And then she giggled and sang off key with me during story time and told me she loved me.

Max had a hard time going to sleep and he stayed up late tonight. And he pooped in the potty. He POOPED in the potty.I'm nowhere close to my goal of raising $3500 for the Walk For Autism. Three women I went to grade school with (2 who I haven't seen since Grade 4) are joining us for the walk because Max inspires them.

My house isn't as clean as I'd like it to be. There is a beautiful purple flowery wreath hanging on my front door that makes me smile.I am looking forward to tomorrow. It can be a great day - I just have to make it happen.

More Family Than You Can Shake a Stick At.

My little bro Dan is graduating from Queen's on Wednesday, so there was a little event for him in Toronto to celebrate his accomplishment. There were family members I've never met before, some of Dan's friends, some of my big brother David's friends, and of course, family I'm very familiar with. (If I'd known David was allowed to invite his friends for free beer I totally would have invited some of my friends - who by the way are much better looking than David's friends.)

Anyway...the minute we got to the pub I hoisted Cameron into Dan's arms so I could take a picture of them. He doesn't really know how to hold a kid, and Cameron (the squirmiest girl ever didn't help matters):Then I jumped in the frame, and whoever took this picture was not kind enough to tell me I was doing my best Miss Piggy impression, so, uh, thanks for that. Also, I think Dan and I must get our eyebrows waxed at the same place:
Blake, my favourite cousin (because he lent me money while I was in University) was there with his super cute kids - in this picture, Lauren and Suzanne (and Aunt Haschmo):
And last but not least, the event organizer, my dad Michael (the one who raised me and taught me how to tear shit up, install stuff, nail things down, and know when to call in an expert to fix what you messed up):
Since the party was smack-dab in the middle of Cam's nap she passed out on the way home. We got stuck in traffic for a bit so I snapped this pic of her catching zzz's in her H&M sunglasses. Tomorrow my mom hits town - I know, right? More family than you can shake a stick at!

The Good, The Bad, and The Family.

My brother David, his lovely wife Haschmo, and my nephew Zevi are in Toronto this weekend, and as you can see, Cameron was very excited to see them:She even let me take a picture with her Uncle David (action shot): Zevi wasted no time at all and quickly planted himself in the sandbox. He filled my watering can with sand. Super helpful:Cam really liked playing with Zevi, as he's a lot nicer to her than Max is (her bro is going through a bit of a meany stage lately):Max stuck to the sidelines, but definitely enjoyed the fact that everyone was outside:I tried to talk the kids into helping me with my big summer gardening project, but nothing doing, so I had to repot these flower baskets all by myself!: This would have been the perfect shot if only Cam would have looked at the camera...she seems to have discovered that not cooperating with my picture taking efforts is a lot of fun:
Max started scooting around the backyard on his butt (itchy I guess?) so I got him to play an oldy by goody, "duck duck goose". Worked like a charm and I got one of my best photos of the day as a result:Max and I are flying solo tonight as Scott and Cam have headed over to Nana & Bumpa's for a night off from the crazy house. Tomorrow - more family - A LOT MORE family. Oy.

The Vaccination Debate.

Cameron got her 1 year MMR shot yesterday. She turned 2 last month. I don't consider myself on the anti-vaccine bandwagon, and I have read the findings of numerous studies which have concluded that vaccines (specifically the MMR) do not cause Autism. I just wasn't comfortable, in my heart of hearts, in having Cameron get the MMR at one year of age.

I don't believe that Max getting the MMR vaccine gave him Autism, but I don't think it helped him. I have a feeling that in years to come, with a lot more research, what will be found is that if a child is showing symptoms of being on the spectrum, then vaccines, specifically the MMR will not be administered as they may contribute to making symptoms of Autism and other spectrum disorders more severe. Keep in mind this is just my opinion. Both my children are vaccinated. I did delay Cameron getting vaccinated, but she is now on a schedule to get caught up. I'm not a huge fan of Jenny McCarthy and I think that her anti-vaccine campaign has done more harm than good.

The Autism community seems to be split down the middle on the vaccination debate. I'm not about to tell a parent that getting vaccinated didn't cause their child to lose his or her ability to speak, to regress into the world of Autism. Parents know their kids better than anyone else, and if their observation was that their child got vaccinated and then BAM!, everything started to fall apart, then there is probably something to that.

I have written about the fact that I saw a lot of markers for Autism in Max's first year of life. I think the reason a lot of people point fingers at the MMR vaccine is that it is administered when a child turns one. In the first year, all of the developmental milestones we look for are around mobility. Is the child rolling over, sitting up, crawling, walking? In the second year of life, the focus shifts to communication - is the child speaking - one word, two word combos, labelling, and playing creatively? Those are the milestones that Max wasn't hitting, but there were a lot of other milestones he missed in the first year that we didn't know to look for, or we just wrote off when our doctor told us we were being nervous first time parents and that we shouldn't worry.

The key to all of this is that a lot more research needs to be done on the causes of Autism, how to diagnose early and of course what the most effective treatments are. Nobody should have to live with Autism - not the individuals suffering with it, or their families and friends left helpless and devastated by it.Please support us by sponsoring us and/or joining us for the Autism Speaks Walk For Autism on June 20th. It would mean the world to Max, Scott, Cameron and me.

Before and After: Dining Room Makeover.

The problem, you see, is that our dining room (the room we eat all of our meals in, unless we are parked in front of the tv) is centrally located between our kitchen and family room. It is the place one immediately dumps things on upon coming through the front door. When the table is full, things cascade onto the sideboard. Also, we store toys in there. So, yeah, we're asking a lot of a room that is about 10 feet by 10 feet.

For entertainment purposes, I took the before pictures when the dining room looked just about as bad as I've ever seen it:Let's not miss the alternate angle - gotta see ALL the crap piled up EVERYWHERE:And of course, saving the best for last - the ancient crappy plastic blinds left by the previous owners that the kids have had their way with (note, the broken off parts are great for seeing who's at the front door at deciding whether or not to hide in the kitchen and pretend your not home...not that we've done that): The dining room makeover has been a work in progress for the last month or so. I actually started with the blinds, but the new chandelier is really the best part. Jennifer helped me pick it out when she was here for the birthdaypalooza weekend. She thought I needed something whimsical to cheer myself up in the morning. When I first showed it to Scott he hated it, but he hated all of the chandeliers I showed him. Once I figured out he just doesn't like chandeliers, I went ahead and got the one I liked the best (I mean, if he isn't going to like anything I buy, I might as well go with my first choice, right?).
I installed it all by my lonesome, because I'm not only a decent plumber, but I do some electrical work on the side (heh). Each of the strands of capiz shells was wrapped up in individual plastic packs, and they couldn't be opened until the shade was installed (or else they would have gotten all tangled up). It took a long ass time to unwrap all the strands. But the end result is stunning:
I cleaned up all the crap in the dining room, moved the toys OUT, and installed new blinds (Ikea) and sewed some new valances (made of inexpensive Ikea fabric):
Let's take another look at these wonderful blinds and valances that (in case you were wondering), I also installed all on my own:
While it is far from glamorous, it is much, much better. There are still some papers being stored where they shouldn't be, but whatever. One day I would like some new dining room furniture, that is maybe less that 50 years old and that the kids haven't kicked the crap out of. Until then, I'll be happy if we manage to keep this room tidy and the table clear. Unless there are flowers in the centre of it (ahem, hint hint Scott).

I Think They Missed Me.

The kids are happy I'm home. Max woke me up by climbing into bed with us this morning, giving me a big hug, pressing his cheek against mine. He sat between us beaming, as if to say "yay, my peeps are all here!". When I got Cam up this morning, she greeted me with a HUGE smile and said "MOMMY!" as she put her hands up in the air (her signal that she would like to be picked up). It's good to know that they were okay without me, because going away was really good for me. But it's nice that they missed me too.

Max and I went to Ikea and West Elm this afternoon. He's a good little shopper:When we got back, Cam showed off her mad swinging skillz - apparently while I was gone she learned how to fly:Scott and I had a nice relaxing dinner after the munchkins went to bed. I feel much more like myself. I think this solo road trip thing is something I should do again some time.

Road Trip: Day Five (Home With My Crew).

All good things must come to and end...that's a saying, right? This little road trip was just what I needed (and as it turns out, just what the doctor ordered). But it was time to come home, my crew missed me and I missed them. We celebrated my return with burgers and corn at Nana & Bumpa's. That's how we do: Cam thought her dad was being a little stingy with the butter: Looks like she approves:We got home and I found out that the A/C is flat busted. Ugh. Of course it is. Max decided that he was going to hang out with me while I watched the basketball game instead of going to bed. I figure that's okay:I opened up the bottle of wine I bought at Target. It was on sale, and it has a creative label. Tastes pretty good too, for a sauvignon blanc. It's good to be home.

Road Trip: Day Three & Four (I'm Thinking of a Person).

I've spent the last 2 days bumming around, driving, thinking, wandering...it's been good. Oh yeah, and sleeping. Consistently. It's a wonder what that will do for a person. I swear being horizontal is one of my favourite hobbies. That, and embracing the fact that I have the sense of humour of a 12-year-old boy:Driving right before a holiday weekend is interesting. Folks seem like they have left their brains at home, the police are out in full force, and the roads are flooded with RV's...so I opted to hug the slow lane and take it all in:The only thing better than this is the pussy wagon: I love how each state announces itself on the interstate. I think we should do the same in Canada. It would be so much more fun than those boring brown and white signs:
The only part about this trip that kind of sucked was that I had nobody to make jokes with while I was driving. I ended up taking pictures and tweeting them to Scott instead. Normally we'd both start yelling out a string of fast food items when we drive under an overpass like this (inside joke), but since it was just me, all I did was smirk and think that if Scott was here, we'd be shouting "big mac! large fries, chocolate shake! cooooooooooooooooooke!!"):
I knew it was officially time to start heading home when I went to Target (for the second time) and I spent all my time looking at stuff for the kids and Scott. I even thought the little kids screaming with boredom while their moms shopped were endearing. Yeah...:
When I hit Kalamazoo, I ordered a pizza from Erbelli's (highly recommended by the guy at the hotel check-in). I also made myself a wine spritzer in my "Keep Calm & Carry On" mug that Jennifer got me for my birthday. Hey, I'm all class:
The perfect end to this day was Orlando losing to Boston in the Eastern conference final. So long Vince Carter! Looks good on ya! I'm looking forward to an NBA final of competitive basketball! Go Boston! Tomorrow - home! I miss my family. That's a good thing.

Road Trip: Day Two (Is That You In There?).

I left Chelsea at the crack of 10, and pointed my car towards Chicago. It was a fairly easy drive, except for my full bladder and the unexpected traffic right at the end. Oof! If I was a guy, I would have totally peed in my vitamin water bottle. Thankfully for the folks stalled in traffic next to me, I'm not and I didn't. Once I located my desired target - Quiltology - I suddenly realized that I was really hungry, and still needed to go to the washroom. Lucky for me, Edwardo's Natural Pizza Restaurant was close by, and being in Chicago, there is a certain expectation that one is going to have pizza, right? I asked my friendly waiter Mike what was so famous about their pizza, and he informed me that it was the stuffed crust. Turns out, you can get it stuffed with cheese, spinach or sausage, but Mike's favourite was spinach, topped with sausage and mushroom. Done and done. And a beer please and thank you. Hey, it was hot out and I was thirsty! Mike and I shot the shit about health care, the pros and cons of the Canadian system, and then my pizza came. And it was magnificent. I ate all of it.
Once I was done stuffing my face, I headed down the street to Quiltology, a quilting shop I have been wanting to visit for ages (actually, for about 5 days - that's when I started researching my trip). All I can really say is it is a good thing that I don't live in Chicago, because I would have to harass the owners night and day until they hired me to work there. The fabrics are stunning, prices are great, and the kits...the kits make me want to hole up with my sewing machine and piece until my sewing machine bites the dust. Susan, who works at Quiltology, helped me pick out fabric for the 3 baby boy quilts I have on my roster. She has a great eye for colour and was enthusiastic about my requests for fun and bright fabrics. I don't think she wanted me to take her picture, but she relented (reluctantly).
Look at the front window! Don't you just want to get a cup of tea and a good magazine and sit and people watch all day? Me too...
While Susan cut my fabric for me I wandered around and lusted after all of the patterns, books, kits and quilts on display. I behaved myself though, reminding myself that if I bought too much fabric I wouldn't have an excuse to come back for a long time. That's no good - Jennifer and my mom definitely need me to personally introduce them to this shop!
I didn't get a very clear picture of this pink and red lion they had on display, but it vibrates when you squeeze its paw and it is super soft. Unfortunately it wasn't for sale. Not even when I told her how much Max would like it. Ah well.
Once I was done at Quiltology, I hopped back into my car for what I thought would be an easy drive to the Hyatt Regency in downtown Chicago. Turns out that all those bridges and tall skyscrapers are not so GPS friendly. As in, my tomtom was telling me to drive the wrong way on one way streets and had me driving in circles. I had to kick it old school and pull over and get directions. Yay communicating with real human beings (#technology #fail)! Thank gawd I didn't have screaming kids in the car! I finally checked in, had a bath, and then headed out to Trader Joe's. Getting my America on full throttle!!
Upon my return to my room, stocked up with my favourite lavendar hand wash, I flipped the tv on and low and behold, the movie Sex In the City was on! Except it's the 4:3 version forced into widescreen mode, so all those skinny bitches look like they have fat arms. Hah! Love it. Time for another bath, and then sleep.

Road Trip: Day One (of Finding My Way Back to Me).

Depending on how often you read my blog, or how well you know me, you may have figured out how down I've been lately. I started to really worry when I came to the realization that overall, things are getting better, but I'm feeling worse. I went to the doctor to see if he could help me out, figuring maybe my vitamin B was low, or he could prescribe something to help me get some sleep. I pulled myself together, did my hair, makeup, made myself look good, or so I thought...he listened to what I had to say, and told me I looked exhausted. That I was suffering from complete burn out. That I was treating Max's Autism like it was a sprint, not a marathon, and that I had been doing that for two years, ever since we suspected something was up with Max. He also said that while I thought I was being selfless by trying to take responsibility for directing all of Max's therapy myself, I was being incredibly selfish and making a tactical error. I hadn't thought of it that way, but he is right. If I crack, and let myself get to the point of a breakdown, that doesn't help anyone, especially not my family.

So, Scott and I had a heart-to-heart, he took a week off work to watch the kids, and I hit the road, hoping to rest and get some time to remember what makes me happy, external to my family. I did some research on quilting stores, loosely mapped out a plan (give or take where the wind blows me) and pointed my car south.

First stop: a small quilting store in Jackson, Michigan named Regalitos Quilting. They are currently getting a new site up. The owner Cindie specializes in long arm quilting and she even demonstrated how it works for me! She is a total sweetheart, and it was nice to talk with an experienced quilter (my people!).
I spotted this beautiful Christmas tree skirt laid out on the table, and commented on how much I liked it. It turns out Cindie had a kit made up, so you guessed it, I couldn't leave it there. And yes, I know that it is May and Christmas is 7 months away. But maybe that's a good sign...I used to love Christmas, and the past few years, I haven't been into it at all.This beautiful quilt on display (which Cindie made) is on sale for $600. Just so you know, that barely covers the cost of the fabric! This is why you quilt for love and not money.After visiting with Cindie, I stumbled upon a Mexican restaurant named Los Tres Amigos (careful - the site has music). The waitress twisted my arm and made me order a margarita. She even ID'd me (bless her heart). I ordered the burrito/enchilada combo, read the latest Vanity Fair magazine, all the while being serenaded by JLo in Spanish. Awesome.I closed the day out by going to Target (they sell wine there!!), then checked into the hotel. When I turned the tv on, an episode of The Gilmore Girls was playing (so perfect). Bath, pjs, 24 finale, quilting, Glee, Parenthood, and of course blogging. Tomorrow? Chicago!