Friday, October 21, 2005

Hot air enemas for all.

I am an awful little beast
Every year around this time, two things happen:

1. The furnace kicks on, signifying that Fall is really upon us (three cheers for Fall!).
2. Bossa takes her rightful place on top of the floor vent, months of hot air enemas ahead for her enjoyment.

Scott took this picture of Bossa this morning. It is a good photo, because she is only sitting on the vent. Once she lays her mammoth self down, she covers the entire vent so you can't even see it. This leads to conversations like "in theory, it would have made sense for the builder to put a vent in this room, but I can't find one" or "didn't there used to be a vent in this room?". These words fall on deaf cat ears though as Bossa merely looks at you like "I know you love giving money to the gas company to keep me comfortable". Too bad the rest of the room remains freezing just so she can be a fur heating pad. Bossa, one day we will install a gas fireplace in the family room, just for you. And you can lay in front of it and roast your insides until they are crisp. A vision, really.

Samba is much more sensitive to the needs of others in the household. She simply huddles over the vent (picture the Little Match Girl warming her hands by the fire). It is very sweet, and I would post a picture if I had one but she is a bit harder to catch in action. One would think that we were heating our home at just above slightly above freezing, but no, I have the thermostat programmed at 21 degrees during the times we are home and 17 degrees when we are at work/asleep. Seems reasonable to me, but Bossa and Samba are giving me a guilt complex about the whole thing. I guess this is retribution for all the times I complained about the heat as a kid. If I could I'd tell both these cats to "put a sweater on for chrissake".

I'm getting old.

15 comments:

  1. Dude, your cat looks like she's going to shoot laser beams from her eyes and eat you whole. I would keep your bedroom door locked.

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  2. Okay I swear that wasn't a tit for tat comment. I was posting that as you were posting on mine. Creeeeepy. Hey, do you have a giant bottle of red wine in your backpack too?

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  3. Anonymous7:19 PM

    OMG, MV, I was totally reading YOUR blog when Kat told me that you had commented on HER blog. Where does it stop. AAAAHHHHHH!

    Sorry, I have acute bronchitis and the only thing that will stop my coughing these days is rye and Coke. I am generally half-drunk within 15 minutes of getting home from work these days.

    Scott

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  4. Lol - too funny.

    Not only do we not let her in our bedroom, we don't even let her on the second floor (lest she kill us or Samba while we sleep). Seriously, we installed a baby gate at the top of the stairs and since she is such a pie wagon she can't jump over it. She really is a hateful little beast.

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  5. Pie Wagon. I am so going to call someone that on Monday as if I had made it up.

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  6. Anonymous7:51 PM

    Those eyes! Did you do something in photoshop to those kitty peepers? Wow.

    mb

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  7. I think that was just the flash, and the enormous amount of hate she has welled up inside of her.

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  8. Wow. I read the comments on the eyes and I noticed after a bit: they aren't reflecting the way most cat's eyes do. This deep blue hue. I imagine they were possibly pulsating.

    I second the motion to commence use of the term "pie wagon" as much as possible. I spit water through my nose reading that one. :)

    Speck relies on water-fuelled heat and cold devices (radiators for heat, toilet base for cold.) It keeps me on my toes as far as keeping my place (and Speck) clean.

    Three cheers for fall!

    ad

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  9. I am going to venture outside the house today just so I can use the term "pie wagon".

    Wait until you see your cat's eyes when you turn the gas fireplace off after she has been stewing her insides next to it for several hours. Let me tell you, cats sure do love to broil themselves and man, are they pissed you shut down the flames. In the winters I joke, somewhat mistastefully, that we are having roast Claddagh (the cat) for dinner.

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  10. I bet that cat likes lasagna and doesn't do mondays.

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  11. Jalen also drapes himself across the floor vents a la Superman, but alas, our new apartment has the wall vents.
    Not sure how he's going to deal with that one...

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  12. Cute post :) When I lived in Michigan we had floor vents like this. The cats were always laying on them.

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  13. Bossa is QUITE attractive I must say. Not as fat as the snake either but no skinnypants. Speaking of AP, good for you that you are drunk within 15 minutes of getting home from work. You girls make me wish I lived back east.

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  14. Damn I misrad again..It wasn't AP getting drunk within 15 minutes of getting home it was some anonymopus fuck. Well, that being said, I bet she has been drunk within 15 minutes of getting home before.

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  15. Can I even type ? Jeezus, what is with the mistyping..sorry..all hopped up on the bean this am.

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