Little baby Max - you turned one month old yesterday. I would have posted this on your actual one month birthday, but I was too busy kissing your little cheeks and playing with your toes to sit down at the computer. It is hard to believe that it has been a full month since we met - it feels like it was only yesterday. Your dad says that it definitely feels like a full month (at least!) but for me it has been a blur. You are starting to get more alert now and while you aren't ready to play with your toys, you are very interested in what is going on around you (especially lights and the Happy Cat picture). When you look at me with your big soulful eyes, my heart swells (and my boobs ache). Your lusty wails when you are hungry make me smile a bit - you are very serious when it comes to your dinner - and your dad and I can't help but laugh when you root around his chest, confused as to why he has no food for you.
Our lives have changed forever now, and we would never go back. Life is a bit slower, and I have fewer expectations of what I can get done in a day - "to do" lists are one item long and they consist of "enjoy your baby". You are so beautiful and innocent, I just can't get enough of you. It breaks your dad's heart to go to work everyday because he just wants to be with you all day, every day. You are growing and developing so fast, I swear you have new baby chubs every day. It's a good thing we have some 3 - 6 month clothes because you are almost out of your newborn clothes.
At one month old you tipped the scales at nine pounds 7 ounces - that is almost 2 pounds higher than your birth weight. I am thrilled because we had a bit of a slow start with the breastfeeding. The best money I have spent was to get a lactation consultant to come over to the house to help us. The bond we have from breastfeeding is amazing and I am so glad I stuck it out with you (even though you can be a bit of a barracuda when we are getting you latched on sometimes). Seeing you relax and close your eyes, your little chubby hand holding onto me, makes me forget all of the challenges I went through to get to this point.
I thought I knew love before I met you, but now I know that I only had a glimmer of an understanding. True, pure, unconditional, overwhelming, all-encompassing love, that is the love I have for you. When parents tell their children free friends that "there is nothing like it" they are absolutely right. And there really are no words to describe the way my heart swells every time I look at you. You have so many people in your life that love you, all little boys should be so lucky. I can't wait to see what this next month will bring.
Love,
Mom (aka "the titty lady")
Jesus Christ, lover of my soul!!!
ReplyDeleteONE MONTH ALREADY!!! Wow. This means I've been rowing the ship too damn long and burning myself out. Ugh.
I'm so proud of this little one. He's so sweet. I liked him as soon as I saw his picture with his blue hat. GANGSTA BABY!
Ha ha...look at that phone picture! "Dang! Who you talkin' to, Mama?" :o)
Your line about Scott's heart breaking because he has to go to work... you made me bawl. Seriously.
Kat, I miss my father more than I can bear. I remember a few years ago my mom was going through some papers and found some cards from my first birthday. Tucked away was pages from my dad's daytimer, for the date "July 28, 1981". He wrote "a star is born.... the most meaningful thing in my life." I remember him telling me the same thing Scott is going through.
Trust me, when Max gets old enough and moves out...he's going to miss Mom and Dad as much as you'll miss him.
I'm a living testimony. :o(
So sweet, Kat. You are making a wonderful Mommy, I can tell.
ReplyDelete(And, yes, I'd love to take pics of babies! Now if I could just get up to Canada!) :)
Wow, I can't believe it has already been a month ! He is so precious and I love that picture of him and Scott. Glad the nursing is going better. How are you physically feeling after a month of being home ? Other than sore boobies, that's a given I'm sure..lol
ReplyDeleteTime flies, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteWonderful entry - as a mom-to-be at the end of this year, I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of it all, and this blog entry made me feel better!
Holly