Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Week 1: The Adventures of Mommyhood.

Max is not sure what he thinks about this whole bath thing.We've made it through our first week as a family of three and lived to tell about it. So far so good, I think anyway. The toughest part is probably getting sleep in small increments when you can instead of big blocks. Funny, even when I'm tired and it's 4am and Max is wide awake, I am happy. I am just trying to drink it all in - I feel like he's growing so fast and I might miss something.

We have mastered the art of changing poopy diapers, gotten peed on several times, become experts at doing many things with only one free hand and managed to shower every day except for one. The thing that has been the toughest for me is the breastfeeding. Apparently women that are fair skinned have the most sensitive skin and I can attest to that. Max is a good eater, and oh my goodness he has worked me raw. I am doing my best to work through it, making sure he is getting a good latch, that I am positioning him right, airing the "sisters" out when I get a chance (quite a sight really), and applying Purelan and glycerin pads between feedings. But still, holy shit, when you have a little boy eating for 40 minutes a go every 2 - 3 hours, it is hard to heal. I love that he is gaining weight and filling out like a champ and that is what makes it worth it, but don't kid, breastfeeding is hard.
Flashing lights and baby music, oh my.Now that things have settled down, it's interesting to observe my hormones come into play. The day Max was born, I didn't cry. Scott cried, Jennifer cried, but I think I was too "medicated" and likely in shock/overwhelmed to let go. So, on Sunday night, I was up in our bedroom holding Max in my arms, just looking at his beautiful face and out of nowhere I started bawling. It wasn't an ugly cry, but it was a good one nonetheless. All of a sudden I felt the responsibility to protect him from the world, and saw his vulnerability, how it really is all on me to make sure he is okay, and that even when I think it isn't possible, I have more love in my heart for him. I want so badly to be a good mom, and there is so much to learn. I hope he is patient with me, I'm definitely a work in progress.

11 comments:

  1. I love the hooded towel picture!

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  2. 5:10am! Lol - I know a new mommy when I see one.

    We were just happy he didn't scream through the entire bath ;)

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  3. Awww, he's adorable! I hope the breastfeeding gets less painful for you.

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  4. It's always worth getting ahold of someone from La Leche League to come in to make sure he is latching right. I was like you with Kiana, in a lot of discomfort, until my mom's friend a L.L.L leader came over and made a slight adjustment for me with the latch and voila! no more pain at all! He is adorable!

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  5. Good idea Misse. I just left the leader of the Oakville group a message. I am also going back to the breastfeeding clinic at the hospital tomorrow. One way or another we will sort it out!

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  6. Sorry to hear your boobies are sore. I'm worried about all of that happening to me. I don't know why it frightens me so. I also cannot see myself BF in public. Then again, three yearsa go, I would have thrown my drink at you if you told me I was going to be married, pregnant and living in a small town in CANADA.

    Max is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute.

    Big ultrasound tomorrow for me..hoping doc will slip and tell us what it is although Steve doesn't want to know.

    Thanks for sharing your experience though, good or bad. Very curious I am.

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  7. Ahhh! Lovely post.

    Every day I look at Charlotte and I realize that I love her even more than the day before - which doesn't seem possible. There are moments, like first thing in the morning when I go in to pick her up out of her crib, when I feel like my heart is literally going to burst with love right out of my chest. It's impossible to imagine or describe how raw and emotional the journey of motherhood is.

    Enjoy and keep us "posted" on how the breastfeeding is going. As a fair skinned red-head, I know your pain! It does get better as they master the latch and you toughen up, at least it did for me. Hopefully the LLL will have some good advice for you.

    Take care!

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  8. I am fair skinned and every one of my babies made me sore, raw and cracked. A good latch is good, but (and i'm sorry), it just takes time to toughen up your nipples.

    He's beautiful. I really miss that middle of the night bliss.

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  9. Anonymous8:30 AM

    I love the first picture of him, with the towel! How can you NOT feel overwhelming love?!

    Hope your second week of motherhood has been going well!

    m.

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  10. I went through the same thing with my nipples at first, it was pure torture. But now at 4 weeks, the nursing has gotten 100 times better and my nips are barely sore at all! I also read to try to get some sun on your breasts for a few minutes a day to help with the soreness, you should see me topless on my back porch after nursing! heehee!

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  11. Thanks for all of the support and information on your own experiences - it makes me feel better in that I know I'm not alone in my soreness and not a total failure. I ended up renting a double pump and have been giving the girls a rest until they heal. I also got a prescription ointment to speed the recovery along. I'm hoping to get him back on the boob by Monday or Tuesday.

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