dirty little secrets.

After my last post, a few people expressed concern about the fact that I divulged that I suffer from depression and I am seeking medical treatment for it, in such a public forum. Will future employers google me and find out and not want to hire me? Maybe. Would I want to work for an employer that found my willingness to be open and candid as a sign of weakness? Not on your life. Not talking about depression gives it power. Being ashamed of something that is not my fault is exhausting.

One of my favourite women in the world is research professor Brené Brown, who I had the pleasure of meeting in Nashville last year. On the hard days, I remember her words "Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light". I have a lot of light, I just have to let it out. It's hard work, diving into the ugly stuff. But that hard work, it won't last forever. The potential of what's to come makes it worth it.

And I finally did get to meet with the doctor to discuss my medication (thankfully in the outpatient clinic and not in the psych ward). Our first step? Reduce my meds and a referral to a therapist. I'll see him again in a few weeks to see how I'm doing from a medication standpoint. I can't be ashamed of being depressed any longer. I can only be proud that I'm standing up and taking it on in a way that empowers me and others.