Monday, June 13, 2005

Suck My Left One.

Andy Roddick is a fucking moronSummer babe related difficulties continue...there is something about sitting on the deck, drinking Scott's famous margarita's with friends that just saps the blogging inspiration right out of me. It isn't that there haven't been any "I'm so blogging this" type of moments, because there have, but the thoughts are fleeting and by the time I actually sit down at my computer, I'm all, what was I going to blog about again? But not to disappoint, I do have an update on my kitties for you.

Date/Time: Saturday - 10:30AM
Scene: Scott, me, Samba at our vet's office
Samba has this bald patch on her right hind leg and I have managed to convince myself that she must have feline leukemia or some other horrible condition.
Results: $56.00 later we learned that Samba is just really stressed out and she is coping with her stress by licking her back leg obsessively - so much that there is no more hair left. She has also done this to the inner part of both her front legs. We were given the choice of some cream that tastes bad to deter her from licking herself in the affected areas, kitty Paxil to help her chill out, or we could remove the stressor.

What is the stressor you ask?
Bossa. Bossa is the stressor. Our big fat bitch of a cat tries to catch and/or kill Samba on a daily basis. Apparently, this stresses Samba out. Go figure.

Date/Time: Saturday - 1:30pm
Scott and me in the baby department of Sears
Reason: We have decided to the best way to remove the stressor from Samba's life (Bossa chasing her) is to have a baby so that Bossa will be distracted by the screaming antics of a 1 month old. Just kidding. That would be a bad reason to have a baby. We have decided to purchase a baby gate (on sale for $29) to put at the top of our stairs to keep Bossa off the 2nd floor of our house so Samba can live in peace. I installed the baby gate when we got home. So, we'll see if Samba (who is cute, but not that smart) figures out that she doesn't have to fear that at any moment she will be chased under the bed and cornered at random. Also interesting will be how long it takes Bossa to retaliate by pooping in our entry way as per her typical method of self-expression.

Total cost: $85
Samba's mental health: Priceless


  1. Have you ever read the Stuart McLean story "Toilet Training the Cat"? It is about a cat who is stressed out and therefore "overgrooming" so to occupy the cat the dad of the family decided to train her to use (and flush!) the toilet. Many problems ensue. I recommend this story to add some levity to the Samba situation, not as a suggestion of something you should actually try!


  2. Anonymous6:22 p.m.

    I have someone I work with who might also best be described as a big fat bitch of a cat. Would a babygate safe me from any possible contact? Sure would ease my stress levels.

  3. As a warning to Jennifer - Don't mention Stuart to Scott. I believe he still has some residual jealousy surrounding Stuart's praise of my steller vegetable drought story ;)

  4. Stephanie,

    I'll try to remember not to bring up the dashing Mr. McLean when if I am in your husband's company. This vegetable drought story sounds intriguing!


  5. Funny story, but so familiar. If you place a baby gate at the top of the stairs, the cats "usually" won't jump over it. That's been my experience anyway. Since they are on a lower step it's a much higher unstable jump...if they are above it, the jump below is also unbalanced. Does that make sense??
    I have one to our bedroom that is actually from a "pet-catalog" and it opens like a gate and is made of wood. It's actually to keep the dog off the bed, my cats won't jump over that either. Not sure why.

  6. Anonymous4:25 p.m.

    For the record, I have no hard feelings toward Stuart. He did give me an "A" in his broadcasting class even though I obviously wasn't one of his favorites (being male and all).

    And we have nothing to worry about as far as Bossa jumping over the gate. She's fat and old. I think Tractor Traylor has more hops than her (that was for Big N).


  7. Dude, that doesn't EVEN come close to what we just spend on Cambridge for her surgery! But, we love her, so we had to do it! We bought a baby gate too, so that we could isolate her to the living room and monitor her (we have to keep her from jumping or running and from licking her sutured wound). She's getting better day by day, though.

  8. VW - is she feeling better?