Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Tap, tap, is this thing on?

My 7.5 year old computer is on its last legs. I can't get mad about this as it really has put in its time, but it is a bit annoying to have to share (gasp!) Scott's computer with him. Good thing he is planning on getting a new computer soon so I can inherit his. That's how things work in our house, Scott gets something shiny and new, and I inherit his leftovers. It's kind of like being the second born I guess?

I've had a few thoughts about things I would blog about promptly, if my computer were not moaning and whirring and sounding like it may just combust on the spot. There has been some shit going on lately, so here is my take on the last week:

1. Michael Jackson verdict - this guy is seriously, seriously damaged goods. I don't know know if he actually molested that kid, but certainly his definition of appropriate behaviour is not normal. I'm thinking that not everything he has done is above board, that the mom of this kid is an opportunist, and that moving forward, MJ should probably stay away from kids. Kudos for Commie Haberdasher for calling it though - she said America would never put Michael in jail and she was right.

2. Tom and Katie - so, uh, do you think the whole getting engaged thing coinciding with the release of the new Batman movie was a coincidence? Doesn't he look like her dad? When I hear things like the movie industry is in a total slump, down something like 12 weeks in a row from last year's ticket sales, it makes me think that not only are these 2 putting on a show to boost their own careers, the studios are also creating these couples to boost box office sales. Fucking gross. Gross!! And I love that nobody is buying it, not even for a minute. And it just makes them force it more and try harder. In case anyone was wondering about how they are both popping up all over the place on magazine covers...these covers are planned/shot months and months in advance. If you think this hasn't been in the works since before Christmas you are sadly mistaken. Even sadder, Katie wasn't even his first choice. Reports have it that Jessica Alba and Kate Bosworth were the #1 and #2 choices for Tom (offers went out to date/marry the guy) and they turned it down. Think about it - all of these ladies are young, beautiful, have big movies coming out. A match made in heaven. Wrong on so many levels...what people won't do to be famous, eh?

Monday, June 13, 2005

Suck My Left One.

Andy Roddick is a fucking moronSummer babe related difficulties continue...there is something about sitting on the deck, drinking Scott's famous margarita's with friends that just saps the blogging inspiration right out of me. It isn't that there haven't been any "I'm so blogging this" type of moments, because there have, but the thoughts are fleeting and by the time I actually sit down at my computer, I'm all, what was I going to blog about again? But not to disappoint, I do have an update on my kitties for you.

Date/Time: Saturday - 10:30AM
Scene: Scott, me, Samba at our vet's office
Reason:
Samba has this bald patch on her right hind leg and I have managed to convince myself that she must have feline leukemia or some other horrible condition.
Results: $56.00 later we learned that Samba is just really stressed out and she is coping with her stress by licking her back leg obsessively - so much that there is no more hair left. She has also done this to the inner part of both her front legs. We were given the choice of some cream that tastes bad to deter her from licking herself in the affected areas, kitty Paxil to help her chill out, or we could remove the stressor.

What is the stressor you ask?
Bossa. Bossa is the stressor. Our big fat bitch of a cat tries to catch and/or kill Samba on a daily basis. Apparently, this stresses Samba out. Go figure.

Solution:
Date/Time: Saturday - 1:30pm
Scene:
Scott and me in the baby department of Sears
Reason: We have decided to the best way to remove the stressor from Samba's life (Bossa chasing her) is to have a baby so that Bossa will be distracted by the screaming antics of a 1 month old. Just kidding. That would be a bad reason to have a baby. We have decided to purchase a baby gate (on sale for $29) to put at the top of our stairs to keep Bossa off the 2nd floor of our house so Samba can live in peace. I installed the baby gate when we got home. So, we'll see if Samba (who is cute, but not that smart) figures out that she doesn't have to fear that at any moment she will be chased under the bed and cornered at random. Also interesting will be how long it takes Bossa to retaliate by pooping in our entry way as per her typical method of self-expression.

Total cost: $85
Samba's mental health: Priceless

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Summer-babe related difficulties.

beautiful bitchezSo, I am feeling so uncreative right now, that I stole that title straight out of the Mincemeat Vixen's blog...and according to Jennifer, that's a straight rip from Pavement. Yeah, I know, I'm a bad person. Seriously though, this hot weather is making me a bit mental, unmotivated, and generally lazy. I predict this will end some time in mid September when the weather returns to shit.

So, summer thoughts....

Has anyone else noticed that people who drive 300 series BMWs drive like assholes? They must be making up for their small dinks.

Dinks is such an insulting term for penis's, ain't it? Love that.

I just found out on Friday that someone in a position of power in my life drives...wait for it...a green mini-van. This is unsurprisingly fitting, given the person.

I am such a bad friend, that my bestfriend wrote me an email today asking why I wasn't returning her calls and was I pissed at her. Hardly...I think I was passed out on Sunday when she called me...note to self...again...on the consumption of white wine in the sun.

Jessica Alba just really needs to pose for Playboy already. Love that.

Summer love or lust or whatever is short, intense and fleeting. Don't miss that.

I told Christopherr that the NBA finals would be San Antonio vs. Detroit and he was all "No way, it's gonna be Phoenix vs. Miami". WRONG. San Antonio will win it in 6 games. Thanks for coming out. While he is rooting for the Spurs, I am all about Detroit, even though Larry Brown is an ass-hat.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Drop it like it's hott.

Now, that's HOTT!Some weeks are so jam packed with action you know you will need the next week to recover. The combination of the beautiful weather and lack of anything worth watching on TV has pulled me out of my shell and kicked any remaining winter blues to the curb.

Sunday - Scott and I went and checked out our good friend Alex's band The Free Press at the Rivoli. Gotta be honest, I was a little nervous about hearing them because I wasn't sure what I would say if they sucked. Good news, not only did they not suck, they were really excellent. Great vocals (all of these guys can sing), tight playing, and I'll be damned if they didn't rock their asses off - on a Sunday night to boot.

Monday - A bit of a right off (pretty standard for Mondays...)

Tuesday - Scott was on the radio (his star is rising folks and I am all about grabbing onto those coattails). I visited my friend Alana and checked out her new house, kickass flooring and all.

Wednesday - We met up with our crazy and bodacious friends Brandie and Vera at Fionn MacCool's for a comedy show. Comedy show didn't end up starting until way late, so we bailed before it got underway, but it was terrific to get caught up with them. They threw my bachelorette party last August and I am still recovering. It is a good thing I was too inebriated to remember half the stuff I did...I'm sure it would make me blush.

Thursday - Low key night for me, I watched the Miami/Detroit game (GO PISTONS!), Scott played darts with his buddy Michael.

Friday
- Low key night for both of us - I drank half a glass of wine and then passed out on the couch while Scott watched his new Dave Chappelle Season 2 dvd and woke me up with his explosive hooting and hollering.

Saturday - Just about to go to lunch with the family and then over to our friends Dave and Jen to test out their brand spankin' new bbq....gotta love summer.