reverb 10: day 15.

day 15: 5 minutes

(imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010)

The most rewarding things for me this year were watching my children's personalities develop and observing their relationship develop from siblings into playmates, to (dare I say) friends. 

As Max's vocabulary has increased, he is a happier kid.  He can request whatever he wants verbally.  At the beginning of the year he could ask for "apple" and "milk".  Yesterday he asked me for "cinnamon toast". 


January 2010: at the grocery store, labelling everything under the sun



April 2010: peekaboo, I see you



April 2010: baking with Aunt Jenny

Cameron started out the year as an agreeable baby girl. She is no longer a baby and has the attitude and opinions to prove it.

December 2010: Here comes trouble.

 

April 2010: friends forever



September 2010: Taking over Mom and Dad's room for a sleepover.



reverb 10, days 10-14.

yes, I know this is blurry as hell (shot with my bberry, not my nikon!)

First off, where the heck has December gone so damn fast? I see some late night quilting coming my way over the next few days.  Ack! Second - I am a bit behind on my Reverb posts, so this one is sort of a catch up summary. 

day 10: wisdom
(what was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?)

This one is going to see kind of strange, coming from a mom, but I decided to put myself first.  That's not to say that my kids aren't an absolute priority for me, and that my husband isn't high on the totem pole as well.  But for too long, not only was I at the bottom of the list of things that I needed to take care of - a lot of the time, I didn't even make the list.  By allowing that to happen I put myself on the road to falling apart, which helps nobody.  At this point, I'm focusing on taking care of me, with the knowledge that if I am happy and healthy and strong (see picture above), everyone benefits as there is more of me to go around. 

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day 11: things
(what are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? how will you go about eliminating them? how will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?)

clutter - my garage is packed with crap that needs to get thrown out, as is my basement.  By clearing out the clutter I will have more room in my house and more space.

magazines - seriously, I buy these things, flip through them once and then they land in the recycling bin.  Not worth $5 at all (that could buy me a grand latte!

cinnamon buns - every time I eat them I feel like garbage.  I know better. 

dairy queen blizzards - see cinnamon buns (but x 10)

takers - you know who I'm talking about - folks who lean on you and are never there to be leaned on.  Out you go!

debbie downers - I'm trying to focus on the good things in life, pessimists stay away.

diet coke - this stuff makes me gassy and bloated and really doesn't taste all that good.  diet coke, I need to quit you. 

self-help books - I buy them and then never read them - not too helpful!

oprah - talk about a waste of an hour - good thing she's going off the air!

clothes that don't fit - too big, too small, why do I keep them? I don't really need the reminder either way.

unsexy underwear - not flattering and don't make me feel like a million bucks? I should have dumped you a long time ago.  Life is too short to wear grandma panties.

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day 12: body integration
(this year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present)

I had a moment this past November, where I totally broke down and sobbed my eyes out.  Big ugly cry.  In a parking lot.  Add to that it was pouring rain.  Hey, I have a flare for drama.  It was raw and real and it hurt.  I felt like I was going to break in half from all the pain breaking free.  Not a positive moment like one would be proud to mention, but the most honest one.

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day 13: action
(when it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. it’s about making ideas happen. what’s your next step?)
I am putting myself out there as a writer, blogger, social media expert and telling the universe what I want to do with my life.  When I get "no" as an answer, I'm not letting it get me down.  It's just fuel to the fire to keep trying, to keep going for it.  Something great is around the bend, I just have to be ready for it.

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day 14: appreciate
(what’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? how do you express gratitude for it?)

My health. Your health.  Every day that I wake up and put my feet on the floor I am thankful.  Every day I have with my family, I am thankful.  Health and time are the only things we have of true value that have expiry dates.  We all take them for granted.

reverb 10, days 7, 8 & 9.

baby it's cold outside

day 7: community

(where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? what community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?)

This year, the community that has embraced me and I have embraced back, wholeheartedly, is all of the inspiring women in my life.  They have been my support network when I have been down.  They have reminded me that I am worthy.  They have inspired me to keep on keepin' on.  They have encouraged me to explore new things and rediscover past loves.  I am blessed to be surrounded by such a tremendous group of ladies, in real life and online.  This coming year I would like to continue connecting with them and be introduced to even more women who are following their dreams and living authentically.  The beauty of this community is that it has an enormous population!

day 8: beautifully different

(think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.)

People often tell me that they think I'm very funny.  I find this interesting, as I am never trying to entertain or amuse, I am merely sharing my observation on what this crazy world is throwing my way on any given day.  What I believe to be unique about myself is my candor, or over sharing, depending on how you see it.  As I get older, I am more comfortable being open about my strengths, weaknesses and screw ups.  I figure if telling my story helps me work through the stuff bouncing around in my brain while also letting someone else know they aren't the only person who is experiencing something, then that is a good thing.  Whether or not that makes me beautiful, I don't know. 

day 9: party

(what social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.)
This one is easy.  Cathy and Gord's wedding.  We got to spend a weekend away at a lodge (first time we did that since we had kids) and our whole group of university friends were there as well (sans kids).  Nobody had to drive anywhere so we were all able to fully enjoy the festivities (and by that I mean booze it up).  We were all dressed 2 the 9's, and there was dancing.  Was there ever.  I believe the plan is to try to do this again next year (without the wedding part).  Here's hoping it happens!

reverb 10, day 6.

day 6: make.
(what was the last thing you made? what materials did you use? is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?)

The last thing I made was a quilt. Shocking, I know.  I used 100% cotton quilting fabric by Basic Grey (from their Origins collection).  Bright, bold colours that were out of my comfort zone.  I am happiest when I am creating something from nothing.  With quilting you start with a tiny scrap of fabric and from there you add onto it piece by piece, strip by strip.  When it is completed you have created a work of art.  Always an original, an expression of your love for whoever you give it to (if you are able to part with it).

My quilt on display at the Oakville Sewing Centre!

I always want to make more quilts and wish there were more hours in the day for me to squeeze in more time at my sewing machine.  I currently have several tree skirts on the go, and I definitely need to eek out some time this week to finish them off so I can pop them in the mail on time for Christmas.

reverb 10, days 4 & 5.

day 4: wonder.
(how did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

In the quiet moments, when I get a chance to sit back and watch my children, I am inspired by how they are amazed by every new thing they stumble upon.  Things I have long taken for granted, that don't even register with me are head turners for them.  Dogs and flowers and pebbles and snails on the sidewalk after the rain - these all merit stopping in their little tracks and having an in depth discussion on whether or not that dog is a nice dog, why don't those flowers smell nice, this pebble is super shiny and uh oh I stepped on that snail, do you think it will be okay?  As much as I blame my kids on the grey hair I assume I have under all my blond highlights, they truly do keep me young at heart and remind me that there is wonder to be found everywhere.

day 5: let go.
(what (or whom) did you let go of this year? why?)

By no means do I have this perfected, but I am working on letting go of worrying about things that are out of my control. That, and trying to be perfect. For a control freak who likes things to be perfect, those are tall orders. But I'm working on them and I think I'm getting better at not trying to control the universe. Today anyway. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

reverb 10, days 1, 2 and 3.

Once again, I'm a little late to the party (but we all know it's better to show up once everyone else has arrived so you can make a proper entrance).  The party? Reverb 10.  The deal? Basically, every day for the month of December I'll reflect on this past year and send out reverberations for the year ahead.  So, all sorts of navel gazing and being up my own ass.  But isn't that what blogging is mostly about anyway?  I certainly like to think so.  Though, you know, it's also a terrific way to advocate for stuff that is really important to you and show off how gorgeous your kids are. 


day 1: one word.
(encapsulate the year 2010 in one word.)

rediscover. 
I selected this word, not because of the rediscover your wonder project I've been participating in, but because this year has been one of self-rediscovery.  I started this year at one of the lowest points I have ever been.  Through a lot of hard work, time, healing, forgiveness, loving, medication and breathing deeply I feel like I am finally starting to squeeze my way out of this cocoon of protective armour.  I'm not there yet, but I can feel the freedom of shedding this sadness that has been weighing me down.  The me that loves to laugh and create and spread joy is starting to emerge and I am tempted to say "hey lady - I've MISSED you!!".

day 2: writing.
(what do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?)

negative self-talk.
The moment something goes wrong or falls apart, I immediately blame myself and think "what could I have done differently to avoid this".  I know that's a bunch of hooey and I should cut that out.  It's an easy role to slip into.  Self-flagellation is a waste of time  and indulgent (if I am hard on myself then I beat you to it and I win!?!).  Wait...what?  At any rate, it certainly doesn't help me write.  If anything, it makes me want to get back in bed and pull the covers over my head.  Whether I can completely eliminate it or not is still to be determined (it hurts so good, you know).

day 3: moment.
(pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year.)

rock climbing.
It scared that sh!t out of me.  I didn't know if I had the physical strength to do it.  I worried that I would make a complete ass of myself.  And then I did it.  I got to the top of the wall and looked down and realized that I am way stronger than I give myself credit for.  I can do anything I set my mind to.  My friends are amazing and there for me (no matter how strange my request is, be it rock climbing or belly dancing).  Most of all, the things that seem enormous when you are face to face with them are really quite small when you step back for a moment.  Even better, from way up high the people who are most important stand out.