I am a cranky cranky be-atch.

There, I said it. 12 weeks to go, and cranky preggo fever has taken full force. Seriously, if you can please me, you should win a prize as I am a humourless, hyper-emotional, bloated, breeding be-atch. Between almost breaking down in tears at my doctor's office (what DO YOU MEAN you can't do my gestational diabetes test here?!!) and scowling at the sales lady at Thyme Maternity for telling me my breasts "weren't THAT big" (yes but they weigh about 10 pounds each), I am a real treat. Poor Scott. He took this picture of me at Alana's birthday party on Saturday and I tearfully accused him of not only of lacking any photography skills whatsoever, but also suggested that he should KNOW BETTER than to take a picture of me from the side. So, no more pictures of the fat pregnant lady with multiple chins. Unless I get to select my "best side" which is likely when I am standing behind something larger than me (like an NFL linebacker or my fridge).
Anyway, I did manage to muster up some smiles for dear Alana's belated 25th birthday party on Saturday. I conned Adam, Marcy and Alana into coming to Oakville (I don't travel well with the constant need to pee) for the evening. I sweet talked Scott into making his killer lasagne, volun-told Adam to provide appetizers, and even got Alana to bring a salad (to her own birthday party nonetheless!). I am good, eh? I did actually contribute something - I made her a birthday cake from scratch. This is the first birthday cake I have EVER made from scratch (I always thought that a store bought cake or mix was just as good). Apparently I was dead wrong - while homemade may not be as pretty, it does in fact taste much better. I used this Carrot Cake recipe from Canadian Living - the only change I made was to make it a layer cake so I decreased the time to 28 minutes and increased the icing by 50%.

A few news updates:
1. If you think that 2006 is the year of the Dog, you are wrong. 2006 is the year of the baby. Please welcome Domestic Goddess & TilaBC to the group of impending mommies. Babies are the new Pink!

The watch list now includes:
Melanoma Uberalis
Domestic Goddess
Daymented
TilaBC/What Have I Done?

Anyone want to take bets on who is next? Through My Lens is turning 30 and has been making baby noises recently... Dooce has even made a few suspicious comments...guess only time will tell. 2. Bossa is now fully on the road to recovery (seen here making sweet sweet love to Marcy's purse). She is now a svelte 10.5 pounds, feeling much better, and no longer peeing outside her litter box or wiping her shit ass on our carpet (much to Scott's relief). Good thing, because we are out of money. Put it this way - we spent so much on her this past month that the vet sent us a "certificate of appreciation for taking such good care of Bossa". The fine print reads "and for paying my mortgage this month". It's not like we are trying to save our money or anything. Sigh.

My ass is gone.

Much to my dismay, I have fallen victim to "pregnant-lady-flat-butt" syndrome. Seriously, my ass is gone. I'm not really sure where it went either. It used to be a nice apple bottom, not too big, not too small, with a nice curve. But it is gone, and I am sad. Maybe it has reincarnated itself in the form of our new Prime Minister. That's got to be it. Though my ass was firmer and more useful than this doughy zealot we now call our leader. Admittedly, both have been known to be full of shit. By the way, I'm not saying my ass was as fine as the fine lady's ass in this picture (Scott wishes). But it does illustrate my point while offering you some eye candy.

It seems that the majority of my blogger friends are tremendously unhappy with the election results. I think they could have been far worse and there were some interesting outcomes. Notably, the NDP picked up some seats, Olivia Chow won in Trinity-Spadina (go Olivia!), Belinda Stronach retained her seat in Aurora, and Montreal, Toronto and Vancouver wisely blocked the Conservatives from even winning one seat in the biggest cities in Canada. How you like that Stevo? Not one of the major urban centres in Canada supports you.

This brings me to another point - the name Steve. Hope this doesn't offend anyone, but I don't think I've ever met a Steve I could trust. They have all had that used car salesmen thing going for them. That's just my personal experience mind you, and our new PM only helps me build my case. I can't stand him, he makes my skin crawl. I doubt we'll have to deal with him for more than a couple of years and hopefully he isn't able to take back same sex marriage while he is in office. As a new-mom-to-be I sure am happy about that $100 a month though - that's going to go really far towards my $800+ monthly daycare costs. Heck, maybe I should just quit my job and stay home and pop out a bunch of kids. $100 is sure a strong incentive. Not.

Is January the longest month of the year or what?

I feel like I have been checking off the days of January on my calendar for months. Seriously, the last three weeks have dragged by...and by the looks of it, there are 2 more weeks of this! Maybe it 's just that the days in general seem to be moving at a snail's pace, and with me starting to really feel uncomfortable in my own body, the minutes feel like hours...the hours go so slowly...you get the picture.

Also, I am getting old. Last weekend I watched "Hustle & Flow" and I kept thinking "my goodness, this movie is rough!". And really, it isn't that bad. I've see rougher. For some reason, this movie about a pimp and his hookers, it just didn't sit well with me. Especially the part where he makes one of his girls have sex with an electronics store owner so he can get a free microphone to record his demo. Not cool dude. The main character D-Jay was really hard to like or root for, maybe that was the main problem? Scott and I also watched "Broken Flowers". Love Bill Murray, not sure what I thought of the lack of resolution at the end of the movie. Guess that's life. Yep, I'm definitely getting old. Need more proof? I watch "Commander and Chief" every week and I LIKE it (though I dropped "West Wing" as a result).

Baby Update:
I decided that my last day of work is going to be April 12th (assuming I can make it that long without taking a vacation day). With the little guy due on April 25th, that should give me some time to get ready for him. That's assuming he doesn't come early (though my gut is telling me that he will be late - just like his dad - if anything). Yesterday, for the first time, I felt him get the hiccups. He got them again today. I think that both times, I had just eaten an orange. I'll have to watch out tomorrow to see if the consumption of oranges induces hiccups. Too funny. Good news is that the nursery furniture is ordered, the bedding is ordered, and the Penguin picture we ordered last week has arrived. One more thing - the "hotsling" (highly recommended by Stephanie) arrived as well. This little guy is already getting spoiled.

Baby Blog: 26 weeks and counting.

Goodbye second trimester, hello tired legs, swollen feet, sore back, and all of the other wonderful parts of the final 14 weeks of pregnancy. This weekend I asked Scott to help roll me out of bed. Pride has been placed firmly on the backburner. My wedding band no longer fits my swollen fingers so I look like a single woman. A knocked up single woman...I'm sure the fellas will be lining up for my phone number.

Good news is that Scott and I finished up the baby registry this past weekend. Stephanie was kind enough to look at it for me and give me the rundown on things that I should add (fun baby toys!), things that I really don't need (baby food warmer), and things she will lend us (baby swing, baby bumble seat). I figured a new mom like her would be a good person to ask as it is fresh in her mind and I figured right. We tested out a stroller to make sure that I can open and close it with one hand (check) and that the baby seat rocks when placed on the floor (check). We also finally settled on the nursery bedding, and it looks like if we have a theme, the theme is monkeys. Somewhat appropriate if you know Scott. The little guy has taken up World Cup Soccer practice in my belly - practices start at 11pm every night, in case you wanted to attend. It really is quite a spectacle, my belly lurches from side to side. I am actually reduced to "navel gazing" as I see him kick and roll around. I also managed to start clearing out the nursery (formally the empty "storage/junk" room). I made a good dent in it...more work still to come once I figure out where to put the stuff that I didn't throw out.
I was emailing with my friend Lulu this morning and I said that I can already tell that the baby is going to take after Scott. Hence my prediction that he will be born after his due date and he will be a total night owl. She said that she has noticed a trend where the first born is a lot like the father. She is a first born and she said that the older she gets, the more she realizes she is like her dad (who, turns out, "is a cool dude so it's all good"). I am not at all like my birth father, so I don't share in this experience. Just wondering if anyone else has noticed this trend? I expect our son will be a ball of energy, be smarter than his own good, have a bit of a mouth on him, and will give me a run for my money every chance he gets. Just like his dad. And Scott's folks will sit back and laugh their asses off, because they will know exactly what we are going through, having already been through it.

New law: Staple a biscotti to your jacket.

I don't much like talking politics on my blog, or in general, but I gotta say, this upcoming election has me torn. I'm going to vote, because not voting is just unacceptable. I was going to just vote based on the party, but I thought I should at least know what the candidates in Halton look like before I cast my ballot. Last election I voted Liberal, and that was mostly because the idea of Stephen Harper being Prime Minister and all the things that come with that scare the shit out of me. While I probably lean more to the left and would vote NDP in any other riding, living in Oakville, I knew there was a significant risk that the riding could go Conservative. So Liberal it was. I hated the fact that I was "voting strategically" but I did it anyway.

Little did I know that our Liberal MP Gary Carr would vote against same sex marriage. Mother fucker! So now I can't vote for him this time around. Just can't do it. And I sure as hell will not be voting for the Conservative candidate Garth Turner. So NDP it is. Anwar Naqvi, you have my vote, even if it means that I am helping Garth Turner win the riding. And for the record, I know that Garth Turner voted for same sex marriage, but I still cannot vote for the Conservatives. Not going to happen.

I know that many people have decided that they "don't support this election" so therefore they are not voting. And that is just dumb. Unless you are leaning towards voting for the Conservatives - then you can feel free to stay home. Just kidding! But for realz yo, get your ass off your couch and go vote. And for gawdsake, do a bit of research before you make up your mind. Deciding to vote Conservative just because "the Liberals have been in power for a long time, let's try someone new" is not a good enough reason to vote Conservative.

Someone told me the other day that they don't vote because they don't understand the issues and they just don't care to understand politics. I asked her if there was any issue that would be important enough to her that would get her to vote, and she looked at me blankly. So I gave some examples "for instance, if a woman's right to choose to have an abortion was at risk, would that inspire you to vote? How about if your right to choose who you wanted to marry was at risk? Or your day-to-day safety was put in jeopardy because the potential new leadership of this country is seriously considering getting fully in bed with a country who's policies invite terrorism upon themselves? Would that be enough?". She didn't get it. I secretly began to wonder if there was a new law forcing all Italians to staple a biscotti to their jacket to identify themselves, would that be enough to motivate her to vote? Probably not. But it was quite an image...this beautiful non-voting Italian woman with a piece of stale almond biscotti crumbling all over her jacket.

GO VOTE ON JANUARY 23RD!

The Patrick Dempsey scruffy factor.

Anyone else tired of all of the reruns/recaps/rehash of television shows over the holidays? Me too. I mean, why do the holidays have to interrupt my favourite television shows? Seems unfair to me, but that's not a battle I'm going to win. Since I am just about at my wits end with this tv dryspell, I decided to watch the Grey's Anatomy seasons one and two recap. I think this effort to get viewers up to speed is for their upcoming Super Bowl show (they get the time honoured Survivor spot following the big game). I didn't learn anything new about the show, but I did notice that Patrick Dempsey got increasingly sex-ay from season 1 to now. I was a bit tired, so I had a hard time pinpointing it. And then it came to me. The scruffy factor.

Scott - please stop reading now as this does not apply to you (I prefer the man I kiss to be clean shaven). To prove my point, I found a few pics of our man Patrick in various states of scruffiness. You can't really deny it. Early on in the show he was clean shaven with short hair. As his hair gets a little curlier and his 5'o-clock shadow takes over, so does he hawt factor. Also, when he is a bit stressed out with the whole living-a-lie-by-staying-with-Madison-when-he-lurves-scrawny-Meredith, he is pretty raw....and jumpable. Hey, I'm pregnant, not dead. And besides that, the 2nd trimester, it's a good time for these types of hormone-driven-lusty thoughts. At 25 weeks I have to embrace these feelings as I will soon be switching to beached whale mode.

What I want to see in the coming weeks...I need some Derek/Meredith action. I mean, he was a good guy, he tried to make it work with Madison, but there is no chemistry there. He needs to maybe start cheating on her with Meredith. Or just end it already and move on. We can't expect Kristina and Preston to keep us all satisfied for the rest of the season.

Unrelated ER note: Yeah! Abby and Luka are going to have a baby! Talk about good looking genes - woot!

Baby Blog: The honeymoon is over.

While it may be 2 more weeks until the 3rd trimester starts, let me tell you, the 2nd trimester honeymoon that you hear about? It's over. See, the theory is that the 2nd trimester is the fun time, when you no longer feel exhausted/nauseous/bloated and you aren't yet huge/sore/unable to sleep. After buying 3 pairs of "larger" pants this week, waking up every half hour because my hips ache, a new found love of all things tums/gaviscon/zantac, and my ever sexy strut/waddle I can honestly say that I am a bit worried about the next 16 weeks. I mean, it's not going to get any better until the little guy is born. In fact, it's going to get worse.

Scott has been a trooper. Over the holidays my crankiness increased 10-fold, culminating with me in tears at 4pm on Christmas day telling him "I haven't sat down since we got home and I am exhausted!". He steered me towards bed and told me to take a nap and not to worry. So I did. The other day he asked me "did you ever imagine it would be this hard?" and I told him "it's something that people tell you and you nod and think you get it because you are so focused on the end result of having a baby." But you can't possibly understand just how hard it really is until you are in it. The thing that has been really tough this week (besides coming back to work after being off for over a week) is that I wake up tired and worn out. My bones are tired. My brain is fuzzy. And I can't have any coffee to pull it all together. I also miss diet coke. A lot. I'm not proud.

Aside from all of my physical complaints, I am getting excited about the arrival of our little guy. I am going to order the nursery furniture this weekend. His room is painted, so we just need to empty it out, put some child safe blinds up and get the carpets cleaned. I even set up a baby registry at babiesrus.ca. There has been some disagreement on the theme of the room. I would like to do "lambs" and Scott, while he has no suggestions, is saying "no lambs!". His theory is that they won't have much staying power. I know, doesn't make much sense to me either, I mean, once the kid is 2 or so he will be moving into a big boy room and will be able to choose his own decorating, or at least help select between trains/planes/whatever it is that little boys like. Anyway, suggestions are welcome. I don't want anything macho though, so monster trucks are out!