Saturday, June 21, 2008

The Most Loathed Tree in the World.

From afar, one might think this tree is pretty, nice, a provider of shade and all things cool in the summer. In fact, most people who see this tree between the months of July through May have no clue that this tree is the most loathed tree in the world. Really - it is cursed up and down and the recipient of constant glares, jeers and four letter words. I am pretty sure my neighbour Michael has even fashioned a voodoo tree that he pokes with copper nails. I'm surprised the damn thing hasn't fallen down dead from all the negative energy being sent its way.

The main gripe about this tree is that every year when June rolls around, it starts dropping these pulp like pods all over the place. This pulp blows across the neighbourhood - at times it actually appears to be snowing - in June no less. The tree is a Poplar tree, and it is now towers over my home. Its roots are taking over my backyard and coming too close for comfort to the foundation of my house. Michael, an avid gardener is limited in what he can plant in his backyard because he gets no sun as a result of the tree. Pete and Pat have had to replace at least one pool pump, nobody can bbq because the pulp will stick to your food, and those with allergies are forced to stay indoors or perish. Max's brand new jungle gym is caked with white fluff, and my eyes water at even the thought of sitting on my back deck.
The challenge is that the tree is now so big that it will be quite expensive to have taken down. Scott and I try to have some perspective about it (it is just a tree, and in the big picture, there are much more important things going on in our world than this abomination of nature). Do I dislike the tree? Absolutely. Am I willing to get in a pissing match with the lovely single mom with whom my home is physically linked? Nope. I mean, she inherited this problem from the previous owner of the house who refused to consider taking the tree down (he spent the summer at his cottage so what did he care if we were all being forced indoors during the most beautiful days of summer?).

My neighbour is amenable to having the tree taken down (she is not a big fan either). As we do every summer, the neighbours are banding together, getting quotes to see just how much it will cost to remove this blight of nature, and hoping and praying that this problem gets dealt with once and for all. Sigh. I'll let you know how it goes. Otherwise, my next tree post will be about the fifty bags of leaves I'll have to rake come the fall.


  1. Have you tried drilling a hole at the base and pouring bleach in it -- this would surely kill the tree or at least abate its reproductive system!

  2. Lol - I think if the tree dies at this point, my neighbour will know someone killed it purposely. But we have fantasized about digging up the roots and pouring in rock salt.