Is It Worth It? Let Me Work It.

I kept it hush hush here on FF (perhaps I'm a bit superstitious?), but since I started working yesterday, I feel like I can finally share it. Yep, you read that right, I'm back to work. Well, part-time for now and full-time come July.

I had to laugh when I got the "how'd it go?" when I got home yesterday. With all the nerves, new threads and names I've already forgotten it really did feel like the first day of school all over again. The good news is, that unlike school, I want to be there, the people are all nice, and I have much better skin.

Being off with Max has been the right thing. The progress that he has made has been amazing, and I'd like to think that him having this one-on-one time with me has contributed to that. It's been hard work, and the challenge is that at the end of the day, there is no recognition for a job well done, there is no thank you, no pay cheque. You forget that you are smart, skilled, highly qualified, and an expert in your field. And on the days when you feel like you sucked at the whole "mom" thing, you have nothing to hang your hat on, because being a mom is your job, your everything. You lose your identity and forget who you are. I'm not knocking the stay at home moms out there. It just isn't something I think I can do forever, not with a child with Autism anyway.

I like dressing for work in the morning - picking out earrings to go with my dress, slipping into heels. I like the time in the car driving to work (it's quiet). I like drinking my coffee without having a child in my lap. I like that for a few hours a day, I am valued for my brain and known as "Katrina the Marketing Manager" and not "MAAAAAAAAAAAAW-MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!". Back to life, back to reality indeed.