Monday, June 28, 2010

Mental Health Monday: I Try.

If you know me IRL (in real life), you are well aware that I give Casper a ride for his money in the pale department. While I often joke that when I'm 50 I'm going to look AMAZING while the rest of my sun worshipping friends will have faces like leather handbags, I do wish I didn't have only two choices when it comes to my skin (ghost white or lobster red). All of this gardening has forced me to find a decent hat to protect my delicate epidermis. I settled on a Tilley because I'm not trying to be stylish when I'm gardening, I just need a hat that will protect my skin. Please excuse the lack of makeup...my allergies are still making mascara out of the question.With a long weekend coming up, I decided that NOW is the time to do my mulch project. Also, I start working full-time on July 5th! Max and I headed over to Agram Garden Centre this morning, which was a complete nightmare. We left, with Max covered in mud and me with their business card tucked in my pocket. When we got home I gave Max a bath and called to order 2 cubic yards of mulch. That's a lot of mulch, and I find myself a little too excited about its delivery on Wednesday.When I am working in my garden, I feel at peace. My mind is clear. There are a few new additions to my garden - a Buddha statue in the meditating pose, and a bird statue (which as my friend Alana points out reminds us that small beings have a lot of power). I like them because they make me pause for a moment and breathe. Breathe.
I wonder sometimes if other people have to work as hard as I do at being happy. I know that part of my sadness is due to the stress of our overall situation with Max. It takes its toll on all of us. I look at my kids and soak up their joy - it is contagious and for that I am grateful.They are never more beautiful than when they smile. But a close second is when they sleep...with chips.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous8:57 PM

    Love...

    You and Mr. C inspire me all the time. You both are outstanding people with two wonderful children.

    'Working' at being happy sometimes has to happen. But you have all the tools in place. I don't want to bore you with my tale of depression (went through a harrowing ordeal) but as for working on feeling great...it can be frustrating sometimes. My faith helped me out greatly.

    I know the joy you get from your own inner strength, friends, family, husband and wonderful children will push you forward.

    We're always here with you in the fight, mama. I love you! You're one of the most amazing women I've ever met. You've always given it to me straight. You're a great wife and a cool chick.

    YOU. ARE. STRONG.

    KJ

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