Monday, July 11, 2011

dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions.


At five years of age, Max has never asked me a question. Not one. Imagine that for a minute. If you have ever spent time with a young child, you have inevitably experienced the endless barrage of "Why? What's that? Are we there yet?" and "Where are you going?". I didn't know that was what regular kids do until we had Cameron (who more than makes up for Max's lack of questions).

I'm not sure why it is that Max doesn't ask questions. My guess is that his main focus is to communicate what he needs and wants, which he is able to do for the most part. Because this is still a work in progress, questions aren't really all that important. A sign of his development is that he is starting to look at me inquisitively when he knows something is different. His expression says "What's going on mommy?" or "Where is the girl that greets me every day?". In my eyes, this is huge progress. It shows a shift in how he thinks.
There is a little girl named Sophie in Max's daycare who was also in his junior kindergarten class. He immediately recognized her on his first day. I saw a look of relief on his face that said "Oh, thank goodness, someone I know". Every morning, Sophie, jumps up when Max comes in and greets him. She goes over to the reading centre and reads with him and gives him high fives. It is very sweet. I think this may be his first friend. This past Friday, when I dropped Max off, she wasn't there. He looked at me as if to say "What's going on? Where is Sophie?". It was awesome and heartbreaking at the same time. It is wonderful that he has formed an attachment with a peer, but it made me sad to see him bummed out that she wasn't there. I put words to his emotions so that he can start to apply language to how he is feeling by saying "Where's Sophie? I'm sad she's not here". I gave him a hug and said goodbye, feeling really proud of Max and how he is handling this transition into daycare. Also, my son's a player and he's only five.

5 comments:

  1. of course he's a player. look at him.

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  2. Julie2:43 PM

    This hits home to me on so many levels. My son has an unknown developmental delay that we're awaiting assessment on, and he has never asked me any questions other than the occasional "Wha's dat?". Never a "why" or a "who" or a "how". He'll be 4 in August.

    It's heartbreaking to hear other kids talk with their parents or friends of mine laugh and joke about the things their children said to them that day....something I can't really explain to parents of so-called neuro-typical kiddies.

    Sometimes I feel very isolated from other parents as a result....thank goodness for your blog. Although we don't think that Noah is quite on the ASD spectrum, he does have some communication, sensory, and many issues that make him so different from the other children.

    All we can do for our child is dream....

    Thanks again for expressing into words what so many of us are feeling.

    Julie from Burlington

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  3. How wonderful that you can see his new shoots of growth, even before they break through the soil.

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  4. Sounds like wonderful growth for him!

    Cordy is very vocal, and while she does ask a lot of questions, they're mainly aimed at meeting her needs. She avoids the unknown and doesn't ask questions because I think she's too anxious to not already know the answer. (This is the same kid who taught herself to read before letting anyone know she could read - she's too afraid to fail.)

    It's interesting to see how autism affects each child differently, and how each child comes up with creative solutions to overcome their challenges. Sounds like Max is on his way to becoming a master at saying a lot with just a look. Which is an impressive talent to have.

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  5. Anonymous9:55 PM

    Kat...you are a BRILLIANT mother. Not just really good. Brilliant.
    A. xo

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