Always Someone's Baby.

The older I get, the wiser my mother gets and the more I understand her. As I raise my own children, see them grow, picture them as teens, adults, parents themselves, I start to understand that Max and Cameron will always be my babies. Therefore, I must still be my Mother's baby. Perhaps this is obvious to most, but it wasn't to me. Not the intensity of it, the love and concern of it. I look at my children now and I know that no matter how old they are, they will always be my priority, they will always be at the front of my mind.

I write a lot about the pain I feel, the things I am working through in dealing with being the mother of an Autistic son. I have never stopped to think what it must feel like to be the mother of a woman with an Autistic son, or a grandmother of an Autistic grandson. I have no idea what that feels like. I imagine that there is quite a bit of sadness involved is seeing your own baby worry so much about her baby. Not only do you worry about how your child is coping, but you also grieve for your grandson. At least, that is what I am guessing.

My mother is such a source of strength for me. She gives me hope on days when I am at rock bottom. She tells me she believes in me. She slips me money to go get myself a new pair of shoes and makes me promise not to spend it on diapers. And she sings a message of hope and optimism that lifts me up and gives me strength to continue "fighting the good fight".

Mom, I get it. Thank you for being my mom and I know I will always be your baby.