Wednesday, August 25, 2010

what's your superpower?

I am not able to make myself invisible. Or run at the speed of light. I can’t stretch myself into crazy shapes either. But I have incredible hearing.

It has always been that way. I can pick up conversations in hushed tones as if they were being spoken through a megaphone. I had to replace our chandelier because the old one buzzed when the lights were dimmed and it distracted me to the point that I couldn’t focus on anything else (I was the only one who could hear it). My coworker who clips his nails in his office all the way down the hall from me? Not even closing my door shuts out that grating sound. I can hear my cat walk up our carpeted stairs well before I ever see her. And poor Scott, when he mumbles something he thinks I can’t hear under his breath. I catch every word.

The problem with having this superpower is I often end up hearing things I shouldn’t, things I don’t need to know. It can also be terribly distracting. If you try to talk to me while the tv is on I can’t cope. When I’m trying to fall asleep I need silence. Ear plugs help, but then I am treated to the sound of my heart beat and blood flowing in stereo. A toilet’s phantom flush 2 floors down will wake me from a deep sleep. Trying to get me in the mood when the sexy time music is even a touch too loud? You might as well douse me with cold water.

Having the ability to hear a butterfly flutter its wings hasn’t really done much for me. I would much prefer to be able to fly or have super human strength or read minds. What really sucks is that as I get older and I start to lose my hearing, I will be left with nothing. I suppose the same could be said of x-ray vision though. I guess I better start making the most of my superpower. Careful what you whisper. 

Oh…I can also wiggle my ears.

5 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:45 PM

    I have that "super power" too, and seem to have passed it on to my son. He does not have autism but has sensory issues. Super-acute hearing does make life richer in a way, but also more difficult.
    Do you know about misophonia? I didn't know this word until I searched the Internet for an explanation why certain sounds bothered me SO MUCH. You said in your info page about yourself that if someone clipped their nails near you you would "stab them" or some such. And in the above post you mentioned nail clipping again. There are sounds that make me irrationally and-- if it wasn't for serious self-restraint-- violently annoyed. The nail clipper sound reviled by many, doesn't bother me at all, though! Anyway, look up misophonia, if you don't know about it already.
    Love your blog.

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  2. Thanks! I have no doubt that my "super hearing" is completely sensory related and I believe that I have (unfortunately) passed all of them on to Max.

    ...nail clipping...GAH!!

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  3. come to think of it - I blogged about my crazy sensory issues on the autism sucks site!

    http://www.autismsucksblog.com/2009/03/blame-game.html

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  4. I'm double jointed in my fingers, wrists and knees and I discovered this past year that I can flip the tips of fingers so they look like they are rubber. Yes, I am a freak but I love it!

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  5. @Scribe - you should totally audition for Cirque de Soleil - that is pretty cool.

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