Friday, August 27, 2010

over the line?

I went to see my doctor yesterday.

The one who put my iud in. And checked out my jacked up knee (vagina), which is all better now thanks to his medical expertise (my knee, not my vagina - my vagina is fine, thanks for asking).  Did I mention he’s pretty good looking? Well he is. And he’s a really good doctor (which makes the whole experience aces-ten in my books).

So why did I go? And why did I wear my best underwear? The latter is much easier to answer – I wore my best underwear because I was going to the doctor, and that’s just a general rule I follow. Like brushing your teeth and flossing before you go to the dentist. I made sure to tell him that too – I even flashed my bright pink bra strap to make sure he believed me (over the line?). He must think I’m awesome.

But why did I go? I went because I’m worried about my depression. I went because I needed to talk. I went because I am so very sad right now. This sadness, it feels very different than my depression. The sadness is right, and healthy, and doesn’t make me feel unhinged. If anything, I am grateful that I have a better grasp on managing my depression right now. If I was still sitting on the bottom of the ocean I really believe these feelings of sadness would bury me. But this sadness, it reminds me I’m alive.

He gave me some great advice on how to support my family right now. That it is good to have hope. He told me to come see him whenever I want. I think I will move my visits to monthly instead of every other month. If for no other reason than the great eye candy.

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