social media 'a lifeline' for moms of kids with special needs.

Something every mother of a child with special needs tells me is that when they first found out about their child’s medical issues, they felt completely isolated. Friends and family couldn’t relate to what they were going through. Taking care of their child took so much time that it was all but impossible to advocate on behalf of him or her. It was overwhelming.

...Read more on iVillage.ca

7 things i already knew about bloggers and brands.

* If you aren't into social media, bloggers, talking about social media and/or bloggers, you should probably skip this post. 

I spent the last couple of days at the She's Connected conference in Toronto. For some strange reason, I am oddly attracted to these networking events (even though I am an introvert at heart and find these types of things completely exhausting). But, I figure if I am going to do this working for myself thing, I need to get over myself and use every opportunity I get to hustle my wares. Going into this I had no idea that the highlight of the conference would be meeting Raymi The Minx and tweeting inappropriate 140 character missives at her. But hey, that's why we play the game, right?

So, the point of this conference was for bloggers and brands to make nice, talk, get to know each other, and to come to some sort of understanding of where we/they are coming from. It was interesting to meet some of the people behind the twitter accounts of brands like Ford, Toshiba and the Canadian Mint (who knew they were so hip?). After two days of sitting and listening to what bloggers and brands had to say, I can't say I learned anything, but I rarely do at these conferences so that's not a surprise. I think the biggest let down was the brands that were there weren't ready to truly talk/do business. I got a pile of business cards and requests to email people after the conference, but it would have been great to really get down to brass tacks at the event.

My take aways from this event, while not new, were good reminders:

Bloggers:

• If you want to work with brands, be tactical and specific. Don't go sleeping around with everyone, build a relationship with brands that are in line with your vision and what you stand for. I only work with brands that value content and want to partner with me in a way that will provide me the opportunity to write about things I am passionate about. Examples of this are Autism Speaks, WonderBra, Sprite, Rogers, CVS Caremark, Disney and MSN. 
• If you want to make money blogging, then don't settle for cereal as payment. Set your terms, but be reasonable when you are getting started. Get your foot in the door, and as you build your relationship with the brand, you can expand on that and make more money.
• You aren't going to be able to make your living off of blog traffic. There will only ever be one Dooce, and you need to get over that. 
• Be creative and try a whole lot of different things. That's what I love about Raymi. She is unapologetic about how and why she does what she does. She is making a living and is staying true to herself. It may not be what you would do, but before you go judging, at least acknowledge that she has clear goals, is forthright about what she wants and goes for it. I personally find that awesome and refreshing. And if she was in Playboy, I would totally buy it.
• Brands have NO IDEA what is going to work with your audience. If you get pitched a stupid idea, go back to them with a better idea. They are new at this and need our help and if you want to work with a brand, then come to the table with something that makes sense for both of you.

Now for the Brands:

• You need to think bigger. Don't offer me free chocolate to blog about your product. I don't want to do giveaways on my site either. I also don't want to go to your press conference. If you want to be relevant to me and my readers, be willing to invest in a longer term project that is in line with what I write about or something that I would actually do. Example: I don't drink beer, but if was throwing a fundraiser for Autism Speaks, I would love for a beer company to sponsor the party, provide all the beverages and food, and sponsor Team Maxwell for our annual walk. I'm not interested in test driving a car, but I'd love to partner with a car company that would sponsor Max's service dog and provide a vehicle that can transport his dog. Most of all, I don't want a coupon to buy last year's version of your expensive gadget at $100 off. I'd rather you just ship me your gadget and pay me to write a series of posts and reviews about how I use your gadget, if I like it, how it compares to a similar gadget on the market, etc. 
• Be more creative with your swag or don't bother. I don't actually care about getting free stuff at these conferences (it's tiring to shlep it around). The best things I took home from this conference were a block of brie that Raymi stole for me and a cute smartphone case that another attendee gave me.

*Back to our regularly scheduled program tomorrow.

build your relationships with purpose.

Do you ever feel like you have too many "friends" on Facebook? Not remember why you decided to follow someone on Twitter? It's easy to feel like your digital life is cluttered. As a writer, I tend to lean towards the attitude of the more friends the better. It's more about social networking than building solid friendships for me. Or is it? Perhaps there are important relationships to be built that I just don't know about yet. Yesterday I attended the #140 conference in Kitchener, Ontario. I knew some of the people who were attending, which was a relief (I find it stressful when I don't see any familiar faces). I "met" a whole lot of new people. And by met, I mean, I heard them speak about topics which they are passionate about and then followed them on twitter and told them how much I dug their presentations.

In 140 characters, I reached out and let someone know that I valued their ideas and wanted to hear more from them. That's powerful, no? The beauty of social media isn't that companies can get you to "like" them on Facebook so that you can get access to exclusive coupons. The beauty of social media is that one person, with one idea, can reach millions of people and start a meaningful discussion. It means that I can tell one little boy's story and influence researchers, doctors, families with children with autism,  and sometimes just people who find joy in appreciating the small things. Or maybe reading about Max helps someone know that they aren't alone in this journey. I may never know that my writing about Max has made a difference in someone's life. The only thing I can be sure if is that writing about Max has made a difference in my life. Either way, I figure everybody wins.

As I expand my network, be it through Facebook, Twitter, conferences or real life, I make a conscious decision about who I am going to build relationships with - who I am going to "let in". Of course, the opposite is true as well -- when people meet me, they will decide if I am worthy of building a relationship with. Yesterday was a terrific reminder of how we can all use social media to make a profound difference in our world and how we can make meaningful connections so long as we manage our influence over those we reach, responsibly. Never forget, as Jeff Pulver so eloquently said in his opening address "We're living in a time where 100s of millions can find each other from one single idea, one single voice". Here, here!

the google+ project: should you enter its social network?

Search engine giant Google has a new offering for the social media arena: Google+. If you are shaking your head thinking, "I don't have time for Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter as it is, the last thing I need is another place for people to contact me", think again. Google+ is definitely worth your time.

...Read more on iVillage.ca

Why You Should Join Google+

Just what we all need, yet another social network to try to wrangle on top of Facebook, twitter, LinkedIn, and whatever other countless ways our friends/contacts/loved ones/that hot guy from college have to stay in touch with, keep tabs on, and generally tether us to our computers/tablets/smartphones. But as much as it pains me to say it, Google+ is definitely worth your time.

The Best of Both Worlds
The beauty of Twitter is that just because someone follows you, you don't have to follow them (unlike Facebook which asks if you will be attending your Aunt Hilda's "Christmas Pajama Pants Making Party" even if you weren't specifically invited). With Google+ you can have your Aunt Hilda as a contact, but you don't have to connect with her, and she won't be hurt if you aren't following her like on twitter.

Cleaner Interface
It doesn't have the clutter of ads and recommendations of Facebook, or promoted hash tags and "who to follow" of twitter. Best of all, there are no farm games or mafia apps to hide.

Better Privacy Controls
While Facebook forces you to dig five layers deep to ensure that your information is private, the privacy settings on Google+ are transparent. You have to opt-in to share information, versus the Buzz disaster which auto-opted you in and killed the project before it even got off the ground. Twitter offers no privacy controls, unless you protect your tweets, which in my opinion, defeats the entire purpose of tweeting.

Easier Management of Your Network
Google+ uses circles to organize your network from the start. Each circle has its own stream so that you can decide which of your circles's conversations you want to follow. Better yet, you can share something with your entire network or with a small circle of people who are interested in a specific topic simply by selecting a single circle or multiple circles.

No Character Limit & Less Noise
Sometimes 140 characters isn't enough to get your point across and it is hard to keep up with the stream of conversation. Google+ does a great job of organizing comments so that you can keep up with multiple discussions and refer back to them later. Also, if you are late to the party, you don't have to feel weird for tweeting/commenting about something that is "so two hours ago".

What's To Come
Since Google+ is still in its beta stage and hasn't been released publicly yet, you can only sign up if you receive an invite from someone already on the network. In addition, the true power of Google+ won't be seen until all Google apps are integrated (I am showing my true geeky side by admitting that I am way too excited about this). Lastly, while there are Google+ apps for Android, there isn't one for iPhone yet. Let's hope that is rectified soon! If you want more detailed information, the Google blog does a nice job of explaining the specific ins and outs of the project.

You can find me on Google+ at http://gplus.to/katrinacarefoot

peeling back the layers.

It turns out that change, (even good change), is stressful. This past week I have been a big bundle of nerves. Not sleeping, grumpy, anxious, and seemingly unable to pinpoint just what exactly is bothering me.

Everything should be fine. Better than fine, it should be fantastic. I'm:

• working from home
• not feeling pulled in a million directions
• able to pick Max up from school and take him to therapy myself

and...

• Max's daycare for the summer is all set up
• I've started working on my book

So why do I still have this unsettled feeling? Is it that I'm finally really going for it? Working for myself, and that I now have to hustle to make sure I can actually make enough money to do this? Probably... yes, definitely, yes.

The ups and downs of every day knock me sideways. Should I take this job? Should I go make lattes at Starbucks? Take the night shift at a bakery? I don't know...I don't know. I made a friend a promise that I would stick it out, and not give up when the going inevitably gets tough. To that I say, anyone looking for a writer?

the best day of my life was not the last day of my life.

The two best days of my life were the days my children were born. Nothing compares to the excitement, the nerves, the anticipation and the miracle of birth. I never worried about my life being in danger. I took for granted that I would go to the hospital, get an epidural, push for a bit and have my babies. This is a privileged perspective.

Every 90 seconds, a mother dies from pregnancy-related causes. Without access to the proper resources, technology and knowledge, this horrific epidemic will continue. It’s time for moms around the world to leverage the power of social media to stand together in the fight against maternal mortality. With enough signatures, we can get the US Congress to set aside funding for maternal issues. That’s it. Your voice is all we need. And there is no bigger voice than the sisterhood of motherhood.

Sign the petition here.

THE END EVENT Twitter Party
May 31st, 2011
8-9:30 PM EST


GOAL: 100,000 signatures on the petition
Use hashtags: #moms4moms #seetheEnd
www.Facebook.com/haveMom-entum

Did you know?

• One maternal death every 90 seconds.
• In the US, 2 women die each day from a pregnancy-related complication.
• Globally, 100 women die each day in pregnancy/childbirth
• 15% of all pregnancies result in complications during labor and delivery and sometimes are fatal.
• We have the knowledge to prevent 90% of all maternal deaths.

Actress, Olivia Wild, Jeffrey Sacks, and Russell James will hosting a live streamed event on the 23rd as well. Moms4Moms will be there hosting the twitter party right from the event, as well as with the Moms4Moms hosts listed below.

Over the past month, I have been  partnering with the following influential moms/dads bloggers to raise awareness about maternal mortality: Holly Pavlika - havemomentum.com, Erica Diamond - womenonthefence.com, Audrey McClelland - momgenerations.com, Molly Gold - gomominc.com, Beth Feldman - rolemommy.com, Niri Jaganath -mommyniri.com, Katja Presnal - skimbacolifestyle.com, Kelly Loubet - everydaychildhood.com, Julie Cole - mabelslabels.com, Linda Grant - nycsinglemom.com, Dagmar Bleasdale Dagmar's momsense, Adam Cohen - dadarocks.com, Holly Fink - TheCultureMom.com, CC Chapman - cc-chapman.com, and Ted Rubin - tedrubin.com.

linkedin...really?

I consider myself fairly social media savvy. I am on facebook, twitter, have two blogs, a youtube channel, can text with the best of them and am the proud owner of an iPhone (4 thank you very much). I have a linkedin account too, but I never use it.

The thing is, I was assuming that nobody used it and that it was just a tool for recruiters to stalk you. When I heard about their initial stock offering going gangbusters, I thought, what the heck, I'll login and see what's up.

185 messages in my inbox.
92 link requests.

Ugh.

Normally I am all for new ways to expand my network of friends. For some reason, I find myself resisting linkedin. There is nothing fun about it. I suppose it is good to have a professional version of facebook, but when you write as candidly as I do, it isn't really necessary. Anyone can search my name and find my blog. I've had reference checkers tell my about-to-be-boss that they think I'm quite humorous (as in laugh with not at). I don't personally feel the need to connect with people on a site for strictly professional reasons. Am I alone in my boredom with linkedin? Or do I just need to suck it up and embrace it?

Are you on linkedin? Are we linkedin? Do we need to be? Or maybe we can just do the facebook thing...

mommy, what are you going to be?

It was an innocent question. One that was preceded with clarifications about the fact that Max is a boy, and daddy is a man, and that Max will one day be a man, and that Cameron is a girl, and I am a woman, and that Cameron will one day be a woman. And then she asked me that question that I have been asking myself for a long, long time.

"Mommy, what are you going to be?"

Now, for sure, she was looking for the next step after being a woman - and I hated to burst her bubble and say, "well, that's it". But it really hit me in a much more meaningful way than that.

What am I going to be?

Truth is, I haven't completely figured it out. I know for sure what I don't want to be. I'm lucky enough that I have a new opportunity starting next week that is a huge step in the right direction towards what I think I want to be. It's scary and exciting and holy shit, I'm really doing it...I can really make this happen (with a lot of work and a little luck).

I want to work in the online and mobile space.
I want to create.
I want to communicate. And advocate. And educate.
I want to be inspired and maybe even inspire.

I want to do things that matter.

I want to be able to care for my family.
And find balance for myself.
I want to not feel guilty about calling in sick to work because my daughter has a tummy ache or my son who has Autism hasn't slept all night and is unable to go to school because he won't be able to function.

I want it all.  I am going to have it all.

I'll let you know when I figure out what I am going to be.

social media moms help moms in need this mother's day!

When Nirasha Jaganath told me about a project she was participating in that was about helping moms in need this Mother’s Day, she had me "at hello". I have recently become a contributor for her site Mommy Niri Cares and being asked to be a part of this project was really exciting. Holly Pavlika led this initiative and within one afternoon, she gathered 12 moms to join forces. But not just any 12 moms. 12 influential social media moms!

I am not going to relay all the facts here, you should visit Holly’s post and also see the Facebook page to get a run down.




Here are the facts:

$14.6 billion* was spent on Mother’s Day presents last year in the U.S. alone!

One word: Ridiculous! Now I like perfume and lovely wine as much as anyone else but listen up, we need to keep that gifting in check. There are people out there that need us. Yes, it matters to us. It should. We are known for our compassion and nurturing spirit and that should extend beyond our boundaries. Whether the social, medical or political circumstances are the reasons for harm, we should be the healing force. What is that?

“I can’t afford to help??”

Oh, yes you can. Don’t give me that. Everyone can help. Whether it is by tweeting, FB’ing, writing a post, donating money (as little as $5 helps), or donating your old cell-phone (even the tab for shipping is picked up).

“So who will this help?”

Every Mother Counts is an organization Christy Turlington started after her own home birth went awry. The documentary will air on the Oprah Winfrey Network on May 7^th at 9:30–11 p.m. (ET/PT). The organization works with maternal deaths and supports moms in several countries. Here are some stats, read them and weep as they are weep-worthy:

• There is one maternal death every 90 seconds. So by the time you would have read this post, lives are being lost!
• 15% of all pregnancies result in complications during labor and delivery and sometimes are fatal. Shocking in this day and age!
• Pregnancy is the biggest killer of girls ages 15-19. This is an age we don’t even consider when we think about moms.
• For every woman who dies in childbirth, 20 more suffer from debilitating complications. Which also means that several complications go uncounted and lives are forever impacted.
• We have the knowledge to prevent 90% of all maternal deaths. Not only knowledge, but power too!

Will you post today?

Join Holly, Nirasha, myself and my fellow friends below as we show the power of social media moms

Audrey McClelland, Mom Generations
Linda Grant, NYCSingleMom.com
Beth Feldman, RoleMommy.com
Erica Diamond, WomenOnTheFence.com
Kelly Loubet, Everyday Childhood
Katja Presnal, SkimbacoLifestyle.com
Karina Asner Carefoot, ficklefeline.ca
Julie Cole, Mabel’s Labels
Molly Hayden Gold, The GO MOM! Organizer
Dagmar Bleasdale, Dagmar’s momsense

*National Retail Federation.

why are you hiding?

After taking Max to Oakville Trafalgar Memorial ER last week, my first inclination was to call to tell someone there what a great job the nurses, x-ray techs and doctors had done with Max.  It wasn't to write a blog post about it.  The only reason I wrote a blog post about our experience was because when I tried to find someone to give our positive feedback to, the best I could do was an email address for the public relations department.  I called the ombudsman's office and got a voicemail message that clearly suggested the only folks calling the ombudsman are ones who have complaints.  As a last resort, I figured I would email the hospital CEO to let him or her (??) know what a super job his or her team is doing,  but after searching high and low, I could not find a name or email address anywhere on their website.  Which I found odd.

Why wouldn't the head honcho of any organization want to put his or her hand up and say "heck yeah, the buck stops with me - I'm the leader"?  I know that not every company is facebook and not every CEO is Mark Zuckerberg, but it isn't a lot to ask for the names and contact information of the executive team of any company to be made publicly available in an easily accessible forum (like their website).  I don't say this to pick on the hospital - not by a long shot.  I say this because it is not a unique experience. 

ErinoakKids is in the same boat.  I've done the leg work and tried to speak to the person who runs the place, but only got as far as her executive assistant (a lovely woman).  The lack of transparency is very old fashioned and not with the times at all.  In a world where I can order pizza through my iPad, I expect to be able to at the very least, find the name of the leader of an organization within one click off their company homepage. 

Providing your clients, patients, or users with access to information about the people who run your company is a good thing.  Accessibility to decision makers gives credibility to your organization.  Transparency on how you are structured, do business and who works for you is not going to give away the Caramilk secret and be the death of your business - it will do the opposite. 

Social media is rewriting the rulebook on how companies behave.  Those who continue with the game of hide and seek will be forced to get with the program or even worse, be deemed untrustworthy and left behind.  For all you know, someone out there is trying to pay you a complement or tell you how much they like your product! Wouldn't it be nice to find out directly instead of through a google alert, or twitter?

twitter 101.

Because I am a social media geek, I take things like twitter for granted. Scott just told me I need to help one of our fairly web savvy friends with how to use twitter.  I plan on giving her a twitter rundown, but in the meantime, here are the top 11 things you should know about twitter.

Twitter 101:

1. If you don't have a twitter account, go to www.twitter.com and sign up. Your user name will also be known as your twitter "handle".

2. Each 140 character statement you make is called a "tweet". Past tense tweets are "twats". Actually, that is a lie.

3. A good place to start is to follow people you know on twitter. Example - I'm @ficklefeline, so feel free to follow me.

4. A lot of people will follow you just because you follow them. You don't have to follow everyone who follows you (I don't). Don't be offended if someone doesn't follow you just because you follow them - it's no biggy, you aren't in high school anymore (unless of course you are and in that case, it sucks to be you).  That's what separates twitter from facebook - and thank dog for that.

5. Don't use the twitter app in facebook to auto update your facebook status with every new tweet. It's really annoying and you will piss your facebook friends off.

6. The world doesn't need to know that the apple you ate was really tart. The world does need to know that the bacon you ate was the best thing you've ingested this year. I kid. Tweet about whatever you want, but don't be surprised if you lose followers for tweeting about running out of toilet paper.

7. If you want to tweet at someone, include their twitter handle, starting with "@" in your tweet - example - @ficklefeline you look super hot - clearly @P90X is working for you!!

8. When you see words that begin with "#" at the end of a tweet, these are things that people might search by - example - #ficklefelineisasexybitch - or, you know, #superbowl #chilirecipe

9. If you like something that someone else has tweeted, you can retweet it. Don't retweet everything, just the awesome stuff that you think people that follow you might find interesting.

10. Make sure you keep your profile up to date and use some sort of avatar (not the default egg). You can also do things like backgrounds and other fancy stuff on your profile, but your priority should be to make sure you look hot.

11. You can use twitter to follow people you find interesting, even if you don't feel like tweeting much yourself.  It is a great source for news, entertainment, sports updates and funny shit.  I follow Chelsea Handler, Bill Simmons, Tony Horton and Rachel Maddow.  Note - if you are following someone who is big time and you want to be sure they are the real deal, make sure they are "verified" - that means they are legit.

There are more things you should probably know about twitter, but figure out these ones first and then I'll hit you with more.

you asked for it.

Have you ever asked for someone’s advice and not liked their response?  What do you do with it?  Take it to heart (or too much to heart as it may be)? Write it off as bullshit and move on?  Get mad at them and tell them to go fly a kite (probably not the best thing to do since after all, you did ask for the advice)?  Or maybe you just say nothing and then go ask someone else what they think of said advice and see if they agree (and risk the chance of being mad at two people). 

I recently asked a friend of mine if she had advice on how to break into a very cliquey group of Canadian bloggers.  I was hoping for one of the following responses:

1. I will introduce you personally and recommend you to them
2. They may seem like self-important blog snobs but if you email them they will totally open up their post Blissdom loving arms and welcome you into their community
3. Forget about it, they don’t bother with bloggers with fewer than 5,000 twitter followers

The response I got was not what I expected at all.  It was:

Tighten your writing and get an editor. 

I sat and said nothing (shocking, yes).  What does that even mean?  While I agree that in an ideal world we would all have an editor, when you write as often as I do (and for free) it is not realistic.  Also, I spend a fair bit of time reviewing my posts before I press “publish”, and it is rare for there to be a typo in one of my blogs.  And what the hell? How does that help me break into that group of bloggers?  Even if I went back to school and got a degree in creative writing, that would not help me with this particular endeavor.  Are they going to magically discover me just because I have training they deem deserving of acknowledgement? 

Because I have it in me to be a passive aggressive asshole, I spent last night going over the blogs I “aspire to be affiliated with” (which is becoming less true by the second).  The very first one I checked had a grammatical error in the most recent post.  I called my husband and told him and he suggested they “tighten up their writing”.  

As it turns out, I think I'm okay not being part of this group.  It makes me feel like I'm back in high school which was not much fun then and is not much fun now.  Now excuse me while I go tighten up my writing.

i may be small but i am mighty.

I have come to realize that I live two separate lives. There is my day to day "real" life where I am a mom, a wife, a daughter, an employee and a friend.   There is also my web existence where I don my fickle feline superhero costume and fly into the online ether.

Balancing the two can be tricky.  I love my life.  I have a terrific family that I adore.  Friends who belly dance and quilt with me.  A job that while not my dream job, pays the bills and is close to home.  This real life feeds my online persona.  It is my day to day experiences that I draw on to fuel my existence as fickle feline.  When I suit up (or log on) I feel an internal shift within me.

This past week I spent 3 days as fickle feline at the Blissdom Conference in Nashville.  It was awesome and weird and fun and thought provoking all rolled into one big ball of emotions.  I got to meet people that I have only ever known as their online identity (some of them equal to Mrs.Incredible and Wonder Woman in stature).  I realized that no matter how popular someone is online (determined by hundreds of thousands of twitter followers and millions of page views), when they are standing next to me in line for coffee, we are very much equals.

I met Brené Brown and learned that she too has felt less than fantastic about her appearance, she too has had flashes of panic about putting herself out there.  And she is still GREAT.  I met Karen Walrond, the author of The Beauty of Different and listened to her speak about having to do an internal check of her core values when writing her blog and keeping her online life and her real life completely separate.  And she is the personification of real beauty.  I sat on the floor with Maggie and Amy and talked with them about the challenges of running their own businesses and how they plan to grow while still staying true to the reason they started in the first place.  They both took the leap and are their own bosses. Everywhere I turned I was surrounded by women challenging themselves to live and love with their whole hearts.  For a few short days we all took off our super hero masks and capes and shared of ourselves in a way we cannot in our day to day lives.

It was a reminder of something I have known for a long time - we are all more the same than we are different.  That holds true in all facets of life.  My challenge now is to find a way to make this type of  connection more often, online and in day to day life.  It is easier to be vulnerable as fickle feline than it is as Katrina.  I can be both and be enough, either way.  

love that max.

This is Ellen from Love That Max.  As I type this, we are sitting at the Blissdom closing keynote.  Funny story, before I came to Blissdom, at least five people told me that I absolutely had to meet her.  So here we are, trading swag and whispering.  She is my people (and not just because she also has a son named Max).  Actually, we just got told to shut up, so we are no longer whispering.  Regardless, it is meeting ladies like Ellen that makes this trip worthwhile.  When she speaks about her journey I feel like she is telling my story.  When she tells me about things I have yet to experience I hope I will handle these situations with the same grace that she does.  She inspires me to see my Max through fresh eyes and to enjoy him as is.  Thank you Ellen.  You are awesome.

finding my tribe at blissdom.

check out the sweet cards @designmojo made for me!

Hi, I'm Katrina and my blog is ficklefeline.ca.  I blog about... ummm... yeah... huh.  How do I encapsulate everything I write about here in under ten words?  It took me a few intros to get it down, but by the end of the day I had it perfected.

I write about infusing joy into every single day.

Despite the challenges that get thrown my way in any 24 hour window, be it battling back depression, having a particularly challenging day with Max, feeling at the end of my rope with a lippy 2 year old, or not being able to get any "alone time" with my husband, that is a commitment I have made to myself.  Find your joy.  If I can do that, then I can manage all the other stuff.  I can do it.

Why the need for intros and attention getting business cards?  Long story short, I'm at the Blissdom Conference in Nashville this week.  Every year hundreds of women (and a few men) come together to discuss all things blogging and social media.  For a few short days this week I will be surrounded by a community of women who understand me.  They get the love of writing online.  They too get excited about twitter and facebook and sharing their stories with the universe.  Even better, within this community, there are tribes.  Groups of women who write about their children with special needs, or fitness, or mental health.  Lots of  other topics too, but those are the ones that bring it home for me.

Today I sat at a table of women who know what it is to raise a child with special needs.  Without saying a word, they already understand me better than the majority of people in my real life.  Last night I had dinner with a group of ladies who openly discussed all of the different medications they had taken to manage depression and the side effects each of them had.  The only thing that topped that was one of the conference founders confiding (quite loudly) that she counts back from 10 repeatedly when she is providing a certain service for her husband.  I think I may be in love.

Social media conventions can be overwhelming.  They are intense and the connections you make leave you feeling unraveled by the end of the day.  This one is by far the best one I've been to.  It's the right size, the energy is positive, and the people I have met are fascinating.  Also, today I met Brené Brown.  I had something really deep I wanted to say to her, but when I finally got the chance to say hello all I managed to stammer out was "thank you for being".  Regardless of me making an ass of myself, it was wonderful getting to hear her key note and be part of something bigger.

There is so much more to say, but I need to jet to a party... more later!

i'm an expert.

I'm headed to the Blissdom conference in Nashville on Wednesday.  It promises to be a lot of fun.  Great location (Opryland hotel), fun people (like Julie Cole) and interesting topics to discuss.  I'm mostly going for the fun people though.  I was doing some research on the different workshops and speakers last night and there are definitely some sessions I will be sure to check out.

What I found most interesting was reading the profiles of the people who have been selected to present.  For the sake of full disclosure, I should tell you that I threw my name in the hat and submitted a proposal to participate in a panel and was not selected.  I am completely fine with that and will attend the panel all the same.   Back to these bios though.  As I read through them I thought to myself "very few of these people have any more experience in writing or social media than me, yet they are experts".  I'm not holding myself up next to Brené Brown by any stretch, but I am certainly comparable to the vast majority of speakers.

So, what makes someone an "expert" anyhow?  From what I can tell, and this has been my opinion for a very long time, it is that you feel confident enough in your skills in an area to call yourself an expert.  The end.  You don't even need someone else to call you an expert first.  Just start calling yourself one and others will follow suit.  So, I'm a social media expert.  I am.  Feel free to refer to me as one.

To back up my claim I wrote up a little bio for myself:
Katrina writes for the award winning website Fickle Feline which she founded in 2004.  Her candid writing and bare bones honesty have won her accolades from both the Mental Health and Autism communities.  She is an Autism advocate and is currently documenting her Autistic son Max's journey for a book she is writing on how to achieve a best outcome for Autism through early intervention and intensive therapy.  She is a contributor to websites Sew Sew Def and Traveling Mom and has provided content for WonderBra, Mabels Labels,  FedEx, Bell Sympatico, American Express, Air Miles, Royal Bank of Canada, Purolator, Sprite, CVS Caremark and Microsoft.  She is also a social media consultant, specializing in helping businesses use social media in relevant and cost effective ways to build customer loyalty and strengthen relationships.  Katrina thinks raisins are just rotten grapes and is not afraid to share pictures of herself looking completely ridiculous.  She hates her cat and very much looks forward to the day that her two year old daughter turns 18 and moves out.

tits up, hammer out.

One of Mama Kat's (not me) writing prompts this week is "how has social media changed your life?".  That's a loaded question. It would be easier to answer the question "how hasn't social media changed your life?".  The most obvious way is that a whole lot of people know a whole lot about me, including potential employers.  I have blogged about all sorts of personal stuff, including battling depression, the struggles and triumphs of raising a child with special needs, and acting very inappropriately at my bachelorette party (though I'm fairly certain I made those police officer's day).  Yes, I am card carrying over sharer, but that's true in my day-to-day life as well (just ask anyone who knows me "IRL").  And, if you don't want to give me a job after you read about my efforts to make the most of my life, then I probably don't want to work for you anyway. 

Social media has also made me less patient (I know, who knew that was even possible?).  If I want information, I want it NOW.  Like, how old is Hugh Laurie (51), and do I make the half-your-age-plus-seven cut-off?  (Yes.)  If I want to talk with you I can find you with a text or bbm or tweet in a matter of seconds.  If you don't answer right away I will wonder if you are dead and ask you if you are, in fact, six feet under.  I can rsvp for an event and see who else is attending to decide if I want to go without picking up the phone, and I can share photos in real time of the evil Canada Geese that thwart my efforts to get to work on time.

On the flip side, I can get daily inspiration from world class thinkers I have never met, listen to an artist's latest track before I decide to pay for it on itunes, and banter back and forth with friends while watching my favourite show on tv (even if they are in a different city).  Good and bad, social media has brought the world to me.  Almost everything I want is only a click of a button away. 

Almost.  I have this theory about social media.  We use it as a way to stay in touch, make contact, and interact with people.  We love it because we think it actually helps us achieve these goals, even though all we are really doing is keeping the world at arm's length.   I love me some social media, but it does nothing to help me truly connect with the people in my immediate circle.  It does the exact opposite.  After telling the world how I'm feeling about something on my blog I assume my family and friends have read it and know I having a tough time that day.  My facebook status message informed the world that Cameron peed in the toilet for me, so I don't need to relive the joy with my mom.  My oldest friend got married by Elvis in Vegas and it was webcast real time online but I wasn't there to celebrate with her.  My friend from college's cat died and I found out on twitter how sad he was about it.  So near yet so very, very far.

Something to think about for sure.

be awesome.

Today was a full day.  I often think those are the best kind (as my friend Jennifer says "the secret to life is keeping busy").

We decked the kids out in orange and black for school and daycare (I think that was a theme or something today?).  Max was non-plussed, Cameron was pleased with her black pants with silver stars on them (and who can blame her? We should all have black pants with silver stars on them).

I spent the day in Toronto at the Blissdom Canada conference.  I didn't have specific expectations for this conference, only the hope that it would be less overwhelming than BlogHer and that it would get my creative juices flowing again.  It certainly made good on both of those wishes.

The highlight came early, and that was the musical guest, Tanya Davis.  You may already be familiar with her work (her youtube video "How To Be Alone" is almost at 2 million views).  She performed a few songs from her soon to be released album "Clocks And Hearts Keep Going".   Tanya is quirky and funny and eloquent - the kind of person I look at and think "I wish I could express myself like she does".  I also had the pleasure of eating lunch with her.  She asked me if I was a Leo.  I have no idea why.

These conferences are alway a trip for me.  Incredible writers, funny and smart women, people who get me, who don't tilt their head quizzically when I say I have a blog.  They are my people and even if I walk into a room of folks I don't know, I am at home.  The most important lesson from today was not a new one, but an excellent reminder.  Be awesome.  Create awesome and compelling content.  Stand behind it.  Don't settle for anything less.  And to quote one of my favourite bloggers, you don't need to write your blog trying to figure out what the twist to your story is.  You are the twist, and that is enough.

are visible minorities invisible in canadian social media?: part 2.

Last month I got up on my soapbox about the lack of diversity in speakers and panelists being featured at the upcoming Blissdom Canada conference.  Well, yesterday I received an email from the organizers with a call for session topics asking:

What do you want to see? 

What are you tired of seeing? 

What have you always wished someone would discuss? 

What is the best use of your time and investment?

Seeing as I made a point of complaining about lineup on my blog, I figured I'd better provide some input.  I sent the organizers the following email (I used a lot of the comments from the blog to support why I thought a session discussing visible minorities in social media was important).  Thanks in advance to everyone who commented on that last blog - hopefully my suggestion will be taken seriously.

**********

Subject: BD11 Session Proposal

Hi Megan,

I would LOVE to hear from some speakers with different ethnic origins than currently on the speaker list (all white to date). Also, while I appreciate that hearing from bloggers who have large audiences and who have been at it for a long time is a natural place to start, there are a lot of new bloggers and social media experts out there who are relatively unknown who are producing fantastic content and have terrific insights.

The experience of visible minorities is important. There are a tonne of talented social media experts/ bloggers/ technical people available in all colours/ creeds/ classes. The voices of women who come from different perspectives enrich us all, and not just about lack of privilege. All women are not created equally. We face some common issues, but we face them from different social locations. This is why I think it's really important that women from a variety of races and classes be invited to speak.

Also, imagine if every day, you never saw a representation of yourself in mainstream media? You would start to question your validity, and your very existence in not only this country, but in the world - which is crazy because the majority of humans in the world are not white.

This seems obvious to me, but clearly it is not so obvious to everyone: It is important that every woman have a voice - especially at a social media convention geared towards women.

Title: Are Visible Minorities Invisible in Social Media?

Session Outline:

• how does your background / current social stature come through in your writing?
• do you write with a specific community in mind, or do you write without any preconceived notion as to who is reading your blog?
• how do you feel about the fact that the majority of social media conventions are dominated by white people? do you think this is an accurate reflection of who is using social media?
• what can bloggers who are considered a "visual minority" do to more effectively get their voices heard?

Panelists:
Joanne B. - writer/editor
Lulu P. - http://lululovesfood.tumblr.com/
Bariah K. - http://www.strandedmom.com/
Elaine Lui - http://www.laineygossip.com/

thanks for considering this topic,

Kat C.