Tuesday, February 01, 2011
the problem with mental health is that you can't see when it's broken.
Today is just one day.
Do your best.
You are enough.
Open your heart.
It is okay to feel sad, but don’t let it overtake you.
There is joy to be found – you just need to look.
The very fact that my inner voice is speaking kindly to me is tremendous progress. Only a few months ago it was saying things like "you aren't worthy" and "who do you think you are anyway?". But still, depression is a cruel mistress. The thing that creeps up the most is apathy. I see the message light on my phone blinking and I can’t be bothered to check and see who called. There is a sharp keening in my heart and I am unable to figure out exactly what I am missing. I long to get back into bed and hide underneath the covers and sleep the day away. Lucky for me this is most certainly not an option.
The challenge of course, is that mental health issues are invisible on the surface. Today I look just like I look on every other day. I will crack the same sarcastic jokes and do my best to keep it all together as I wrap my mental arms around the sadness and attempt to contain it. After all, today is just one day...