American Idol: Rat Pack Week.

I tried multiple times to write a post about this week's performances. Pure venom was running through my fingertips, and it is very sticky, so my keyboard got all jammed up. So instead I decided to do a video blog. I still hate on everyone, but at least I have the goods to back it up. Check it out if you want to hear how these songs were meant to be sung. Shoot, I have a cold and I sound better than all of these guys put together.

American Idol: Disco Week.

Ugh. Disco week. With all of the great songs out there, why oh why, do we need to bring back disco? This can go nowhere good, and I'm ready to be tortured for the next hour, and my cat has headed for the hills.

Lil Rounds - I'm Every Woman: I can't tell what is going on with this...she is all over the place. It feels like she can't get on top of the beat, and she isn't singing in tune, just kind of around the pitch. Also, she is trying to riff way too much, and it is just coming off as self-indulgent wankery. Heh - I just noticed the GIANT background singers being flashed up on the screen. Good lawd, this is a train wreck.

Kris Allen - She Works Hard For the Money: I understand why he decided to do this song, and I'm thankful he didn't try to do the original arrangement. Given the difficult task of doing something cool with a disco tune and trying to stay true to your own sound, I think he did okay.

Danny Gokie - September: This dude is so white it hurts. Yeah, he has a good voice, and he hits the notes, and he is kind of cute, but he is just so vanilla. I bet he would do great on the Christian Pop music circuit, but I'm getting bored with him. He could go, say, this week, and I'd be alright with that.

Alison Iraheta - Hot Stuff: Great song choice for Alison. I loved the intro with her sitting on the stairs (and her shoes!). I kind of wanted her to move a bit more though, it felt like she was glued to the stage. I think the slower tempo didn't help matters, because the overall energy seemed lower than I would have liked. But considering she's a rock singer, this was just about the best she could have done in this genre.

Adam Lambert - If I Can't Have You: Adam is the only contestant where I actually get excited to see what he is going to do with the arrangement. Instead of singing an upbeat song, he took a risk and sang a ballad, and wow, did he ever sing the pants off this song. His pitch is rock solid, he's in the pocket, and he is an amazing performer. While I still haven't forgiven him for how he sang Ring of Fire, I have to give the guy props, he has "it".

Matt Giraud: Stayin' Alive: I actually don't completely hate this. He really is Justin Timberlake's slightly less talented little brother (singing style on down to wardrobe). But for a guy from Kalamazoo, he's pretty good. My heart won't be broken if he goes home this week.

Anoop Desai - Dim All the Lights: Another ballad. The first two lines felt disjointed. The transition into the upbeat section was awkward. Even worse, he sang over the upbeat section as if he was still singing a ballad. He needed to have more punch in his voice and he needed to sing more rhythmically. Last note was embarrassing.

My prediction for Bottom 3:
Anoop Desai, Lil Rounds, Matt Giraud

Going home: Lil & Anoop

American Idol: Songs of Cinema.

I was so busy talking about my ladytown issues and va-jay-jays, I appear to have missed posting about American Idol this week. Fear not, I am still chalk full of opinions, if not a day or so late.

Alison Iraheta - I Don't Want To Miss a Thing: The more I hear this girl sing, the more I love her. Her phrasing, musicality and vocal quality are bananas. I wasn't crazy about the shortened arrangement, I would have liked to hear her sing the whole song.

Anoop Desai - Everything I Do, I Do it For You: Omg, I hate this song. Also, apparently Anoop wants to be the Indian Barry Manilow. If he does one more cheesy ballad I am going to pelt my television set with tampons.

Adam Lambert - Born To Be Wild: This was an interesting arrangement - definitely a new spin on a classic. Adam has a terrific pipes. Scott thinks he sounds like he should be on Broadway. I don't completely disagree, I mean the guy wears more makeup than I do. If he makes it to the final 2 it will be hilarious to see his rendition of whatever craptastic song American Idol writes for the first single.

Matt Giraud - Have You Really Ever Loved a Woman: I have never heard this song before. I thought this performance was pretty weak. I'm glad he went back to his piano though. The song seemed a bit rambley - he took too many liberties with the melody. I wasn't surprised that he was in the bottom 2.

Danny Gokie - Endless Love: I thought it was amazing that Quentin Tarantino told him not to make all the crazy hand gestures and to channel his energy into his voice. Danny wasn't able to do it during his performance, and he hit a pretty ripe note at the beginning of the song. I think this song was a little too close to home for Danny and he wasn't able to deliver as strong a performance as he would have liked. I also agreed that he should have done something new with the arrangement - nobody is going to top Lionel Richie doing Lionel Richie.

Kris Allen - Falling Slowly: I'm not familiar with this song. I think the key was wrong for him - especially in the verse section. The melody requires a huge range though, so I can see why he picked that key. It just didn't go anywhere for me and was low energy overall.

Lil Rounds - The Rose: Wtf?? The Rose?? Really?? Someone needs to sit this girl down and explain to her that she needs to start picking songs that will truly show off her R&B chops. And I don't mean taking a Bette Midler song and trying to church it up, I mean take an R&B song and sing the sh!t out of it. She is really lucky she wasn't the lowest vote getter as I don't think the judges would have saved her.

Bottom 2: Matt Giraud & Lil Rounds

Voted out: Nobody! The judges chose to save Matt, which I was a little surprised by. Next week 2 singers will get the boot. I hope Matt & Lil are in the bottom 2 again. That would be Lols!

American Idol: Song From the Year You Were Born.

Only 2 girls left out of the final 8? Oy. I really hope this doesn't end up being all dudes for the final 4. That would be bor-ing.

Danny Gokey - 1980 - Stand By Me: I didn't hear the melody once (this is a HUGE pet peeve of mine). The song Stand By Me was originally released in 1961, so I don't understand how this qualifies as a song from the year you were born. Unless Danny is a lot older than he looks? Anyway, the arrangement was completely over the top and the song was lost. People seem to like him though, so I doubt he will be in the bottom three.

Kris Allen - 1985 - All She Wants To Dance: Pretty good, not great. The vibe was different than what he has done before, I think he was trying to channel some Jamiroquai (unsuccessfully). Hate the pencil mustache. Gross.

Lil Rounds - 1984 - What's Love Got To Do With It: Finally a song that should be in her wheelhouse, but I agreed with Paula that she didn't make it her own. I wonder why she keeps picking songs that she can't put her mark on? Someone needs to help this girl out.

Anoop Desai - 1986 - True Colours: Risky...doing a chick song. Nice arrangement, but he changed the melody too much, and missed some of the key notes in doing so. Overall this was alright, but he doesn't seem to be able to find a balance between "party all the time" type songs and serious ballads. Might be time for Anoop to pack his bags.

Scott MacIntyre - 1985 - The Search Is Over: Another shmoopy love song. Playing electric guitar...interesting. Glad someone finally gave him a good haircut, but I am really, really, tired of listening to his sharp-ass voice.

Allison Iraheta - 1992 - I Can't Make You Love Me: I think this song is too old for her - I would have liked to hear her do something that rocked. This was a little cruise singerish for me, but the judges all loved it. Scott hipped me this video of Allison singing in a Spanish singing contest a few years ago. She has improved quite a bit since then.

Matt Giraud - 1985 - Part Time Lover: Why do people insist on trying to sing Stevie Wonder? This wasn't in the pocket, and he was all over the place rhythmically...the whole thing just didn't work for me. The judges loved it, I think they just want him to stick around and are trying to sway the vote. America, don't fall for it!

Adam Lambert - 1982 - Mad World: If you taped the show last night, you probably missed Adam's performance. I had to search for it online this morning and I'm glad I did. If this guy doesn't win, I'll be shocked. If he ends up in the bottom 3 because nobody saw his performance, the judges will absolutely save him. I mean, Simon gave him a standing ovation. SIMON! I know, unbelievable. Prior to this week, I wasn't completely sold on Adam, but he won me over this week. If you missed his performance, you can check it out here.

My predictions for tonight:

Bottom 3: Matt Giraud, Kris Allen, Anoop Desai

Going Home: Matt Giraud

American Idol: Itunes Hits Week.

Hey - look at this, I'm actually getting my post up in a timely matter this week! Maybe tonight I'll do a video blog of the results show...you can see my sour expression when Megan Joy doesn't get voted off.

Anoop Desai - Caught Up: I enjoyed Anoop's performance, but I question doing an Usher song. There really wasn't much room for interpretation. He basically did a good lift of the song, but that won't distinguish him from the pack. The background singers were just awful. I'm not sure what was going on there, but they were completely out of tune. This is the second week in a row that they have botched a song up. Hey American Idol producers - if you need some good background singers, I can send you a list - these ladies aren't up to snuff.

Megan Joy - Turn Your Lights Down Low: Oh Megan, I had such high hopes for you. I was thinking you could be like a Corinne Bailey Ray, but alas, I fear it is not to be. Your vocal affectations are becoming a joke, and your pitch, oh your pitch. I'd give you a bucket for you to carry your tunes in but I fear it wouldn't help. The folks at Votefortheworst.com are doing their damnedest to keep her around and I'm wondering how long the Sanjayesque fever can hold on.

Danny Gokey - What Hurts the Most: Judges loved it, but it didn't really do a lot for me. I am not familiar with the song, so that probably didn't help, and he just looked awkward, like his hand was glued to the mic stand or something. It will be interesting to see where he lands on the results show. I'm guessing he is safe for now.

Allison Iraheta - Don't Speak: I didn't know she played guitar. Her coolness factor just went up. I loved the Gwen tribute, though she did look a bit like she was dressed up for Halloween as a Flintstones character. Loved hearing Paula call her guitar her "axe". Lol. Paula, you are so hip.

Scott MacIntyre - Just the Way You Are: Thank dog he came to his senses and did a song by a dude. Enough with the singing of chick songs! His voice sounded so much better, right from the first "Don't Go Changin'...". Now I get the appeal of this guy. I think the main problem I still have with him is how he sings his vowels - they are all jacked up. "Love you just the way you AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(no "r")E. His mouth shape is wrong - it is far too wide to get the right vowel sound, and that makes him sing sharp. I very technical gripe I know, but I think a few lessons with a vocal coach would help him a lot.

Matt Giraud - You Found Me: I don't know this song, maybe I would have dug it more if I did? I know this guy can sing, and play, but I don't buy him as a rock star. This wasn't a standout performance for me. The judges agreed with me (of course they did).

Lil Rounds - I Surrender: A Celine Dion song? Cripes. I'm shocked that this counts as an Itunes hit! Why isn't Lil staying in her comfort zone of Mary J. Blige type songs that we all fell in love with her for? Instead she chose a little known Celine song, and dressed like someone's mom at an office Christmas party. I agree with Randy that she needs to bring back the swagger.

Adam Lambert - Play That Funky Music: Oh lawd. I thought the Roy Orbison look was just for last week's Motown performance. I know the Adam Lambert fans will love this, but I think he is turning into a caricature of himself with the screaming and gyrating. Perhaps AC/DC will hire him if their current singer chokes on his own vomit like the last one did. I bet he would rock the school boy uniform, shorts and all. Good for him for acknowledging the band for playing their asses off.

Kris Allen - Ain't No Sunshine: You know it's going to be good when a singer is selected to close the show. I didn't know Kris played piano as well as guitar - though I really wish they would have brought the grand piano back out, I'm not a big fan of keyboards. He is a very soulful singer, and one of the more talented singers in the competition. Scratch that, this guy is a true musician, he's going to do well no matter what happens with American Idol.

My prediction for Bottom 3: Matt Giraud, Anoop Desai, & Megan Joy (please!)

Going home: Matt Giraud (I know, I know, it should be Megan, but I have a feeling she'll be around for a bit more).

American Idol: Motown Week.

I had a hard time focusing on the singers this week because the camera kept panning back to Smokey Robinson sitting in the audience. Damn, Smokey - how much work have you had done on your face? You look like you got flash frozen in a wind tunnel. Is that your belly button in the middle of your forehead? Best part of the night? When Simon drew a mustache on Paula's face. LMAO.

Matt Giraud - Let's Get It On: I thought he started out really nicely, but I wish he would have kept his ass behind the piano. Nobody needed to see him do the white man dance, and he sings much better when he's playing piano.

Kris Allen - How Sweet It Is: Kris is really growing on me. I dig his guitar playing, his voice, his look. While Paula thought his last note was technically sound, I felt like it was really forced...that's really my only complaint.

Scott MacIntyre - You Can't Hurry Love: Oy. What is with singing the chick songs week after week? Enough. Also, the background singers were a mess.

Megan Joy - For Once In My Life: I agree with Randy, this was a train wreck. She sang much better when she had the flu.

Anoop Desai - Ooo Baby Baby: He did a nice job, crooned in tuned, but I was left feeling kind of bleh about this. I hope he brings back some personality next week.

Michael Sarver - Ain't Too Proud to Beg: Not nearly gritty enough, he really was just going through the motions. I get that he was sick, but I wasn't feeling it.

Lil Rounds - Heatwave: Bad wig. It took me half the song to get over it. There is no doubt in my mind that Lil is a terrific singer, but she keeps picking songs that are duds.

Adam Lambert - The Tracks of My Tears: This guy is a chameleon, and he really knows how to pick songs that show off his "artistry". I put that in quotes because I actually find him kind of cliched, but he is very talented.

Danny Gokey - Get Ready: I usually like Danny, but he didn't pull it out tonight. I think he was trying to make it fun, and I just wanted to hear him croon.

Allison Iraheta - Papa Was A Rolling Stone: This girl can sing the shit out of pretty much anything. She rocked this and proved why she is one of the only girls left in the competition.

Bottom 3: Matt Giraud, Scott MacIntyre and Michael Sarver. (I'm really surprised Megan Joy didn't end up in the bottom 3, as much as I like her.)

Voted off: Michael Sarver. It's about damn time.

American Idol: Grand Ole Opry Week.

I'm with Simon, country music doesn't do it for me. Well, I do have a soft spot for the Dixie Chicks, Willie Nelson, early Dolly, and Johnny Cash. But that's it, I swear. In the effort of full disclosure, I should also admit that I love the movie "Coal Miner's Daughter". Since I'm not a fan of the genre, I'm also not all that familiar with the songs that the contestants were singing, save a few. I think that made it hard for me to judge the songs, and explains why I predicted (and hoped) incorrectly that Michael Sarver would be sent packing. Oh well, maybe America will get it right next week.

Michael Sarver - Ain't Goin' Down (Til the Sun Comes Up): Apparently this is a Garth Brooks song. I'm guessing it's a lot better when Garth performs it. This song is the equivalent of Anoop's rendition of "Beat It" last week. It did nothing to show off his vocal range and he really didn't bring anything new to it.

Allison Iraheta - Blame it on Your Heart: Scott was hoping his girl would sing "Ring of Fire", but sadly, it wasn't to be. I enjoyed Allison's performance and I thought she stayed true to her sound but also showed that she can sing country with the best of them. I was surprised that she was in the bottom 3 - America - smarten up!

Kris Allen - To Make You Feel My Love: Another Garth song. Kris has a beautiful, pure, soulful voice. I didn't love the song choice, but again, I'm not familiar with it so I wasn't able to appreciate his interpretation.

Lil Rounds - Independence Day: Hated it as much as I hate the new Facebook layout. She really didn't do herself justice and I agreed with the judges that she would have been better off singing a song like "I Will Always Love You" (Dolly not Whitney).

Adam Lambert - Ring of Fire: I actually called Scott over to watch this with me. We both laughed our asses off at Randy Travis's reaction to Adam's version of this Johnny Cash classic. Scott was hoping Johnny Cash's zombie corpse would suddenly appear and eat Adam's heart right out of his chest as payback for butchering this song. It was so over the top and ridiculous, I was left in awe at the balls on this guy.

Scott MacIntyre - Wild Angels: Another chick song! Will he never learn? I continue to be bored with this guy. I find his voice very bland and he hides behind his piano.

Alexis Grace - Jolene: I think that Alexis's version of this song was all over the place. It is a vocally challenging song and it really doesn't leave a lot of room for interpretation (without turning it into a train wreck). I would have liked to see Alexis sing something grittier, and I guess America agreed.

Danny Gokey - Jesus Take the Wheel: Slow to start, but this guy has great pipes. I think he fell prey to the whole "singing a song by a chick" phenomenon. Let's hope he picks a song that sits better in his voice next week.

Anoop Desai - You're Always On My Mind: Beautiful. Anoop totally redeemed himself with this song. I'll be interested to see what he does next week (will he return to his good time vocals or stay serious and show off his instrument?).

Megan Joy - Walkin' After Midnight: How anyone can not smile when they hear this girl sing, I do not know. Plus she had the flu - amazing. I would have never known, and that is the sign of a true professional. She probably won't win, but I hope she gets signed - I'll buy her cd.

Matt Giraud - So Small: This guy seems kind of vanilla to me. Great piano player, nice voice, but he really doesn't knock my socks off. Again with the singing of chick songs - enough already!!

The highlight of the show for me was Carrie Underwood's hair. I do believe I spotted the first robin of the year building a nest in it. She sounded beautiful, but the hair...it was very distracting. Congrats to her for being inducted into the Grand Ole Opry - nice to see her talent recognized by her peers.

American Idol: Michael Jackson week.

I'm late to the party once again, but now that we're in the Top 13, I'm going to write a more comprehensive review of each of the performances. Once I get my Flip I may even video blog while I watch the show (then you'll really hear my uncensored thoughts!).

This week was Michael Jackson week. My goodness, America, y'all are a forgiving bunch with very short memories! While I agree that Michael is a talented guy, I'm not sure that if I were the producer of American Idol, I'd feel comfortable throwing this much support behind someone who has dangled his child out a hotel window and may or may not be a card carrying member of NAMBLA. Don't get me wrong, I have Thriller on my ipod...just, wow.

Lil Rounds - The Way You Make Me Feel: I knew she would tear it up and she didn't disappoint. Not sure about the white pants though. It looked like she had a pair of sweat socks jammed down the front and her butt looked as wide as a pie wagon. I lovely pie wagon, but a pie wagon nonetheless.

Scott MacIntyre - Keep The Faith: While I think this guy is a good piano player, I find his voice kind of boring, and his performance uninspired. I know, not cool to hate on the blind guy, but he ain't no Stevie, 'nuff said.

Danny Gokey - PYT: Danny has shades of Michael McDonald in his voice. I dig his vibe and he is very musical. He never over-sings, he's aways on pitch and he has stylin' glasses.

Michael Sarver - You're Not Alone: I find this guy kind of white bread and boring. I bet he got a lot of votes though.

Jasmine Murray - I'll Be There: I really dig this girl's voice and I think it is a shame that she got voted out so early. I never thought she would win the whole enchilada, but to go out in the first show while Anoop gets to stay? Seems like she got screwed to me.

Kris Allen - Remember the Time: This guy is super talented. He was a big Top 13 surprise in my opinion as he got almost no air time leading up to the Top 36. I loved his guitar playing and he did a great interpretation of this song, really making it his own.

Allison Iraheta - Give In To Me: Scott calls Allison "his girl", and I can`t blame him for rooting for her. She seems to have the whole package and she really made this song her own. I'm still trying to figure out how a girl that young manages to sing like she's been drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes for thirty years.

Anoop Desai - Beat It: I wish he would have picked a song that could have shown off his voice. "Beat It" is a pretty easy song melodically and the arrangement didn't give him any room to make it his own. Based on this performance, I would have sent him home, so he got very lucky. I doubt he'll get another free pass next week.

Jorge Nuñez - Never Can Say Goodbye: I found this song cheesy and boring. I'm not surprised he got voted out, and I'm happy I won't have to listen to him next week.

Megan Corkrey - Rockin' Robin: I am partial to this girl. She is pitchy as hell, but there is something quirky and lovable about her, and she has that great smile - I'm rooting for her.

Adam Lambert - Black or White: This guy has a voice that could do anything. I agree with the judges that he is completely relevant, and he can work a stage. I'm guessing he'll be around for a while.

Matt Giraud - Human Nature: This guy is pretty good, but I think his nerves got the better of him. He is a good piano player, but he uses it as a crutch to make up for a voice that isn't all there. He is definitely soulful, but he ain't no JT.

Alexis Grace - Dirty Diana: I agreed with the judges that she over sang. It was a good song choice though and she made it her own. I'd love to hear her reign it in a bit. With the power she has she could really hit it out of the park if she can figure out a way to get more control.

Minus the medley, this is one of the better top 12/13's I've seen on American Idol. It will be interesting to see who gets better week to week and who has already topped out. My hope is that the girls can hold their own, or else we'll get a repeat of last season.

American Idol: Wild Card Show.

This was by far my favourite show of the top 36. These singers brought their "A" games tonight and did themselves proud. I was thrilled to see Megan Joy Corkrey, Jasmine Murray, Matt Giraud and Anoop Desai make it through to the "top 13". While I am disappointed that Ju'Not Joyner didn't make it, I am relieved that the Tatiana torture is finally over. My dog that girl was annoying.

Now that the show is cast (we've got a blind dude, a Puerto Rican dude, Indian dude, big beefy white dude, and a metro-sexual dude, plus three more sweet crooning white dudes. The ladies include a soul sister, a diva/belter, teen rocker, teen R&B star, and Norah/Joni Jr. Makes for an interesting season. Sadly, Casey Carlson will not be gracing us with her cuteness.

Kanye West will be on next week's show - can't wait to see what that's all about. I'm sure it will be "amazing".

Allison Iraheta: A Star is Born.

In a week that teetered precariously between downright mediocrity and a sea of sucktitude, Allison Iraheta was the one bright light on American Idol. Inkie Fingers wrote a great recap of the show, and I pretty much agree with her, except I think she was too nice. Jeanine Vailes was horrible, Kai Kalama was karaoke personified, and Adam Lambert belongs in musicals, not on American Idol.

The one singer that stood out last night was 16 year old Allison Iraheta. While they didn't show much of her in the auditions leading up to the top 36, she is definitely a stand out. I'm not sure where that rockin' voice comes from, but this girl can sing. As Randy said, she "blew it out the box". Her rendition of "Alone" by Heart was incredible. While I can't predict if she'll win or not, I think she'll go far in the competition.

Another point I'd like to make is that in general, women should not sing songs that were originally written for men, especially not pop songs where the arrangement is pretty much a straight lift from the original. While I agree with Jennifer's point that the change in lyrics is ridiculous, I am coming at it more from a musical perspective. Songs written for men tend to sit higher in their range, so they have an impact and cut through (especially in the chorus). When a woman tries to sing the same song, it sits too low in her register and her voice gets lost in the mix, sounding muddy and lacking in energy. Prime examples from this past week's show are Jeanine Vailes singing a Maroon 5 song, and Mishavonna Hensen singing a Train song. Casey Carlson had the same problem last week when she attempted a Police song. When will these ladies learn?

Look for Megan Joy Corkrey and Matt Giraud in the Wild Card show. And for dog's sake, let's hope that next week's group pulls their musical socks up and doesn't waste our time like the majority of singers in this weak ass group. Sheesh.

Casey Carlson: When Pretty Young Things Can't Sing.

I'm a little late to the party this week, so instead of writing a whole rundown, I'm just going to write about everyone's favourite pretty young thing, Casey Carlson. Oy. Where do I begin?

Before you go thinking I'm hating on Casey Carlson because she is young, gorgeous, has the figure of a bikini model...(wait, she is a bikini model!), men of all ages salivate when they see her, she could be Mandy Moore's little sister, and she is just about as perky as can be, that is NOT why I am hating on her. I am actually dissing her because I am incredibly disappointed.

As Kara DioGuardi (who I love) aptly pointed out, Casey has the whole package. And while she isn't a fantastic singer, she can actually carry a tune in a bucket. She may not be the future Whitney Houston, but she could give Miley, Taylor, and Demi a run for their money. That is, if she had only picked the right song. Instead she picked the Police song "Every Little Thing She Has Is Magic". That's right up there with trying to sing Stevie Wonder, it just isn't done. For the life of me, I can't figure out why the producers of American Idol let her sing it. You'd think they'd want to keep her in the competition, for ratings if nothing else.

And the faces - my gawd! She looked like a show choir singer starring in an adult film. Looking at her, you'd think she'd be able to move, but nope, failing grade there as well. Jerky, awkward, and even squatting at points! And the winking, oh the winking. Could it get any worse? I guess we'll find out in a few weeks - I fully expect to see her in the wild card show, with a MUCH better song, hand picked by the producers. Book it, you heard it here first.

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Reality Check.

I am a big fan of reality television. I am currently watching The Biggest Loser and American Idol. Tomorrow, the latest season of Survivor kicks off, and I am ready. If inspired, I may even blog about each episode. I think this season is going to be a good one, and who can resist Peachy (Jeff Probst)?. In fact, I may even blog about American Idol (once they get down to the top 20). I love the new judge and I'm taking bets on how long it takes Paula to do something really wacky. And did I mention that America's Next Top Model starts up again in 3 weeks? 3 WEEKS! I can hardly contain myself. With the ups and downs of my reality as of late, I think I could use a pleasant distraction or four. Also...stay tuned for some very cool news coming tomorrow!

American Idol: Queen For a Day (and I'm not talking about Seacrest).

This is a great songbook for American Idol to use. Vocally challenging, strong melodies, what's not to like? Well, most of these songs are pretty long, so they were tough to fit into the short format. Otherwise, I enjoyed the show. I still think that this is a pretty weak top 8, but maybe I am just waxing poetic about past seasons. Just seems that we have seen stronger singers than we are seeing this year.

On with it:

Bucky Covington: Fat Bottomed Girls
Good song selection for Bucky. He makes everything sound like CCR though. The song kind of plodded along for me and it felt like he was just concentrating on getting the lyrics right. Also, I don't really believe that he likes fat bottomed girls.

Ace Young: We Will Rock You
They shouldn't let Ace talk too much...his brain really is an empty vessel. Lol - Ace trying to get Queen to play his crappy arrangement of We Will Rock You. Hah. I didn't hate the way he started but the backgrounds of "We will, we will rock you" were so weak that they didn't support the energy he was trying to convey. Bad choice on trying to change the melody, and I don't think the song ever really peaked.

Kellie Pickler: Bohemian Rhapsody
Wow - that's ballz picking this song. Nice boots! A bit pitchy to start, but once she started singing in her chest voice she sounded surprisingly good - she even added some grit that helped her rock out. The short arrangement was horrible though and the song didn't really make sense the way it played out. Like Ace, they should limit her talking time. Ouch - not a lot going on upstairs.

Chris Daughtry: Innuendo
I'm not surprised that Queen liked him. Interesting that they never performed this song live. He really was in his element singing this song. Pitch was on, he definitely rocked out. I think he would do much better singing in front of a band where he can interact with them, versus being by himself on stage. This guy has such a powerful voice, he is always going to blow everyone away in the rock category. I agree with Simon that it would have been nice to hear him sing one of their more well known songs.

Katharine McPhee: Who Wants to Live Forever
Ugh. Do we really need to hear the Disney version of this song? Poor Freddy, he's probably spinning in his grave. Now that we all know what Katharine's tonsils look like, we can sleep easy. She belongs in the Miss America pageant, not on American Idol. Also, who is doing her makeup? Linda Ronstadt's stylist?

Elliot Yamin: Somebody to Love
Gawd he is cheesy. I felt like he was about to spontaneously break into "Camptown Races". I felt zero soul in this rendition. I am really trying to find something to like about him, but I just can't. The short arrangement didn't help him either, but I just can't get over how much I dislike him. Maybe we knew eachother in a past life and he was mean to me?

Taylor Hicks: Crazy Little Thing Called Love
What a relief that he didn't sing We Are the Champions. The song he picked was a much better fit for him. I didn't mind his version of it, as long as I looked away from the tv. I can't handle his antics. But his vocal was one of the better ones of the night (can you believe I just said that?).

Paris Bennett: The Show Must Go On
Of course Queen liked Paris - she is one of the only finalists that can actually sing. She owned this song, she owned the stage, unapologetically. It was nice to see her break away from the R&B, and to see her do it so successfully. I hope America is smart enough to keep her on the show.

Worst Performances: Ace, Elliot, Katharine
Best Performances: Paris, Chris, Taylor

American Idol: Obscure songs of the 21st century.

As much as I was relieved to see that last night's American Idol was only an hour long, I knew that something had to give, and it wasn't going to be the number of commercials. Moving from a two hour format with 11 singers to a one hour format with 10 singers means one thing and one thing only - shorter song arrangements. The combination of these shorter song arrangements (basically verse-chorus-bridge-outro) and some very odd, safe song selections led to an underwhelming night of singing. Part of me was left wondering, why the hell don't the producers of American Idol help these singers out with their song selection? To just say "pick a song from the 21st century" is likely too much leeway. After a couple of weeks of being forced out of their comfort zones (Stevie Wonder and Songs of the 50's) each and every one of these singers picked songs that they were very familiar and comfortable with, regardless of if they would be songs that would showcase their talent or be something that the audience would connect with. It seems to me that most of these singers have not yet figured out the importance of picking songs that the masses are familiar with. We are not connected to these singers yet, so if they want our votes, they need to sing songs that we know and love and sing them well. I would have limited their selections to Billboard #1's of the 21st century. I'm just sayin' is all.

Here we go:

Lisa Tucker: Because of You
When I heard she was singing a Kelly Clarkson song that is still getting radio play I thought "uh oh that's going nowhere good". And I was right. For her to do this song, she needed to bring something special to it, she needed to sing it better than Kelly and that just wasn't going to happen. Her over belting forced her to sing slightly under pitch for the entire song and my throat ached just listening to her. Simon was dead on with his comment that "the song was too big for your voice". Much to big. Lisa, I hope you have your bags packed.

Kellie Pickler: Suds In the Bucket
I'm guessing that country music fans know this song? I'm not familiar with it, so I didn't feel the connection I did with last week's Patsy Cline cover. The song was cute and she sang it well (except that last note on "Loooooooooooooove" - that was pretty rank). I never understand why singers let a good song end on a bad note - pull it together and leave your audience wanting more! The song was not vocally challenging and didn't really show off her voice (we all know she can sing country). I would have liked to see her sing something a bit tougher like a Faith Hill or Shania Twain ballad. Then we would have been able to compare her to something we are familiar with, and figure out where she stacks up against the greats.

Ace Young: Drops of Jupiter
I had to laugh when Ace said he wanted to do something that rocked...lol...this rocks...if you're Coldplay. Again, not a challenging song, but I actually disagreed with the judges. I thought this was one of his better performances of the last three weeks. This genre suited his voice much better and I found him a lot more tolerable to listen to this week. Best part was Paula offering to inspect his scar a little closer - I guess she didn't learn her lesson from last season's scandal?

Taylor Hicks: Trouble
With six years of songs to choose from, this is the song he selects? I mean, I know Footloose was off the table, but this really was an odd pick. I suppose I should be happy that he stood still and didn't torture us with his horrible dancing. The song didn't go anywhere, it was a bad arrangement and the short song format didn't help matters. Hey Taylor - Jay Leno called and he wants his hair and chin back. 29 my ass.

Mandisa: Praise You
The key was too low for the first verse, though she got it sorted out when she vaulted into her upper register. We all know Mandisa has a great gospel voice and she reinforced it with her performance. If I were her, I would have done a song by Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, or Mary J. Blige. To sing something obscure like this didn't help her connect with anyone who doesn't already listen to a lot of gospel music (and those folks are already voting for her anyway). In addition, this song was never able to settle in with the short arrangement. It sounded like one verse plus a bunch of vocal improvisation - not something my ear was able to nail down and relate to.

Chris Daughtry: What If
Okay, so I absolutely loathe Creed. With every cell of my being... so it is hard for me to judge this song. He certainly rocked, but as Scott pointed out (Scott got stuck watching the show with me because dinner was ready just as American Idol came on - hah!) he seemed pretty stiff. When he got into the repetitive "What if, what if, what if" part of the song it sounded like he was a pregnant lady straining to have a bowel movement (too much information you say?). Again, not vocally challenging and definitely playing it safe. It will take more to win this than contest than performances like this.

Katharine McPhee: The Voice Within
Similar to Lisa's performance, if you are going to tackle a song by an artist with the talent of Christina Aguilera, you better be able to knock it out of the park. She started her performance in her upper register which sounded weak because it is actually a part of the song where Christina Aguilera is belting. It only succeeded in highlighting that she isn't in the same league as our favourite Lady Marmalade. If anything, this song gave me a lot more respect for the strength of Christina Aguilera's live performances. Katharine sang this at about 65% of the original - and again, the short arrangement killed her.

Bucky Covington: Real Good Man
This may shock you, but this was one of my favourite performances of the night. As much as I don't like Bucky's voice, this was the perfect song for him. It was mainstream enough that even I was familiar with it and it didn't tax him vocally or highlight his weaknesses. Since Bucky isn't a singer with a lot of vocal prowess, this is a good thing. He seemed relaxed and comfortable and that helped me sit back and enjoy his performance for what it was.

Paris Bennett: Work It Out
Paris is awesome. She is probably a better singer than Beyonce (live anyway) and she has great stage presence. She was the only singer all night who came out and nailed her song right from the start, straight through to the end. She might want to work on those dance moves, she and Beyonce should take some classes together (as Beyonce could also use some help in that arena). I think Paris's challenge in this competition will be singing with more emotional maturity (she's great when she is singing hip/upbeat songs, but I have yet to hear her dig deep and sing beyond her 17 years).

Elliot Yamin: I Don't Want to Be
I have a hate on for this guy. Plus he forgot some of the words right off the top. Boo. Yet again, he wasn't singing in the pocket. It's all well and good to switch up the rhythm of a song if you can stay in the groove and if it actually improves upon the original, but all he ended up doing was singing slightly behind (two-shoes-in-a-dryer syndrome). He seemed almost out of breath as well. Perhaps those bad hip hop dance moves (bouncing on the spot) wore him out. I got tired just having to watch and listen to him.

Worst Performances: Lisa, Katharine, Taylor
Best Performances: Paris, Mandisa, Bucky

American Idol: To Barry Manilow (and all your cheesy ass stylin').

Last night's theme was music from the 50's - a much more singer friendly theme than last week's Stevie Wonder debacle. Barry Manilow was the artist in residence who was there to supposedly coach/inspire the singers. Turns out that all he did was shill his new Greatest Hits album and add in unnecessary key changes to almost every song. Thanks for that Barry. Because of you I had to endure 2 hours of over the top song endings and key modulations that would make a Band Arranging 101 professor cry.

Okay, on with it:

Mandisa: I Don't Hurt Anymore
This woman can sing, there is no denying it and this was a fantastic song choice for her. She was in her comfort zone and knocked it out of the park. She is one of those singers that really has no vocal limitations and her only challenge is reigning in all that power. To top it off she has incredible stage presence and oozes personality. One of my favourites to go the duration for sure.

Bucky Covington: Oh Boy
Dude. I don't think he hit the right notes on the words "all my love" (think "trumpet/taps") once. His pitch was all over the place and his gravely voice is really working my last nerve. Thanks to Barry we were treated to a gratuitous key change that added nothing to the song. I completely agree with Simon on this one on the karaoke/"so what" comments. Bucky's days are numbered (if America has any kind of sense...).

Paris Bennett: Fever
Right off the bat I was wondering if she could keep this song reigned in before she blew the doors off (I call this Celine Dion syndrome - starting at 95% and quickly escalating to 200%). She did a pretty good job, though I thought there were some weird rhythmic things going on that made her sound not quite in the pocket. In the second half of the song she completely lost the melody and made some poor note choices (speaking strictly from a jazz perspective). But she's too young to know that and I doubt most people have the training/ears to even understand what I am talking about. Just trust me. Still a favourite though - the girl has a great voice and spunk.

Chris Daughtry: Walk the Line
He started out really well but completely missed the low note on "Because your MINE". Gotta hit that note dude - it's what makes the song. Anyway, I do like Chris as a singer/performer, I think he'll likely go quite far in the competition - but - I do take issue with his cover/interpretation of this classic. The thing about covering a song, is you are supposed to do two things: the first is make it your own, the second is pay tribute while respecting the key elements of the song. He altered this song so much that I wouldn't have even recognized it if they hadn't told me what he was singing. There is a reason the song was written the way it was and he pretty much just rewrote the melody using the same chord structure. But the judges loved it and they think he is being "true" to himself and that he is an "artist". I just can't wait to see what he does when he has to sing a show tune (I'm picturing a thrash metal version of "Pennies From Heaven"!).

Katharine McPhee: Come Rain or Come Shine
I think Katharine is a great performer and has a nice big voice, but she has some weird vocal quirks that she needs to work on. At the beginning of her song she was doing something weird with her jaw that made her voice sound a bit strange and messed up her vowels - I think she likes the overly stylized/Liza Minnelli sound this produces, but it doesn't work on her. I thought her performance was very Vegas/Miss America Pageantish. The band was awesome and it was a real big band arrangement which I don't think she capitalized on at all. Her last note was horribly out of tune. Wow - am I being hard on these singers or what? Bottom line is that America will love this girl for all of her cheesy-Kathy-Lee-Gifford qualities and she'll be in the final 5 for sure.

Taylor Hicks: Not Fade Away
I just don't get this guy's appeal. He truly is a cross between Kenny Loggins and Michael McDonald - with all the cheesy moves and über white guy appeal to go along with it. By the way - why aren't there any black men in the top 12 this year? How can that be? In fact, aren't they all about as vanilla as you can get? No Latin flava either? What the funk? I have nothing to say about Taylor except that his song didn't go anywhere and I wish he would stand up straight for once. He'll probably do decently in the competition because all the old people will vote for him because they feel like he is their peer. Silver fox my ass.

Lisa Tucker: Why Do Fools Fall In Love
What the hell was she wearing? She looked like something Banarama threw up. She started out a little behind the beat and out of sync. I think she never really recovered from the weak start. The band arrangement really distracted from the vocals, and it didn't help that she forgot the words. Clearly her nerves got the best of her as she delivered what was easily the weakest performance of the evening. Bottom three for sure, if not a ticket home.

Kevin Covais: When I Fall In Love
Singing softly and intimately does not mean singing with no support. Chicken Little also sang with way too much vibrato and was really pitchy throughout. The song never went anywhere and at times I thought he sounded like a little lamb bahing at the moon. I know that he has the Clay Aitken fan club supporting him, so unfortunately we're going to be listening to this little runt for quite a while, which truly saddens me. Also? Who's Hugh? "When I Fall in Love with Hugh?". Maybe he's more like Clay Aitken than I thought...

Elliot Yamin: Teach Me Tonight
I almost snorted my Perrier through my nose when Barry Manilow told him to try back phrasing a little. This guy is so white he couldn't back phrase his pickup truck into a parking spot let alone phrase something behind the beat. I find Elliot incredibly unmusical - his word stresses are completely wrong and of course we got treated to yet another unnecessary key change. Argh! His closing vocal riff was brutal - I don't understand why the judges love this guy so much. While he may be able to belt out a few high notes, he is as musical as a tree frog.

Kellie Pickler: Walkin' After Midnight
Has Barry Manilow never seen "Coal Miner's Daughter"? How can he not know this song? Regardless, this was a great choice for Kelly to sing. I'm not sure she captured the melancholy nature of the song, but she certainly delivered a strong vocal performance. Another key change out of nowhere - and it threw her off a little, so it really didn't help things. Also, she's a little dim in the brains department...they probably shouldn't let her talk so much. I think she'll make it to about the half way mark in this competition. We don't need another Carrie Underwood just yet.

Ace Young: In the Still of the Night
While Ace is definitely the cutie of the competition I think his talent is limited. This was a pretty wishy washy vocal delivery, with a bit of Vegas stylin' thrown in for good measure. Also, he was doing something weird with his mouth (singing out the side of it?) that really impacted his vowels and pitch. I'm not sure why they decided to close the show with him, maybe because they made him go first last time? I'd put him in the bottom three again.

Worst Performances: Lisa, Bucky, Ace
Best Performances: Mandisa, Paris, Chris

American Idol: To Stevie with Love (and apologies).

This is the first American Idol episode I have watched this season. I don't dig on watching a bunch of bad singers get dissed and I don't have enough time to watch Simon et al vet out all the hopefuls to get down to the final 12. So, I am coming at this with no background as to how these singers have performed in previous weeks, I have no connections, I have no idea how much progress anyone has made or if they just had a bad night last night. Nothing.
My first thought in watching the show was "Holy shit, they are making these guys cover Stevie Wonder songs their first night out of the gate?" This seems like a bad idea to me for a few reasons.

1) Stevie Wonder writes some of the hardest material to cover on the face of the earth (he sings it brilliantly and nobody else should ever really try).

2) For the most part, these songs are written for him to sing, and he is a tenor. This means that they don't translate well in other keys so women will have a hard time sounding good covering his material. More on this later.

Okay, my review of last night's performances:

Ace Young: Do I Do
Talk about a porno name, eh? Ace Young? Nice. I thought he started out with high energy and overall he has a good voice. He just never owned the song, he couldn't seem to wrap his voice around it. Also, he's a bit earnest for my liking. Keeners to the back of the bus!

Kellie Pickler: Blame It On the Sun
Carrie Underwood called and she said "you suck!". This was really hard to listen to. She sang with low energy overall and just sounded like she hated the song. I understand that she typically sings country, but man, thank gawd for the short song arrangements. This is a good example of point #2.

Elliot Yamin: Knocks Me Off My Feet
Nice bangs dude. Did you mom cut them for you? This guy is hard to watch. He's the white guy that they let sing in the black gospel choir because he really loves Jesus. I bet Stevie was thinking "damn, how you gonna let some fool mess up my song like that?".

Mandisa: Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing
One name, eh? That's pretty confident, no? She was pitchy at the start but seemed to sing more in the pocket when she got into her higher register. Again, point #2 - it is hard for women to sing songs meant for tenors without completely reworking the melody.

Bucky Covington: Superstition
This is the point in the show where I really started to question my decision to commit two hours of my life to review these singers. Is this really the best that America has to offer us? That said, of all the singers so far, Bucky did the best of making the song his own, gravely voice and all.

Melissa McGhee: Lately
Yet another woman sounding pitchy and low energy, gee, what a surprise. She shouldn't be sitting down at all given this song is already challenging for her. All that does it restrict her breathing and she needs all the help she can get. I thought this performance was brutal, but the judges seemed to like it. A clear case of them hearing something different than what is coming across to the viewers at home.

Lisa Tucker: Signed, Sealed, Delivered
If I were at Healey's, I'd think, "she's a pretty good karaoke singer". But this is American Idol, so I'm thinking "she's pretty weak in her upper register" and she's trying to rock out but it just isn't happening. Again, the judges are hearing something different in the studio than we are hearing at home. This performance didn't translate for me.

Kevin Covais: Part-time Lover
Lol. The fact that this little guy even picked this song is funny. He is the white Erkle. At least he seems to have a sense of humour about it. I can't really hate this guy, it's like watching your little brother at a talent show. You cringe, but hope he does okay.

Katharine McPhee: Until You Come Back to Me
What the hell was she wearing? Regardless, this is the first singer tonight who has actually sang in the pocket. She made a smart choice to sing a song written for a woman to sing, it was actually in a good key for her. I didn't even mind the little bit of twang she added in, I was so happy to hear someone sing decently.

Taylor Hicks: Livin For the City
How old is this dude? I feel like they let Michael McDonald into a high school talent show or something? Isn't there an age limit on this show? He dances like the old people at weddings. Just. Stop.
Paris Bennett: All I Do
She owned this song right off the bat and her voice has an edge to it that works for her. I loved her energy throughout the song and this was by far my favourite performance of the night. The singing during her little Seacrest interview was a bit much, but whatevs.

Chris Daughtry: Higher Ground
This guy has a great rock voice and made a wise choice in terms of song selection. He sang in tune, and didn't try to do all the crazy vocal runs that other singers fell victim to in tonight's show. I didn't love the whole dragging the mic stand around the stage bit, but I always think that looks odd. I'll be interested to see what he does next week.

Worst Performances: Kellie, Elliot, Bucky
Best Performances: Katharine, Paris, Chris

Pocket Aces on American Idol.

So before I forget - did you see the top 10 idol contestants in the audience? Was it just me or is Jessica Sierra preggers? Also, what did Anwar do to his hair? Boy I have missed Nadia and I sure didn't miss Mikalah (you aren't fooling anyone with that blonde hair missy!).

One thing I will never understand about American Idol is why they move away from their formula of success on the last show. What people connect with is hearing songs they know sung by singers they either like or loathe. I understand that these noname songs may or may not be the winner's first single, but nobody knows them, not even the judges like them, and they are always, without fail, shitty ballads that have no shelf life. Does anyone remember Kelly Clarkson's first single? Yeah, me neither. Let's dive in.

Round 1 - The flop.

Bo Bice - "The Long, Lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng Road" (OPS*)
Have I mentioned yet that I hate it when they make the finalists learn these weak ass "originals"? They are always ballads, the singers always sing them really tentatively because they are so fearful they will forget the words, and they are always, without fail in the wrong key for the singer. Add to that gratuitous key changes, an unnecessary choir, and songs that are more than two octaves in range and you have a disaster waiting to happen. WILL THEY NEVER LEARN? In addition, after singing for like a million weeks straight, days of rehearsals, and the stress of it all, the finalists sound exhausted and Bo was no exception. He was lucky if he only sang half of the notes in that song flat and got half of them in tune (and those were flukes). Especially weird was that the judges were critical of Bo's song "choice". Ummm...what did he have to choose from? I'm willing to bet that OPS* was the best of the pile.

Carrie Underwood - "Inside Yer Heaven" (OPS*)
Continuing on the theme of "You can spray paint a turd gold but it's still a turd", Carrie got stuck with yet another OPS*. She sounded like she was sight singing at a church choir rehearsal. WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME? And for the second time this night we were inflicted with a badly written key change that made her sound like a yelping baby seal. Note to the American Idol song writers - the American National Anthem isn't even 2 octaves - why, oh why do you "compose" (and I use that word loosely) these pieces of tripe with unreasonable ranges that force these singers into the stratosphere? Did anyone else notice that Carrie was noticeably shinier by the end of that song? Somebody get that girl some face powder.

Round 1 Results - Zero/Zero Draw (hence the "flop")

Round 2 - the turn.

Bo Bice - Vehicle (Singer's choice of song from previous week)
I think I missed the "70's week" when Bo sang this. While everyone is enjoying is performance they are totally missing how forced his voice sounds and how worn out he looks. I suppose I should just be glad he didn't sing acapella. And big surprise, the judges are kissing his ass again. Enough already!

Carrie Underwood - Independence Day (Singer's choice...)
If that first song made you doubt that Carrie can sing, this song was a strong reminder that not only can she sing hella good, she is going to sell a lot of albums and make someone a lot of money (not her, with that shitty contract she's going to be forced into). The last note was wicked flat, but as I said before, at this point in the competition both the singers are lucky they can even speak let alone belt out three songs in one night. Interesting how the judges told her she should be "proud at how far she came" and once again, Simon is the only one who can actually hear what the tv audience is hearing at home.

Round 2 Results - Bo wins (getting better...)

Round 3 - the river.
Bo Bice - "Inside Yer Heaven" (OPS*)
Dude is ready to be done with singing these cheesy power(ish) ballads already. This was one half-assed, half-hearted, rendition, but I can't even blame him. He's holding onto that mic stand like it is his security blanket. Bo's singing was so mechanical on this song that I think he was emoting to the teleprompter. He sounded like raw meat by the end and I do believe that Randy is fucking deaf. How can you say that this was any better than Carrie's version?? The only reason you like it any better this time is that you have had the benefit of already hearing it before since she had to sing it first, DAWG!

Carrie Underwood - "Angels Brought Me Here" (OPS*)
Big shocker, another ballad, and more choir. This was likely the least shitty of the OPS* songs sung tonight. Like Bo, Carrie's voice was shot by the end, but she pulled through (even though she looked like her face was going to crack). Her voice broke on the last note which was unfortunate (not the last thing you want America to hear before they head to the phones). Once again, the Randy and Paula were super patronizing, and Simon aptly pointed out that Bo is much older and has a lot more experience, but she could still win.

Round 3 Results - Carrie wins (are those tears I see?)

So, that's Round 1 as a draw, Round 2 to Bo, and Round 3 to Carrie. Bottom line is that both of these guys can sing, though Carrie is likely the better actual singer of the two. Bo is a better performer though, and he has that whole sexy rocker thing going for him. The other thing is that there has never been a white male American Idol and I am sure America can't have that! My prediction is that...Bo will win by a "fairly" close margin, but it wouldn't break my heart if I was wrong. Regardless, between now and tomorrow these two need to take a vow of silence, wrap their tired throats in scarves and drink gallons of green tea. Dr.Feline's orders!

*OPS = Original piece of shit

And then there were three.

This week the final three contestants on American Idol had to sing three songs each - a Clive Davis pick, their own pick, and a judge's pick. This is the only week they had a celebrity judge this season, which was good, because all of the previous celebrity judges were full of shit and just happy someone was singing their tunes. Clive knows his stuff and gave good feedback, so I'm okay with him as a judge (better than Paula who thinks everyone is the cat's ass). Anyway, I think I managed to capture it all (3 pages of notes holmes!), so here we go:

Round 1: Clive Davis' pick

Vonzell Solomon - I'll Never Love This Way Again
Our girl started out a little pitchy and never really solidified the notes. I think she was just nervous, which affected her support, which made her sing a bit flat and with low energy. She also pulled a Mariah Carey by starting the song at 95% and then blowing the doors off and ending at 150% (way too much). Thing is, she also got stuck with a very difficult song (harder than Bo and Carrie's) and going first has got to be rough. I agree with Clive that you can't sing this song with a whimsical twinkle in your eye (but she can't help it 'cause she's just so damn cute!).

Bo Bice - Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me
Buddy started out SO STRONG. I was sitting there thinking, damn dude, you go! But as the song progressed, I felt like the arrangement went kind of Disney (what is with the synths and horn overkill?). Scott thinks he is overdoing it on the sunglasses...but he is kind of a rockstar, so I'll give him some slack. The judges are doing enough ball licking to please a neighbourhood of unneutered hounds (yes, we get it, you lurve him and you want him to win and you really believe he will win). Cripes almighty and there are still 7 more songs to go!

Carrie Underwood - Crying
In case you are wondering, she did the KD Lang version of the song and she sang it beautifully. This is probably the best vocal I have heard her do - she was believable and sincere. I don't agree with Clive and Simon that she should have done the octave jump at the end like Roy Orbison - they forget that he was a tenor - that may work in a guy's vocal range, but not in a woman's (not in that key anyway).

Round 1 Winner - Singing - Bo
Round 1 Winner - Performing - Bo

Round 2: Singer's pick

Vonzell Solomon - Chain of Fools
Baby V seemed a lot more comfortable singing this song. She worked the stage and sang a perfect vocal. I think most people don't get how hard that is to do because they usually hear studio recordings and "live" performances that are lipsynched. Don't kid yourself, Vonzell is a better singer than Beyonce or any other R&B singer her age who is currently on the charts. To sing this well, this consistently shows she has got the goods. I don't agree with Clive that she missed the "soulful essence" of the song, but whatev.

Bo Bice - Within A Dream
What a wanker. I totally hate it when singers get all full of themselves and decide to sing solo acapella. While it was certainly impactful, it would have been so much more musical if he had sang it with guitar or even just bass and drums. I don't think he ended in the same key he started and the ending kind of fell apart as well.

Carrie Underwood - Makin' Love Out of Nothing At All
Definitely the cheesiest song of the night - I think she was channeling Meatloaf...I am not sure what possessed her to pick this song - she certainly sang it powerfully. I didn't find it musical at all, but the judges liked it.

Round 2 Winner - Singing - Vonzell
Round 2 Winner - Performing - Bo (wank wank wank)

Round 3: Judge's pick

Vonzell Solomon - On the Radio (Simon)
I could watch Vonzell perform all night - she really is the most likeable contestant. This really is the type of music she should record. The transition from the beginning into the upbeat tempo was off, but otherwise, what's not to like?

Bo Bice - Satisfaction (Paula)
Scott and I are both tired of this song getting covered. What is with the cheesy porno/wedding song bass and Vegas horns? I think the band is punishing Bo for not using them in Round 2. He was so busy running around the stage that he didn't sing the "I can't get no" part of the song in tune - not even once. I am sure that the Stones are somewhere rolling their eyes...or is that a joint?

Carrie Underwood - Man I Feel Like a Woman (Randy)
This is a good song for her, but she sang it in the original key and it is too low for her. The band was way overpowering - which is too bad because I think for the most part she sang very well and had a lot of fun on stage.

Round 3 Winner - Singing - Carrie
Round 3 Winner - Performing - Bo

Conclusion:
At this point in the competition there really aren't any bad singers left (except for the first season when that redhead rocker chick (Nicky?) made it into the top 3...that was a travesty). The judges are clearly rooting for Bo to win overall, and then Carrie in second place. I think Bo took the night overall (the best "Performer"), but Carrie is the best singer. Vonzell is the most likeable and one helluva a singer and therefore should not be discounted. American has been on the crack before, so it will be interesting to see what happens tomorrow.

One of these things is not like the other.

And I'm not talking about Vonzelle, so hush. We're down to the final four y'all (yeeeeeeehawwwwww). Since my bestfriend Jennifer is teaching tonight (and missing American Idol AND The Amazing Race), I thought the least I could do is give a detailed recap, so here we go:

Country Set:
Carrie Underwood - If this category didn't favour Carrie, I'll eat my hat. She sang a terrific version of "Sin Wagon" (by my favourite country band - The Dixie Chicks). What she lacks in personality (do you really buy that she's mattress dancin' with anyone?...well, maybe Bo...) she makes up in voice. What's up with the wardrobe - did she borrow that shirt from Bo?

Bo Bice - He should have knocked this out of the park, but it was really mediocre. I didn't even catch the name of the song...whatev, it's country, and it was "meh". I liked his hair though...looks like a stylist gave him some goo for those pesky flyaway hairs...

Vonzell Solomon - I knew something was up when she sang the whole damn song flat and without any kind of emotion...I figured she was just super bummed that they were making her sing a Trisha Yearwood song ("How Do I Live Without You") but I think that Paula was trying to earn her the sympathy vote by asking "are you feeling okay today?" to which Vonzell replied "It's been a really stressful day..." [floodgates/tears ensue]. Okay, now I feel bad for her...awhh...I gotta cut her some slack. I think there is something going on, maybe family related?

Anthony Federov - Nice jean jacket ensemble dude. Scott called it when he said "he's just aggressively average". I wish he would learn how to gesture with more than his right hand (there's a joke there that I'm going to leave be...). I think he has a great career ahead of him singing Disney movie songs...in Russian, on the extended feature dvd. The best is that when he finished, it was so clear that none of the judges like him. Me neither!

Phili Set:
Carrie Underwood - I think that Simon was right and that the arrangement of "If You Don't Know Me By Now" was pretty weak. Regardless, she had no flow, and she sang like she was worried she was going to forget the words. It is obvious to me that most weeks she has been singing songs that she has known for a long time and is really comfortable with (ie - Sin Wagon). Not the case here, but the band kind of threw her under the bus with that shitass rendition.

Bo Bice - Dude knocked it out of the park on this one. I was too excited about how awesome he was to write down what he sang...but he can rock out and sing blues better than anyone on this show...he definitely positioned himself as the one to beat tonight.

Vonzell Solomon - Her dad must have come back stage at the break and helped cheer her up, because while she wasn't her usual chipper self, she still sounded great on "Don't Leave Me This Way" (you go girl!). I don't think any of us doubt that she can sing hella good, just a matter of if her fans get off their asses and call in and vote for her.

Anthony Federov - I am totally not cool with that fact that he and Carrie both sang "If You Don't Know Me By Now". Lots of songs to choose from guys - wtf? Also, he got a way better arrangement, so that is not cool either. Simon nailed it when he said this guy has "no soul". Word. And if you were wondering which of these things is not like the other - it's Anthony. The rest have talent...him, not so much.

You may have been a good smuggler, but now you're Bantha fodder.

American finally got it right and turfed that pompous fucker Scott Savol. I wanted to throw my beer at the TV screen when he started waddling towards the couch, praising the lord the whole way. You ass-hat. God has bigger problems than you (hard to believe, eh?). I'll give Anthony credit for knowing what's what and I loved the look on Scott Savol's face when Anthony whispered, "it isn't over, we aren't safe". At least he knows that their time is limited. He'll go next week, and he knows it. Happy Birthday dude - you're safe for now.

In my opinion, Carrie or Bo will win this thing. I think it is interesting how clear the psychographic split is with the final four:

Carrie Underwood - Country music fans all the way. Like Bo and Vonzelle, she has stayed true to her style throughout the competition, (Constantine's downfall).

Vonzell Solomon - R&B music fans all the way, plus the urban crowd. She reminds me of when Whitney first started her career (remember how nice and sincere and pure of heart she was?).

Bo Bice - Rock & Roll fans rejoice. I think it is pretty fabulous that he is a true rocker - drugs and all. He's the real deal, and should give Carrie some how-to-rock-the-mic-stand lessons.

Anthony Fedorov - Clay Aitken fans need something to listen to. Anthony looked like such a dirt bag in his jeans and t-shirt tonight. He'll have to pull off a miracle next week if he wants to stay in the competition.

On a final note, I think the group songs are extraordinarily awful. That rendition of "Bridge Over Troubled Water" made me angry. It was like they were running through it for the first time - and the part where the ladies sang together proved that just because you can sing as a soloist does not mean you have the ears to sing in harmony. This is why instrumentalists look down on singers and think they are dumb. I should start a petition or something...