Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Choirs and Trumpets and Strings (on my!).

Brooke is ready to go deep sea fishing (get it?)On last night’s show the producers of Rockstar tried to up the ante by bringing in a gospel choir, strings, and horns. While the strings and horns proved to be an effective addition, as you will read in this post, the choir sucked big donkey bollocks. Brooke upped the trampy/hawty factor by sporting white hip waders and a macramé plant holder for a necklace (I think I should do a retrospective of her wardrobe once this is all over – we can vote on her best, worse, sluttiest, and most conservative clothing choices for the season).

The half hour show that I no longer actually believe exists featured a test for the remaining six. They had to learn a new INXS song and record it, with INXS producing it. Anyone who has actually sang in a studio environment knows that this is an excellent test as singing live and singing in a studio are two completely different ballgames. Apparently (and no surprise here), J.D. was cocky [shock!] and didn’t bother to learn the song. He went into the studio expecting them to coddle and spoon feed him and he ended up fucking it all up. Oakville represent! I’d award him a dickwad point or two, but he is so far ahead of everyone else that I think there is no point. Seems like Suzie, (who continues to surprise me), nailed it. I guess her experience singing Marineland jingles paid off. Seriously though, seems like she sings INXS songs really well, and the band really sees her as a professional, so who knows – maybe she has a shot after all.

Ty – You Can’t Always Get What You Want
We all know that Ty sings soul well, no doubt about it. I’d hazard a guess that he probably has more soul than a bunch of old craggy Aussie rockers require. At this point of the show, I was thinking the choir was being completely underutilized, I mean, a vocal-choral break in the chorus would have added something to the arrangement (like a “You can’t always get what you want, you can’t always get what you want…”). Whatever, it didn’t happen. As the show wore on I realized that the choir completely sucked (or maybe they just weren’t given good arrangements or enough prep/rehearsal time?). Dave N. and the band liked it, though they once again referred to it being a great “show” which makes me wonder if they are subtly referring to Ty’s stage experience (more Broadway than rock ‘n roll).

J.D. – Suspicious Minds
Why I am not surprised that J.D. used to be an Elvis impersonator? Oddly appropriate really, lip curl and all. The pre-pubescent gospel choir started wearing on my nerves right about now, they were just HORRIBLE. I didn’t love the speeding up double time at the end of the arrangement either. Also, he got pretty out of tune by the end – a lot of singers do this though. They get to the end of the song and they’re all “wankwankwankwankwank”. You know what I mean, vocal gymnastics take over – one last chance to show you “I can sing fancy” (Beyonce is the absolute master of this). Dave N. said it was pretty good, though an odd choice. I didn’t get the feeling that the band loved it. J.D.’s whole bad attitude schtick may finally be getting old (about time as he is off the dickwad scale!).

Marty is super fine all the time!Marty – Wish You Were Here
I like this lower, softer voice that Marty featured last night. It is very beautiful and intimate – a huge contrast to the supersonic rocking we have seen from him in past weeks. Once again the choir proved to be fucking useless. I like that he kept it low key throughout and didn’t go bonkers at the end. He was very emotional at the end, which was hawt (love a man in eyeliner tearing up). Dave N. and INXS loved it (J.D. looked pretty sulky as they heaped on the praise and I loved that even more!).

Jordis' dad is super cute!Jordis – Imagine
I’m glad that Jordis played guitar – nice touch. Her hair looked awesome (kind of Princess Leah with dreads). I was a bit worried at the start of the song, because it sounded like it was sitting in a weird part of her range, but I think it was just because she started out softly. She built into the chorus beautifully and for the first time on this show, she gave me chills (or maybe that was the ceiling fan). Dave N. and the band gave her a standing ovation and heaped the praise on her. Good save after such a piss poor outing last week. Her dad was in the audience and he is hella cute! I wonder what her background is – seems like she has some flava going on.

Mig – Live and Let Die
Damn is he ever cute! I loved the cheesy band backgrounds in the slow section. The horns and the strings sounded awesome as well – I hope these singers know how lucky they are to be singing with such awesome musicians. I think that Mig could sing anything, and I’m glad he didn’t choose Bohemian Rhapsody. Dave N. loved it, INXS liked it, though they commented that he sang through the instrumental breaks. That didn’t bother me and I didn’t find it distracting at all. Mig really can do no wrong in my eyes though. Did I mention how hawt he is?

Mama Mia Mama Mia!Suzie – Bohemian Rhapsody
I was a little concerned when Suzie picked this song. I thought it might go the way of Jordis’ awful performance of Dream On last week. Suzie came through though and did a top notch job. The band did a kickass job supporting her too – without them pulling their weight that vocal section would have fallen apart. I couldn’t help but notice that she didn’t sing over the instrumental breaks, and she was downright sassy in the “Let Me Go” section. Dave N. and the band ate it up, as they should. We’ll see if this keeps her out of the bottom three this week.
Down to 6 - who will it be?
With only six singers left, it is getting tougher to predict the bottom 3. I have to believe that the band has some idea of who they think is a fit so it will be very interesting to watch tomorrow’s show to see not only who is in the bottom three, but what sort of comments they make about the performances.

Bottom 3 at the end of the show: J.D., Ty, Marty
Kat’s Bottom 3: J.D., Ty, Marty


  1. J.D. is a complete wanker and should totally be the one to go. I will be crazy sad if Marty is in the bottom three. Love the eyeliner. Love the softer voice. Definitely a yum factor there.

  2. I hope he isn't in the bottom 3 either, I am just worried that his song was so low key, some people won't find it compelling

  3. Just an aside:

    "Florida gets to work cleaning up after Katrina."

  4. Awh, guhbye Tye! I wish it had been J.D. but we all know you weren't right for their band. And it isn't because you are black either (despite what you think). You have too much soul, and you are meant for Broadway!

  5. ahhhh - so sad that my original man Ty is gone! I missed this episode and if it wasn't for your fantastic blog, would not have known so quickly that the colour has drained from our contestant pool. It's sad that J.D. made it through because his behaviour lately just make me want to smack him and NOT in a good way.

    The performance show was SO HOTT this week. It was actually rivetting in many places. So if we just kick out J.D. (its gotta be next week) then we have a 2 gals + 2 guys = a whole lotta hotness to fight for the finish.

    Personally, its gotta be Mig. I think Marty is too into his "own, modern" sound to really fit with INXS in the end. I really can't see Jordis on tour with a band of 40-year-olds. Suzie does INXS tunes really well (and recently made my friend J a rockstar convert with her bohemian performance) but I still don't see a woman fronting the band. Which leave Mig - the sexy, can sing anything, is the right age, will make we want to buy tickets frontrunner.

    Whew, ok, I'm done!

  6. Raye - bottom 3 was Ty, J.D., and Jordis (I forgot to mention that in my comment).

    In addition to being the best fit, and an Aussie, Mig has also NEVER been in the bottom 3! Go Mig!

  7. Boots up over the jeans to the thighs - UG.LY!