Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Rockstar INXS: Can-Con stands strong.

Every blog post should really start with a hott pic of Brooke BurkeQuick synopsis of Monday's half-hour of rocker posturing before I jump into the reviews of last night's most eXcellent show:

I wonder how drunk the show's producers get the rockers before they roll camera? Also, are they drinking beer out of those red coloured wine glasses? Kinda sudsy for merlot. Totally cheesey family moment with Marty's sister shows up. Wtf is this, Survivor? They are holed up in a fuckin' mansion in LA for gawd's sake, not the middle of Africa. Also, she has letters for him? Correct me if I'm wrong, but they all have cell phones. Whatever. I really need to stop watching the Monday night show. The only redeeming thing was the little vocal clinic with Ron Anderson (never heard of him). The whole hold your jaw, stick your tongue out bit is pretty standard (so, I'm saying he isn't some vocal guru, he is just a singing teacher). I guess if you have never had lessons before that stuff would be earth shattering, but I don't buy it. I didn't get the humm and swallow thing, that just makes no sense. I LOVED that Brandon was all "I like where I'm at, I don't want any help". What a JACKASS!! Idiot!! I agreed with good ol' Ron about Deanna's voice being very effected, but she seems to get at decent sound going regardless. I can't imagine how awful it would be to have a singing lesson in front of nine other people you are competing with, Dave Navarro and INXS. Not fun.

Tuesday night and everything's all right:
Again, Dave N. is wearing a shirt. Brooke Burke looks like she killed a robin and a Christmas tree for her outfit. She seems pretty hit and miss.

Mig - We Will Rock You
I guess the white jeans are okay as it is still before Labour day, but they are not my favourite. I found his singing a little "talky", and he dropped a few notes here and there. It might have been the drums only version of the song that caused that, it is hard to sing with no harmony. Overall a bit of a wankfest, but I like Mig, lip gloss and all. Dave N. may have been hitting on him at the end, but uh, so it goes.

Deanna looks better without those dumb braids
Deanna - I'm the Only One
Love her hair, still love her voice, despite the vocal teacher crapping all over her and stressing her out. She is such a strong rock singer, and INXS clearly lurves her. I don't get the whole mixture of brown and black leather, but hey, I'm not a rocker. Pretty cool how she came up and rocked right in their faces. I loved that Dave N. threw that dig at J.D. out there by complementing her on "keeping it together" with her sister in the audience. HAH!

Marty - With Arms Wide Open
I hate Creed, so so much. Yuck. As Scott points out, the only band worse than Creed is Nickleback. Marty was kind of distracting with the weird arm seizures, looked like he was doing a epilectic robot dance. He did a great job singing a shitty song. Dave N. was absolutely right that Marty did sing it better than the original, but I still hate it. INXS LOVES him.

Ty - Everlong
Sounds like Ty got rid of the "show tune" vibrato (as per the suggestion of Ron in the vocal clinic). He is so cute. The stage band rocked their asses off. I don't love the song, but I think he pulled it off. Dave N. said he had some pitch issues and missed a few entrances, but I didn't notice and INXS dug it.

Jessica - Blister In the Sun
As you may have guessed, I am not Jessica's number one fan. She did this weird nasally thing with her voice on this song that I hated. I think the key was about a minor 3rd too low. Also, a little too cute for me, and she continues to dance like a backup dancer for James Brown (you know the ones - the white chicks in the bikinis that come out when he gets tired). I did like that Jessica told Dave N. that "this is it, this is who I am". INXS seemed to like it fine, though I think they were just enjoying the "show".

Brandon - If You Could Only See
This guy has no sense of rhythm. He kept doing this weird punctuated "if-you-could" thing that sounded like he was trying to punch the words through my forehead, or like he was stabbing a porkchop. I loved his vocal slipup "if-you-could....I love me". How true. Actually, it is pretty evident how much Brandon loves himself. I think I am not objective when it comes to Brandon - I keep wishing him ill.

Jordis - The Man Who Sold the World
She was clearly feeling it, but she managed to keep her composure. I love her timbre, and she sings really in tune. She definitely has the "it" factor. Dave N. and INXS totally dig her. I think that we'll be seeing more of her after this show, even when INXS inevitably picks a dude. She'll go on to something better.

J.D. is a bit of a punk ass bitch
J.D. - The Letter
The disses being directed at J.D. didn't seem to hurt him, I'd say they just fueled the fire and fed his confidence. He definitely rocked out with the cock out. I think he was channeling some Elvis with that swagger, and I didn't dig his convulsing dance moves at all. Dave N. and INXS loved it, but after last week, he had to do something big, so he definitely came out tits up, hammer out.

Comme ci, Comme ca
Tara - Message In A Bottle
Too fast!! What is it with the stage band and Sting songs? I wonder if they speed up the tempos to get the songs done in the allotted amount of time? Anyway, it is obnoxious. I thought she looked good, sounded good, but there was something tentative about her, like she is so nervous to get kicked off. Funny thing is that I want Tara to do well, but I personally don't find her all that compelling and I don't think INXS does either. Weird question they asked her about whether or not she "liked doing covers". Essentially any singer they select will be doing pretty much all INXS covers so they better be good at it.

We all know Suzie isn't right for their band
Suzie - Get Back
She seemed pretty comfortable up there, rockin' in her pinstripe pants (probably better suited for the office than a rock show). Interesting song choice because this song has a lot of instrumental space and last time I checked this was a singing competition of sorts. I think she nailed the vibe and mood of the song, and it seemed like INXS liked that she let the band solo without singing on top of them.

It is going to be a hard choice tonight with all of these strong performances. Ultimately the singers that are "just not right for the band" will stand out though. My prediction for tonight is that Jessica and Tara will for sure be in the bottom three, and hopefully Brandon will too (likely wishful thinking on my part).


  1. So, uh, 2 out of 3 ain't bad. So long Tara, we knew you weren't right for their band. Brandon, dude, you are next! Ty, I have no idea how you ended up in the bottom 3 - life is not fair.

  2. I completely missed the performances and the elimination shows this week. Stupid, stupid work. Thanks for the update!

  3. Due to "the big move", I totally missed the performance show this week and tuned in only for the elimination. I was STUNNED to see Ty in the bottom three - WTF?
    But then he sang "Kick" and it was game over for anyone else on that stage. Sad to see Tara go, especially since it left Brandon standing and Jessica still in the fray.
    If Ty ends up in the bottom next week, I may have to stop watching and switch to cheerleading for that skinny, ear-freak kid from Sudbury on Canadian Idol. Let's hope it never comes to that!

  4. OK. So, did you watch the Monday show? J.D. is officially a nutjob and Ty has confirmed my suspicions that he is gay. It's always the super hot ones.... Anyway, I am thinking Marty or Mig will be the final pick. Marty seems the least emotionally damaged of the guys.

  5. I couldn't watch it because I thought it was only on VH1? Argh! I'll watch tonight.

    J.D. is a nutjob.