Friday, August 12, 2005

Cogeco Internet and VOIP: Up and down like a whiskey dick.

This is not me and Scott, we're sitting on our couch scowling like mother fuckers.
See, I was initially excited about getting VOIP (voice over IP) from Cogeco when Scott mentioned it to me last month. I mean, it meant getting rid of Ma-Bell for once and for all, and I figured it would be kind of cool to lead the way into the next generation of technology. Plus the long distance within North America 24-7 at no extra cost – that doesn’t suck.

But you want to know what does suck? What does suck is that at 4pm today, when I was expecting a very important phone call and/or email by end of business day Friday, neither my phone nor my internet connection were working. And insult to injury, neither was my cable, so no television to distract me from the fact that neither my god damn PHONE nor my INTERNET connection were working. So, I called dear Cogeco, and explained my situation to them. Apparently, if I am the only person in my neighbourhood bitching and moaning, they don’t give a fuck, and they will send someone out on Saturday. Saturday! So, I guess the fact that I spend upwards of $150 a month with them is not worth their time. The fact that NONE OF THEIR SHIT-ASS services are working, that is NOT THEIR PROBLEM.

Well fuck you Cogeco. As I type this, my phone and internet have been up and down like a whiskey dick (all talk, no delivery). That 8 hour phone battery backup doesn’t do me a fuck lot of good if my cable modem is blinking like a Christmas tree. Now I understand why the first month is free. You are lucky my husband is more patient than me, because if I had my way, we would have cancelled our television, internet and phone today. Eventually though, I will have my way, so you better ship the fuck up or I will kick you to the curb, don’t even kid.

I guess what I’m saying is, if you were thinking about getting VOIP, from Cogeco, wait…a while. A long long while. They have miles to go before they sleep. Also, their installation technicians leave all their garbage and boxes behind when they are finished, and despite requests to confirm that your internet is up and running, they will wave you off like you are a dumb blonde and say “yes, yes, it is working” but really it isn’t, and then you get to spend a half hour waiting to get through to Cogeco by phone, I mean, assuming your phone is working. Not a great customer experience.

PS Alana: See, it is hard to come off as sappy and sentimental when you say “fuck” and “shit” a lot. Also, CAPS, not so sentimental.


  1. Yeah, and yesterday they promised someone would come today, and that was a LIE! It is still up and down and today they were like "Monday or Tuesday" and I said NO I WANT TO TALK TO A MANAGER. So now someone will come tomorrow...but fuck, if this doesn't shape up, I'm going to get really mad.

  2. Why the ass are you with them in the first place?

    It's called either Sympatico or Rogers Hi-speed, sis. Gedwidit!

  3. Anonymous6:34 a.m.

    Kat, I had pretty much the identical problems with Rogers. Undelivered services, lazyass technicians, staying on the phone for hours trying to get some faint shred of sympathy, lies about "someone will be there TODAY", speak-to-supervisor demands, etc. They're all the same, they're all asses. I guess Rogers is just established enough that eventually someone halfway competent will stumble upon my case and grant me the gift that is properly functioning services for my 130 a month. :S

  4. Soli, I have worked on the Sympatico business, and I can tell you that they are definitely no better. As for Rogers, they don't provide service out here in the sticks, it is Cogeco.

    S - I think that these companies (all of 'em) are too big for their britches, and they should be careful because the minute someone gets their act together and brings a meaningful service offering to the table, they will lose customers right, left, and centre.