Cogeco Internet and VOIP: Up and down like a whiskey dick.

See, I was initially excited about getting VOIP (voice over IP) from Cogeco when Scott mentioned it to me last month. I mean, it meant getting rid of Ma-Bell for once and for all, and I figured it would be kind of cool to lead the way into the next generation of technology. Plus the long distance within North America 24-7 at no extra cost – that doesn’t suck.

But you want to know what does suck? What does suck is that at 4pm today, when I was expecting a very important phone call and/or email by end of business day Friday, neither my phone nor my internet connection were working. And insult to injury, neither was my cable, so no television to distract me from the fact that neither my god damn PHONE nor my INTERNET connection were working. So, I called dear Cogeco, and explained my situation to them. Apparently, if I am the only person in my neighbourhood bitching and moaning, they don’t give a fuck, and they will send someone out on Saturday. Saturday! So, I guess the fact that I spend upwards of $150 a month with them is not worth their time. The fact that NONE OF THEIR SHIT-ASS services are working, that is NOT THEIR PROBLEM.

Well fuck you Cogeco. As I type this, my phone and internet have been up and down like a whiskey dick (all talk, no delivery). That 8 hour phone battery backup doesn’t do me a fuck lot of good if my cable modem is blinking like a Christmas tree. Now I understand why the first month is free. You are lucky my husband is more patient than me, because if I had my way, we would have cancelled our television, internet and phone today. Eventually though, I will have my way, so you better ship the fuck up or I will kick you to the curb, don’t even kid.

I guess what I’m saying is, if you were thinking about getting VOIP, from Cogeco, wait…a while. A long long while. They have miles to go before they sleep. Also, their installation technicians leave all their garbage and boxes behind when they are finished, and despite requests to confirm that your internet is up and running, they will wave you off like you are a dumb blonde and say “yes, yes, it is working” but really it isn’t, and then you get to spend a half hour waiting to get through to Cogeco by phone, I mean, assuming your phone is working. Not a great customer experience.

PS Alana: See, it is hard to come off as sappy and sentimental when you say “fuck” and “shit” a lot. Also, CAPS, not so sentimental.