I Choose Hope.

Christopher Reeve was once quoted as saying "Once you choose hope, anything's possible". On the tough days, when I am filled with worry about what the future will bring (or not bring), I remind myself of this great man's words. I think a lot of people look at me and think I'm super strong, that I am this unstoppable force, and that's okay - most days that's probably an accurate assessment. I operate under Newton's first law of motion, that being "an object in motion tends to stay in motion". Meaning, to avoid getting stuck, or depressed, I simply keep moving, one foot in front of the other, no matter what. Sometimes I am hard to keep up with (Scott would be the first to tell you that). Those that like to take their time making decisions, or just move at a slower pace get overwhelmed by me. I can often be heard saying "let's go ahead and pull the trigger on that". As in - let's stop talking and start doing. In fact, by the time I'm talking about something, it's probably half way done.
Anyway, I'm off track here...back to "hope". I was out walking with the kids today, singing to Max, and he wasn't paying attention - it seemed like he was zoning out on me. I felt the panic rising in my chest - why isn't he looking at me? Why isn't he responding to the songs that usually get him singing? I was frustrated, and tired, and worried. We got back to the house and went into the backyard, where Max started running around, full of joy. A few minutes later he came over to the swings, where Cameron was already buckled into the seat swing (which is usually what Max uses). Instead of getting upset, he went over to the regular swing, and tried to sit in it. I helped him into it, and held onto him to make sure he wouldn't fall or lose his balance. It quickly became clear that he didn't need me, he was just fine. I called Scott out, and we marveled at the fact that our little Max was now using the big boy swing all on his own, and loving it. Just last month he wanted nothing to do with it, and today he sat on it for over 20 minutes, swinging away, with the wind blowing in his face. This is a testament to the hard work he is doing with this team at blueballoon, and especially his Occupational Therapist, Jess. So, good job Jess and good job Max! I choose hope.