Monday, May 25, 2009

Marisa Tomei Is Fabulous.

I used to think Marisa Tomei was overrated. I scoffed at the fact that she won an Oscar for My Cousin Vinny. I thought she was a weak actress who leaned a little too much on her good looks and funny accent. After seeing The Wrestler with Scott on Saturday night, she has officially won me over.

She is actually an okay actress. She walks the fine line of the forty something stripper without looking like she has been ridden hard and put away wet. You like her character, you sort of respect her, and your husband, he will probably have fantasies about her (can you blame him?). Sure, she's kind of old for a stripper, but damn she has bodacious ta-tas. Those breasts, they are a PSA for why all women should bottle feed their babies. Nestlé should hire her as their spokeswoman for baby formula. I say that as a woman who has breastfed two children for over a year each, and has suffered the consequences. Do I regret breastfeeding my babies? Not for a second. Am I insanely jealous of Marissa Tomei's perky tits?

Absolutely. 100%. Yes.

Let me elaborate on just how phenomenal Marisa Tomei's body is in this movie. If I had her body, I would take my clothes off and pretend to be a stripper on camera too. Hell, I would even give Mickey Rourke a lap dance. You might even find me shopping the in the frozen food section of my grocery store - you got it - naked. But I don't have her body, so I'll be keeping my clothes on, and Mickey, he's out of luck (though I'm sure he gets lots of action even without me). And if you catch me at the grocery store, well, that will just depend on the day and what kind of mood I'm in.


  1. Anonymous8:32 p.m.

    Readers: You do understand that she is being sarcastic? She will not be dancing naked in the grocery store.

  2. Well, not unless the pizza pops are on sale.

  3. Anonymous1:26 p.m.

    All I have to say is Marisa's tits are fantastic, and in spite of the focus on her body her performance as a tender hearted vulnerable single mother was even more impressive.

    If I wasn't already happily married, I'd pop the question in a New york minute. That gal has it all!!!