Friday, March 04, 2005

All hail the Queen/The Bitch is Back.

Please leave it alone - don't throw rocks at the throneIf I were Martha Stewart, instead of waving graciously, I would have turned to the photographers and flipped them the bird. Because really, the people who are singing her praises now are the the same ass-hats who went out of their way over the past 2 years to talk smack about her, print ugly pictures of her, try her case in the court of public opinion, and smile smugly as she went to jail for 5 months. I hope she kept a list of people who have snubbed her, whether it be professionally or personally. Take them off the Christmas Card list, delete them from your palm pilot and suck your teeth at them when they show up and try to act like they didn't completely desert you and take quiet joy in your public humiliation. That's what I would do anyway. I have always liked Martha Stewart, and I didn't give a shit that she may or may not have done some insider trading (you think most rich folks out there haven't gotten a trading "tip" now and again?).

But Martha is a lady, and instead of giving the reporters the bird, she waved and smiled (and she looked damn good doing it too). She even made the paparazzi buzzing around her house hot chocolate. Way to rise above it and show them all that you will not get down and wrestle in the mud with them like the two-faced swine they are. Though it would have been funnier if she had gone all "Kill Bill" on her enemies [cue The Bride theme music]...maybe this niceness is all a ruse to get them comfortable so they'll let their guards down so she can poison them with yummy cupcakes...guess we'll have to wait and see.

1 comment:

  1. Like many others out there, I think Martha got a raw deal. I have a few ideas for new topics on her show, such as "How to keep those butcher knives extra sharp" or "How to get large bloodstains out of clothing" or even "Almonds or arsenic? What's the special ingredient in my cookies?"