Thursday, April 14, 2005

If this is America's finest, I feel bad for y'all.

I am perplexed by this season's American Idol. Is America deaf? Did the talent get culled too early (ie - before they even got to Hollywood)? I thought shit typically flows downstream, but apparently it floats to the top. Let's recap the top 12:

TOP 7:
Anthony Fedorov - This guy is brutal. Cheesy, out of tune, a sloppy second to Clay Aitken. He needs to go home, but clearly someone is voting for him. Why?

Anwar Robinson - At first I was totally into him, he's very musical. I think he doesn't switch it up enough though, and he dresses like a friggin' hippy.

Bo Bice - Kind of old for American Idol...I can't see him winning. Plus, would any rocker with an ounce of cred go on this show? Would any rock band with an ounce of cred want a singer who would go on this show? Maybe Nickleback, but otherwise, me thinks not.

Carrie Underwood - Likely the best singer left - I hope she turns it on in the next few weeks because if she gets voted off it will be all dudes and Vonzelle. She knows how to use her instrument and has a true style (more than I can say for anyone else on the show).

Constantine Maroulis - Scott's pick to win (not that Scott watches the show - he wanted me to clarify that). Just that he has happened to be nearby a few times when Constantine has "turned on the charm" (gag).

Scott Savol - Workin' my last nerve and the very proof that there are a lot of fat white Americans who vote for their own kind. I hate this guy, so, so much. He wobbles like a weeble and he emotes like a man in a coma.

Vonzell Solomon - I like Vonzell, seems like a sweet girl, but there have been much better singers on this show that did the R&B/pop thing (LaToya London anyone?).

Jessica Sierra - I never really got her appeal. Also, they dressed her like a muppet. When you are short and top heavy, you need to be careful (I should know).

Lindsey Cardinale - No clue how she got into the top 12 in the first place...she danced like Brandy used to dance in her Moesha days (elbows and knees and I'm girl please!).

Mikalah Gordon - America was on crack when they put Fran Jr. in the top 12. This girl was TERRIBLE. Her only assets were between her shoulders and her ribs and that only gets you so far (besides, Scott Savol has bigger boobies than her).

Nadia Turner - Truly my favourite, but probably too musical for America and too much like Fantasia (gasp - we can't have another funky black woman win this thing...).

Nikko Smith - Cute and a good dresser, but pitchy as all get out. We all knew his days were numbered.

So, I'll keep on watching, and mocking, and commenting, but I won't buy the cd of whoever wins - I never have and I never will. Now, off to watch my favourite show...


  1. i love anwar, but i gotta agree with you kat... brotha's gotta switch ish up.

    nadia hung herself with that song she sang the other nite. and i love randy's comment: "out of a year's worth of songs, you chose that one? dude, i didn't even know what it was!"

    i like scotty. manboobies and all. he is, though, by FAR the most REPULSIVE-Looking idol contestant i've ever seen.

    maroulis is my pick to win. sexy, shaggy (and the same age as buh-bice, by the way)... and we all know why maroulis is destined to win:

    ladies love him. girls adore him. i mean, even the ones who neva saw him like the way he sings on the show. the reason why man, i dunno. so let's go...

    (with apologies to rob base)

  2. You pretty much hit the nail on the head with all your thoughts, except I didn't like Nadia too much. She had a set of PIPES and the 'favourite song' she sang last night was amazing again, but I found her a little too dramatic (with too many funny facial expressions while she was performing) for my liking.

    Carrie, Vonzell and Nikko were my favourite three... and now my favourite two.

    I still don't understand why they didn't let that 16-year-old girl get into the Top 12 girls group (the one whose mom got taken to the hospital)... and they took the horrible Vegas showgirl (aka Simon's eye-candy) instead. Blah.

    Anwar - this guy puzzles me. Sometimes he'll be singing and there is NO expression on his face. Won't win.

    Anthony and Constantine just need to go. Now.

    You're right. Not a lot to cheer about this season.

  3. Apparently, Scott Savol got arrested recently for beating up his girlfriend (mother of his child) and since he wasn't given prison time (only a $500 fine) the producers allowed him to continue to be on the show! I hate that man with such a firey passion. My mother calls him "The Serial Killer" because he looks so creepy.

    I like Anwar, I don't care that he dresses like a hippie. I think he's dishy. And I also think Constantine is cute. But all in all I find them pretty boring. I like Canadian Idol much better for all its quirkiness. After all, no dude on American Idol ever dresses up in a skin tight body suit and eye make-up to sing a David Bowie song! Now that's my kind of TV!



    check it out!