A True American Idol.

Just wanted to remind everyone what an American Idol looks like (in case you forgot or have been brainwashed into thinking that one of the remaining six is even qualified to photocopy Mariah's sheet music). I'm not saying that I really dig Mariah Carey's music, but I do appreciate her talent (there may even be copies of her first 2 cds floating around somewhere in my music collection). I think Mariah's biggest mistake was leaving adult contemporary music for urban music. She needs to put some pants on and make like Celine Dion. That, my friends, is when she will start selling records again. And don't tell me she sold more records in her first week with this new album than any of her other records. That's nice and all, but it won't last. I'm not going to bother reviewing this album because Solitaire already did, so check it out on her old site.

Jennifer called tonight during American Idol. I didn't pick up because I was trying to stop bleeding out my ears - have you tried to get blood out of carpet? I'm not sure what happened tonight, but the only person who sang in tune was Bo Bice. You can hate on Simon all you want, but he is the only judge who consistently hears what the television viewing audience hears, vs. what the studio audience is swept away with. Trust me, I have 2 degrees in music, I know what I am saying. So, after calling Jennifer back, we conferred on the following - to recap:

Carrie Underwood - pitchy, but cute and we all know she can sing the shit out of country. I think she was sick tonight (did you hear her sympathy coughs after she sang?).

Bo Bice - likely the best performance of the night - at least the most in tune. I wish he would put down the mic stand though.

Vonzell Solomon - pitchy, but you gotta love this girl. She knows karate and she sings hard songs well. Also, she is damn cute.

Anthony Fedorov - so, cheesey, must, get a, glass, of water, to dissolve the Cheese Whiz, blocking my airway.

Constantine Maroulis - I hate Nickleback SO MUCH - and you didn't even sing it in tune! For that, you must be punished, though I doubt it will happen. I too have had love for a Greek man, so I understand the spell that the women of America are under. Warning - if you make that kicking motion at the camera one more time, I will reach through my television set and punch you in the cock.

Scott Savol - dude - you tried to sing Luther Vandross - you got no right - if America has any sense, they will send your woman beating ass home tomorrow.

And for all of you still searching the holy grail of Jeff Prasertlum, I thought I would let you know that...well...Brad Pitt is getting jiggy with Angelina Jolie. I'm thinking that Jen, even though she is a Godmother to little Coco, is not interested in procreating (at least not with Brad). We should probably thank her for that, as we would likely be blinded by the beauty of any baby they created together. So, if he wants kids, who better to hook up with than Angelina Jolie? Just add water and stir, instant family and a hott woman to boot.