Wednesday, May 04, 2005

I'm not feeling it, Dick.

Dear Dick Wolf,

When I first heard you were launching a fourth Law & Order show, I have to admit, I was wary. Then I heard that Lenny was going to be on it, and I thought, well, I'll give it a shot. Then Lenny died , and I thought, maybe not. To be fair, I had good intentions. I started taping it faithfully, every Friday night. Then one day, Scott said to me "Kat, are you actually going to watch these five Trial By Jury episodes you have taped, or can I erase them?". I got all possessive of my recorded shows and very defensive (how dare anyone even THINK about deleting shows that I recorded??). I conned Scott into watching the premiere episode with me. I believe I managed to stay awake until minute 32 (or whenever Bebe entered the show). And don't get me wrong Dick, I love me some Lillith. I just don't buy Bebe as an ADA. Can't do it. Also, the cops on Trial By Jury don't even qualify as decent HITG (Hey It's That Guy) material. How can you have Ice-T as a cop on SVU and expect me to tolerate some no frills actor?

So what do you decide to do Dick? You start tying this dung heap of a show to your really good shows. You make your main L&O show all Law and leave the Order for a "to be continued" - psyche! - on Trial By Jury. You fucker. I hate that shit. Then, to make matters worse, you pissed in your own soup - again! Last night's SVU (aka "Hottie and Sexy") was awesome. Some of the best guest appearances ever with Angela Lansbury and Alfred Molina. I had a bad feeling about it too, because I saw that Trial By Jury was scheduled right after SVU. So, ten minutes to the end, when nothing had been wrapped up and the SVU ADA just had the crap beaten out of her, I turned to Scott and said "you realize what is about to happen right? We are being FORCED to watch that terrible show Trial By Jury." But you know what, it wasn't so bad. And you want to know why it wasn't so bad? Because they used Hottie and Sexy from SVU on the Trial By Jury episode, with limited quantities of Bebe and the boring cop brigade.

But you aren't fooling me Dick. I will only tolerate this for so long. You aren't a bad person, you are just doing bad things. You raised the game with L&O by bringing on the Sopranos dude Michael Imperioli, I'll give you that. And hiring Chris Noth to work on Mr.Ridiculous next season is inspired. And Hottie and Sexy..well, since Sexy is getting a divorce on the show, I expect sparks to fly by next season. Just give up the ghost on Trial By Jury dude. It sucks and it is polluting the franchise.

thanks for listening,
Fickle Feline

ps - please take Elisabeth Röhm off of the Law & Order homepage . She's been gone for a while now and we all know that Annie Parisse could wipe the floor with her.
pps - please update the SVU site - the episode listing hasn't been updated since March 29th!

This is not my first post about Law & Order:
Hottie & Sexy | R.I.P. Lenny | Elisabeth Röhm | Chris Noth | Annie Parisse


  1. ACK, Kat I think I love you. I so love Chris Meloni and everything you said, I could have said myself and I never knew there were others that felt this way and I knew I liked you for some reason and BIG, yes I can't wait for him to take over for that dickwad..donofrio. What is with him ?????*deep breath* I had never even watched any of these shows until I met my husband and oh how I thank him for introducing me to the DNGGG DNNNGG world. (you know the sound)

  2. Glad to find another L&O fan! I have been watching L&O since I was a teenager (though my husband would like to take credit for introducing me to the dunh dunh dunh dunh duhhhhhhhh duhhhhhhh world). And I can't wait until Mr.Big starts on Mr.Ridiculous. Can't. Wait.

  3. Jabba the Hutt as Scott? aaaaaugh!!

    I don't know anything about Star Wars but I know about that fat blub.

    Hey, what happened to Scott's blog?

  4. You caught me mid post Soli! Do you like my tribute to Scott Savol?

    Scott's has been down for a few days.

  5. ha ha girl! I didn't even know who Scott Savol was until you outed him on your blog... I don't get CTV anymore so I don't know what's gwannins.

    Y'all get your stuff in the mail yet? I'm gonna get mad at Canada Post!!!!

  6. I can watch the original Law & Orders but not the rest, they're too "sexy" and polished up. Bring back the days of Lenny & Chris Noth and the washed-out cinematography. But my real question is - why is that chick on Law & Order standing in a bathing suit & heels by the staircase? Was she solving a murder at the beach? Seriously, did you get that photo as a Law & Order photo or is that part of her portfolio?

  7. Bebe has been doing Broadway for the last few years...I think that picture is from Caberet?

  8. I have a deep rooted childhood love for Cabaret (my mom used to play me the soundtrack over and over) and if that picture is from Cabaret it IS JUST WRONG. Cabaret calls for ripped war-era undergarments, not bathing suits, nylons and leather jackets. Erg.

  9. I actually made that up. Maybe it was Chicago.