Tuesday, December 07, 2004

The happiest day of your life.


I just surfed over to DomesticGoddess.ca to see what Jennifer has cooking. By the sounds of it, she is having a very stressful time planning her upcoming wedding. As you know, Scott and I got married this summer and it was an awesome day. Our honeymoon in Jamaica was terrific (despite having to leave Jamaica a few days early due to Hurricane Ivan). But don't kid yourself, planning a wedding is incredibly stressful, and that's when everyone behaves themselves. Imagine how it is when people who in theory should be supportive act like total assholes. Yeah, it totally sucks.

In the six weeks before our wedding I got 2 cold sores, had 3 freak out attacks and spent about 5 days in bed, all due to the incredible amount of stress I was under. And it wasn't the getting married part that stressed me out; I knew that Scott was the man for me, no question about it. What stressed me out was that there were some people who up until that point had been really important to me and they were being really awful and brutal about our wedding. Essentially, they were attempting to highjack our day and make it about themselves, they wanted to be the stars of our show. One parent called me the day before the wedding and yelled at me on the phone because he had "forgotten" that he wasn't the one walking me down the aisle, even though I had told him months before. On the day of the wedding, he wouldn't wear the boutonnière we had bought for him. He scowled during the entire ceremony, talked through the speeches, felt up one of my bridesmaids, hit on our photographer, didn't even give us a gift and then threw his own after-party where he talked shit about us and told everyone there how disappointed he was in our day. Nice guy, eh? There was also plenty of other drama leading up to the wedding that I won't get into, but it made things unnecessarily difficult.

You know what the worst part of it is? The part that I am still kicking myself over? It's that I let the behaviour of a few people really overshadow how I feel about a day that was truly beautiful. The vast majority of people had a great time and were so supportive. Our wedding party, and Scott's parents and my Mom and Ian were so wonderful and generous with us, be are truly blessed. I am still trying to figure out why some people weren't able to behave decently on a day that wasn't about them, it was about honouring the love Scott and I have for one another. I guess there will always be small people out there. The key really is to focus on the overwhelming love and support we received from our family and friends and that we continue to be blessed in our lives. The other night before I left for BC, Scott and I laid in bed and chatted about all of the funny and wonderful things that happened on our wedding day and during our honeymoon - it was so much fun to talk about it - there were things that I had almost forgotten (already!). We talked about the bartender in Jamaica named Dennis who made us rum drinks every day (Scott told him we would name our first born son Dennis!), the Texans Ang and Geno that we met, the night I fell asleep in bed (too much sun) and Scott stayed up drinking Red Stripe and watching boxing, eating Thai food and Japanese food and having a huge breakfast every day...there are so many great things to focus on! And that is just the honeymoon!

Okay, time to go to bed. My dog Scout is asleep at my feet and snoring. Reminds me of Scott, who I really miss!! Only 5 more sleeps until I'll be back in the T.dot.

7 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear about the guy that messed up your day. I bet you too both remained calm, I dunno what I'd do, but I'm sure it would've involved a candle holder being bashed over his head. At least the both of you look happy in that picture. Congrats BTW.

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  2. Anonymous9:44 AM

    Thank you, Kat. Although I know that post wasn't written for me, it did make me feel better. Thank you for letting me know that I am NOT the first bride to go through the horrors of a wedding involving more than just the bride and groom and two other people.

    xo Jennifer - http://www.domesticgoddess.ca

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  3. Anonymous11:47 AM

    Makes sense to me that you would name your first born son Dennis. Kat! You forgot to tell everyone that you were the most beautiful bride the world ever saw and that you and Scott were so cool and collected almost no one noticed the a-hole you have so adequately described above.

    mb

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  4. Sunny - there were many people who would have happily taken him outside for a good smackdown, we really just tried to do our best to ignore him. And yes, we were very happy in that picture (it was taken at the end of the aisle after the ceremony).

    Jennifer - I think I wrote that post for both of us. I am glad it helped you feel better - sounds like you have a great support system that will help you as long as you tell them what you need. The people that are being crappy will probably always be crappy and there isn't anything you can do about it, so try to release yourself from that responsibility.

    mb - you are so sweet :-)

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  5. Kat - the donkey that you spoke about in your post - well, after reading that, I had to leave my computer. It made me THAT ANGRY. I can't BELIEVE somebody would do such a thing!

    All the wedding's I've been to...it's been one big love fest. I have a big ass family (my wedding will be entitled "My Big Fat Black Wedding") and there are fights sometimes, but we love each other. Anybody who tries to pull a stunt gets dealt with.

    I'm so sorry that that fool was talking smack..ON YOUR WEDDING DAY! OF ALL DAMN DAYS! DAMN! It makes me ANGRY because I know how nice you and Scott are. Who'd want to sabotage y'all?

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH! #!#^%@$^@&$!#@

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  6. Weddings are huge family events. I'm not suprised someone would want to take center stage.

    But I am surprised that it went to that extent. If that ever happened at my wedding, that motherfucker would not be walking outta there.0

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  7. Well Soli and Big-N, this person is no longer in our lives and will never be at another one of our family events ever again. He will never see his future grandchildren, he will miss out on a lot. Sad thing is, his behaviour at our wedding was not a surprise - even people who are supposedly his friends just shook their heads and told me they thought he was a total jackass but they weren't surprised - not one bit - that is how low an opinion people who know him have of him. And those are the people who he calls his friends. A very pathetic and sad individual indeed.

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