Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The Youngest Prostitute in Guadalajara?

I must admit, when I saw the silhouette of the new "all growed up" Dora, I thought "what the eff are they doing to our beloved pie-faced Dora?". While I wasn't happy about it, I wasn't surprised either. Mattel and Nick just couldn't leave this smart little girl's self-esteem intact as she grows up. Instead of letting her continue to be a positive role model for little girls who are inundated with images of Miley Cyrus sexified in Vanity Fair, Britney Spears' little sis (and Nickelodeon star) getting knocked up before she has even had a chance to go to her prom, and Bratz dolls encouraging bad behaviour and dressing like child prostitutes, they have decided to pile on and make our little Dora into just another inappropriately dressed little girl who is growing up too fast.

I think the worst part is that they tricked us. They sucked us in thinking she was a safe haven for parents who were tired of the belly shirts, mini-skirts, and lingerie for little girls. It would not be okay for Dora to start Grade 1 wearing a regular pair of jeans, running shoes and a t-shirt. Nope, she has to get with the program and start showing off that hot little bod of hers.

I decided that with Dora's new look, the show could use a new theme song:

Dora, Dora, Dora the explorer,
Youngest prostitute in Guadalajara,
Grab your backpack, Hi Ho!
Tight dress! Pants too low!
Watch my hi-ips swa-ay!
D D D Dora...

It turns out that the new Dora isn't so bad. The filled in image of her was released today and her shapely legs are covered with tights, she isn't sporting any makeup, and the "dress" is really just a long shirt. I question the need for jewelery, it might get caught on a tree branch or lost in a river, and those pointy ballet flats aren't going to give her much traction when she's climbing mountains. She'll figure that out soon enough. Seems a tough lesson for a girl between the ages of 5 and 8 though. Let's hope they provide her with some hiking boots and khakis in her backpack. And let's cross our fingers that her pal Diego is a nice boy who doesn't invite her to any rainbow parties.

162 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:38 p.m.

    One thing I love about Canadian winters is that all the little boys and girls wear snow pants... and I've heard from many little girls that as much as they love to wear dresses and skirts, it's simply not comfortable or practical to do that and try to put on snowpants.

    So... for at least the winter, the little girls here mostly all wear sensible, practical, run as fast as you can boots, pants, coats, and such to play about in the snow.

    And you're right.. the tween Dora is not so bad... I would prefer her in jeans and running shoes though.

    Daisy

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  2. NOw there's a blogpost that requires audio! Put those lyrics to music! That's awesome! Poor wee Dora...

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  3. Anonymous12:21 p.m.

    You're going to love this:

    http://academic.evergreen.edu/projects/canopylab/outreach/barbie.html

    "Treetop Barbie", thought up by forest ecologist Dr. Nalini M. Nadkarni (she did a speech at the TED conference, aka "the interesting people show" ... it was awesome!)

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  4. Anonymous2:30 p.m.

    my 2.5 year old son watches dora. hopefully new episodes dont come to serbia for like 9221 years.
    -- japaja

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  5. I always thought Dora was a hoochie. I don't trust her.

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