I Like Me, I Really Like Me.

I turn 34 tomorrow. That officially lands me in my mid thirties. While "30" is the new "20", the verdict is still out on what 34 is...maybe it's the new "24"? Perhaps it comes with a bottle of wine delivered by Jack Bauer himself (hey, I can dream). I was pondering this coming birthday (which I now share with my daughter Cameron), and I came to the realization that for the first time in my life, I am comfortable in my own skin. I feel confident, strong, smart, sexy, beautiful, and I really like myself as a person. I am not afraid to say "no", and I am not afraid to hear "no" either. This is extremely empowering, and has helped me prioritize my needs and my family's needs without feeling guilty. It has also turned me into one hell of a negotiator.

When I look back at earlier phases of my life, I wish I could have felt the confidence I have now, but back then. I wish I would have felt better about myself and seen how pretty I was instead of being crippled by insecurity. I wish I would have gotten over heartbreak faster and been able to see the bigger picture instead of navel gazing. I wish I never would have cut my hair short and dyed it red. But I suppose being that girl, with all of her struggles and sadness, is part of what has made me into the woman I am now. I imagine it was hard for my own mom to watch me fall down, again and again, making the same mistakes, not seeing how much I had going for me. What I have learned for sure is that we all have to fall and make our own mistakes, nobody can do it for us. This is the only way we truly grow and learn.

I am not afraid to call it like I see it.
I am okay with people not liking me.

I know who loves me.
I know who my friends are.
I know I'm not perfect, and I'm okay with that.
I know I'm a good person, flaws and all.

I can install toilets, ceiling fans, taps, electrical outlets and lighting fixtures, by my own damn self.
I can also make quilts (I just don't have time).

I have a wonderful singing voice.
I have beautiful green eyes.

I ask for a lot because I give a lot.
I am not afraid to tell the universe what I want.

I love my children with the ferociousness of a mother bear.
I love my husband more today than the day we got married.
I love my curves.
I love myself.