Tuesday, September 28, 2010

tmi tuesday: your nipples are supposed to be how high?

When women get drunk, we talk about all sorts of things.  Like, crazy stuff that would blow your mind if you were a fly on the wall.  For instance - did you know that your nipples are supposed to be located exactly half way between your shoulder and your elbow?  I know right?  I too, have longer than average upper arms.  That's the only way I can explain the fact that my nipples don't point at the sun.
Also - there is a place in Toronto where you can get a boob lift AND a tummy tuck at the same time for only $6,000.  And the doctor is legit - comes with recommendations and everything.  We spend that in a single month on Max's therapy.  You think Max would mind if we just skipped his treatment next month?  I mean, his mommy would be so much perkier as a result - win-win for everyone in my mind.  And, the general consensus was that La Senza has the most comfortable and flattering thongs...gotta get to La Senza in the very near future.  I love the fact that the majority of my women friends wear thongs.  That's hot.  Also, 3 of 5 of these women snuck away during the wedding reception with their husbands.  I won't say who, except one of these ladies isn't married and the other one's husband wasn't at the wedding.  Blondes and red heads really DO have more fun.  
My mind is still blown about the whole nipple thing.  


  1. I suppose none of this counts if yours are inverted...

  2. This really only applies if you are 8 years old I'm thinking.
    (that in reference to the nipple thing, NOT the sneaking away at the wedding thing, just for clarification)