Saturday, October 23, 2010

competing for the "god of cake" title.

Turns out my kids love cake. Like, love it love it.  I suspected this would be the case when I picked it at Whole Foods today.  [non-sequitur: have you noticed that many of the people who shop at Whole Foods are pompous assholes, or is it just me?  Oh yeah, I made the table cloth in this picture.]
Back to the cake.  It started out as a Halloween cake.  I needed a birthday cake - a chocolate one.  And not one of those dairy-gluten free chocolate cakes.  A real dog damn chocolate cake.  The only real deal chocolate cakes to be found at Whole Foods was one with a big jack-o-lantern cookie on it and icing bats.  [non sequitur: while the customers at Whole Foods are in general, ass-hats, the staff are quite helpful and friendly.]
[non sequitur in photo format: this picture is funny, eh?]
So I says to the guy, "guy, can you ummm...un-Halloween this cake for me?" As in, take all that Halloween crap off the top and turn it into a birthday cake please?  And he, because he is a baker and has the most awesome job in the world, said, "sure thing sweet cheeks.  Come back in 5 minutes".  [quasi non sequitur: he didn't really call me sweet cheeks, but he seemed like the kind of guy who would, under different circumstances, like if he was a bartender and I just ordered a vodka tonic and told him to make it a double.]  I wandered around picking up an over-priced salad, some chicken ravioli, blueberry muffins, fresh bread, and then when I realized I was actually going to have to PAY for all this stuff, I figured I better stop putting overpriced-yet-oh-so-tasty items in my cart and go check on the cake.
He showed me the cake and I was all "dude, that's wicked!" and he was all "yeah, well, you know, I'm good like that".  I gingerly put the cake box in my cart and went to the cashier and paid, making some super lame joke about how I had offered to bring salad and a dessert and then totally not bothered to make either the salad or the dessert, and the cashier gave me this look that said "who are you kidding lady, this salad and cake are way better than anything you could ever make".  And I couldn't even be mad at her for thinking that because a) I have no proof and b) she's totally right.
[non sequitur in photo format #2: damn I love this kid.]
Max is currently high on sugar and rummaging in our kitchen for more sugar.  I think he might have beat Cameron out for the "god of cake" title.  [non sequitur: I'm painting a chalkboard on our kitchen wall while I wait for him to go to sleep.  It needs 3+ coats and each coat takes 30+ minutes to dry.  I have a feeling I'll get this project done before he conks out.]  Good night and good luck.


  1. Vanessa12:20 p.m.

    You might enjoy this:

  2. Vanessa12:23 p.m.

    ... whoops, you beat me to it! hahaha! Isn't that a great blog?