Thursday, October 14, 2010

if i were a bird.

yeah, I know, my poetry skillz could use some work.
I saw my hot doc on Tuesday. He’s still hot. He also has a terrific sense of humour because he is completely okay with me writing blog posts about him. I think he secretly likes the attention.

Lately my appointments have been longer and more often (and not just because he's good looking). With everything going on in my life, I am pretty tightly wound, and we agreed that it would be a good thing for me to checking in on a more regular basis. He looked at my skin (looking much better thanks to the magic potions he prescribed at my last visit) and we chatted about my meds. We have been working at finding the right balance for over 8 months and I think we finally have it. What a relief. It’s been a tough slog but I feel so much better than I did at the beginning of the year.

I think the trick to sorting it all out is that I am comfortable being candid with him about how I am feeling.  I told him yesterday that when I think of myself, I imagine a hummingbird.  Their wings move so fast they appear like they aren't moving at all.  I have been told that on the surface I look calm and collected.  I am always surprised that I manage to pull off looking composed, because on the inside, my brain is whirring a mile a minute and my heart is beating out of my chest.  Well, not always, but often enough that I ask myself if everyone feels this way or if is just me? 

I may be a hummingbird right now, but I aspire to be a swallow, soaring high in the sky.  What type of bird would you describe yourself as?

4 comments:

  1. Great post (and analogy). I'm with you...hummingbird. But a hummingbird on speed these days ;)

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  2. Probably an eagle or hawk - high above trying to see what's ahead, occasionally swooping in close to monitor what's going on at the moment!

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  3. Anonymous10:27 PM

    KB, you are a hummingbird in sexy black undies!

    mb

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  4. Anonymous11:46 AM

    One of my colleagues who is BC First Nations told me yesterday that the hummingbird is known to her people as messenger/life saver. Many many years ago, when floods came, and people could not travel to warn others of impending danger, the hummingbird went to the surrounding areas to warn them to go to higher ground, thus saving many lives. (mb)

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