Friday, October 22, 2010

been thinking...

This week has been a struggle for me (hard to believe I know, with all the quilting I should be feeling like a million bucks!).  The reality is that I feel myself starting to sink, and it's scary because I really don't have time to let my depression get the best of me.  Sure, there are many things I could feel sad and overwhelmed about, but there are so many more that are exciting and new that should have me on cloud 9.  I've been thinking that a mini-roadtrip is in order, and I'm tentatively planning to get away by myself in November if I can swing it. 

Change of subject - I get the most wonderful, supportive emails from my friends.  This past week my friend Becky (who I went to college with in Iowa) emailed me this:

been thinking...

as i drive from work each day to pick up my little girl, my perfect little angel of a 2-year-old, i dread trying to come up with yet more ways to entertain her. what will she want for dinner tonight? how many books will i have to read? will she let me go pee without being angry i won't let her sit in my lap?

and, i find myself thinking each day, in amongst the dread, of you, katrina. of your strength. of your courage. i mean, my daughter is perfect. she's as freaking perfect as any 2-year-old has ever been. she rarely complains; she's brilliant; she's beautiful. she's utterly perfect. and it's still so hard.

i honestly don't know how you can raise two children, let alone an adorable little boy like max. his autism is something that i don't know that i'd be able to handle, and i just wanted to tell you that i'm proud of you. you're showing the world your strength. you're showing all of us your determination driven by a mother's love. you have in you a drive that not only gets you through each day with the challenges of autism, but a drive that helps those of us who watch you do it.

so, thank you. for being the mom - hell, the woman - i'm not sure i'd have the strength to be. good job, kat. love you.


Thank you Becky.  I needed to hear that today.


  1. sweet. I know its addressed to you - but it really makes me feel good too :)

    I miss running - especially in this gorgeous solitude of fall - but am too pregnant to run right now.

  2. Damn it! That's two posts of yours that made me tear up (both in good ways, of course)! You have a great friend there. Listen to her!

    Now I'm off to take my own advice...