Can I have another piece of chocolate cake, Tammy Baker must be losing her faith.

There was cake today at work. Let me be more specific. There were 4 cakes today at work. 3 chocolate, 1 cheese cake. Why must the dieting gods taunt me so, and on the same day that my 'aunt' came to visit, 3 days early. I am very proud though, because despite the massive chips stacked against me, I persevered. It likely helps that last night we went to the gym, so it is currently CRYSTAL clear in my mind just how hard it is to burn 350 calories off, let alone 500. Also, tomorrow is my weigh-in day (I used to have it on Monday, but Monday is bad enough without adding the pressure of having to step onto a scale). I figure Thursday is a good day to check in because it keeps you in check and hopefully motivated for the weekend. We'll see about that I guess. Wish me luck...

If you haven't seen "Fat Actress" you must go watch it. It is written/filmed in a similar style to "Curb Your Enthusiasm" except it is way funnier. I love Kirstie Alley, she is a terrific comedic actress, the show is dark, hilarious, completely offside and a must see. I especially loved the opening scene where she is crawling along the floor of her bathroom, sobbing all the way. And the fact that since it is on Showtime they can say "fuck" all they want. Yeah for the word "fuck". I haven't been this excited about a new show in a while, so it's cool to have something to soak up the oozing pain that is this year's American Idol. That glorified Star Search is like a car wreck, and I am one of those stupid assholes who just has to slow down and rubber neck.

Step 3: Don't eat garbage.

I have been doing really well in the "don't eat garbage" department. But that isn't much of a challenge for me, as in recent years, I have been a very healthy eater. It really is the portion sizes that are the issue for me (I like feeling full). I will admit that it can be tough at work sometimes because there tends to be a lot of "garbage" around and sometimes the long hours force your hand ("what does everyone want for dinner? Pizza?"). I combat this with bringing a bevy of healthy snacks (apple, orange, banana, skim milk cheese stick, carrots, celery, slim fast peanut crunch bar, diet coke, lean cuisine) and that has helped me stay on track and save money to boot.

I am finding it a lot tougher to lose weight now that I am almost 30. My first week, I didn't lose anything (but that week was a bit of a write off with the "dial scale" that doesn't give clear readings, so maybe I did, and I just don't have any proof. Then I bought the fancy Weight Watchers scale, and that told me, quite clearly, that I am actually 1.5 lbs heavier than I had originally thought. So, it feels like instead of losing, I have actually gained, and I know this isn't true, but it sure feels like a kick in the face. Since I can't change it, I guess I have to accept it and try not to get discouraged. I know I will lose the extra weight, and it will be work, and it isn't fun, so I just have to focus on something else for now.

Funny thing: Scott is helping me in my endeavour by starting his own "health kick". He is very sweet. Also, I can't wait to watch Kirstie Alley's new "Fat Actress" show. I knew there was a reason we kept the movie network!

Step 1 | Step 2

All hail the Queen/The Bitch is Back.

If I were Martha Stewart, instead of waving graciously, I would have turned to the photographers and flipped them the bird. Because really, the people who are singing her praises now are the the same ass-hats who went out of their way over the past 2 years to talk smack about her, print ugly pictures of her, try her case in the court of public opinion, and smile smugly as she went to jail for 5 months. I hope she kept a list of people who have snubbed her, whether it be professionally or personally. Take them off the Christmas Card list, delete them from your palm pilot and suck your teeth at them when they show up and try to act like they didn't completely desert you and take quiet joy in your public humiliation. That's what I would do anyway. I have always liked Martha Stewart, and I didn't give a shit that she may or may not have done some insider trading (you think most rich folks out there haven't gotten a trading "tip" now and again?).

But Martha is a lady, and instead of giving the reporters the bird, she waved and smiled (and she looked damn good doing it too). She even made the paparazzi buzzing around her house hot chocolate. Way to rise above it and show them all that you will not get down and wrestle in the mud with them like the two-faced swine they are. Though it would have been funnier if she had gone all "Kill Bill" on her enemies [cue The Bride theme music]...maybe this niceness is all a ruse to get them comfortable so they'll let their guards down so she can poison them with yummy cupcakes...guess we'll have to wait and see.

18 more sleeps until the first day of spring.

To celebrate the coming of spring, Raye finally launched her blog "Rayeofsunshine". I had threatened to register the name for her, telling her I would post her emails on it and that would be that. She asked me not to, then life got busy, so I never did. Needless to say, I am very pleased that she is up and running, so go check her out. She is one of the smartest people I know and could put any movie reviewer (pack your bags Ebert) to shame, but I don't agree with her on her neverending praise for "Closer" (though I would fight her in an alley over Clive Owen).

Baby beluga in the deep blue sea.

I made it through hump day. Only two more days of driving in this shitty weather until I get to sleep in for a change. Oh joy, oh bliss. I meant to blog about this earlier (but I was too cranky and my boobs hurt - see previous blog) - I went to my friend Stephanie's baby-to-be-shower on Sunday. These pictures are not Stephanie's baby (she is due in April), they are pictures of Hannah (4 months old), who is my co-worker's best friend's daughter. I think she is just about the cutest thing ever.

Stephanie registered at Babies 'R Us, which if you have never been, is an insane place and completely overwhelming. I of course, left buying her gift until the last moment, and all of the cute, little, easy to wrap stuff was already gone, so I ended up buying her a baby bath, wicker laundry hamper, a crib mattress pad, and a rattle. Big ass objects that ate up all of my wrapping paper, but she seemed pleased with them, so it's all good. I have to admit, it was kind of a crazy experience. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled for Stephanie and her husband Shane. I think I am just a bit overwhelmed by the whole baby thing. The lowlight of the day was getting a drive from Oakville to Richmond Hill all the while freezing my ass off in the back seat because the driver had the window cranked down and was smoking wine tipped cigarettes (that smelled GREAT and didn't make me want to barf in her Mustang AT ALL). The highlight was seeing how happy Stephanie was and how big her belly is getting (also, she made out like a bandit!).

Do you know how much stuff you can buy for babies? It is crazy. It kind of makes me feel like I need to save up all my money for the next five years before I'll even feel like I can afford to have one. My mom reassured me that this is not so, that she and my dad were really broke when they had me and it all worked out just fine. My best friend Jennifer told me that anything you need for a baby you can buy at the drugstore on the way home from the hospital (they sell cribs at Shoppers Drugmart?). My other friend Jenn told me that she was at a baby shower last weekend, and the expecting mother's mother (who Scott says is a loud mouth) asked Jenn why she wasn't pregnant yet, and were her husband's sperm dead? That woman deserves a cockpunch in the worst way.

It really is an odd time in my life - I've got a bit of a career going, but my body is going nuts. It isn't so much like I feel like I am running out of time, it's more that every time I see a baby I get mushy, and when I see little kids my heart melts. I almost bought myself a "My Little Pony" today (what's up with that?) but instead I bought a fancy digital Weight Watcher's scale. I suppose my immediate goal of losing weight goes completely against the idea of having a baby, eh? Guess I'll sort it out one way or another (and no, I'm not pregnant, thank you very much).

My boobs hurt and I HATE this weather.

If you asked Scott, he would probably tell you that I have been one "grumpy Jenny" over the past week. Reasons for this you ask? Well, where do I start?

1. I am so tired of the cold and the grey and the snow. I need winter to be over and done with already. Just as I said this over the weekend, it was like the weather demon decided to play a cruel joke on me, and here we are with another 25cm.

2. I didn't lose any weight this week, and I was really good about tracking my food, drinking my water, and NOTHING. But we have one of those stupid dial scales, where you have to lose 2 pounds before you see the dial move. So, maybe I need to go get a digital scale so I can get some joy if I lose just a pound or something. Still, very frustrating. I should email Jaime for some moral support.

3. American Idol is kinda bad. I fell asleep last night while it was on (usually I am completely captivated by it). I should just stop watching until they get to the final 12, because this whole boy/girl thing sucks. I have to check in with Jennifer to see what she thinks.

4. The Oscars were pretty bad. The only real highlights for me were Chris Rock as MC and Jamie Fox's acceptance speech. I hated Beyonce muddling her way through THREE songs (though I thoroughly enjoyed the fact that Josh Grobin wouldn't even look at her during their "duet", and what the hell was with having Antonio Banderas and Santana performing together? I mean, I can accept Santana, but Antonio was brutal. Also, did anyone else notice that his wife Melanie Griffith has started the Goldie Hawn habit of wearing sunglasses all the time (guess the age is starting to show...) and also, her dress had this awful flesh tone fabric back that looked like geriatric support hose stretched from her shoulders to her ass crack. Unfortunate. I have nothing good to say about Star Jones, except that, she needs to go away yesterday.

5. My boobs (aka "stripper tits" a la Adrianne's blog) are KILLING me. This whole being off the pill thing sucks. I much prefer having all symptoms of PMS completely suppressed. Ugh. Being natural is highly overrated.

A love letter to Annie Parisse.

Scott and I were watching this week's Law & Order last night (he worked late on Wednesday so we taped it). As we watched it, we both agreed on two things - Dennis Farina dresses way too fancy for a detective (Gucci loafers?), and Annie Parisse is the best actress they have ever had in the ADA role. While she isn't as sexy as the young Claire, and she doesn't possess the cool/composed/quietly seething quality of Abbie, she challenges Jack and takes him on in a way that makes you understand that not only is she just as smart as him (if not smarter), one day, she will take his job. Yes, you heard it hear first folks. If and when Sam Waterson hangs up his tie and leaves Law & Order, our girl Alexandra could easily fill his shoes. Hopefully the website department will get off their asses sooner rather than later and erase that ugly smear (Serena's face) from the Law & Order homepage. I think we can all agree that is 3.5 seasons we don't need to remember, let alone see repeats of.

Happy 30th Birthday Drew.

I have always had a soft spot for Drew Barrymore. Ever since E.T. And I know she had a lot of problems growing up, but she seems to have done alright for herself. She tends to pick not-so-great-guys. But she has some good business sense in that pretty head of hers. I like that she can laugh at herself and is not afraid to look silly and unglamorous. I like that she is not always a rake and that she seems to fight the same 15 pounds I do (it makes her human). Hopefully she'll find the right guy and be happy. That's all you can really wish someone, to be happy. Funny, all the fame and money in the world, and I bet all she really wants is to find her one true love.

Step 2: Drink lots of water.

I drank my full 8 cups of water today. And not an ounce more. I have 2 nalgene bottles that I use. The ones in the picture are Jennifer's (she says you can't have too many - I don't have cool stickers like her). I stuck to only one cup of coffee, one diet coke, and I didn't cheat on my eating plan. Rock on! I am sore as a you know what from yesterday's visit to the gym though. My legs, my back...my abs (they are in there somewhere, I can feel them!). I weighed myself this morning and I would like to lose 14lbs by my 30th birthday, which is in 10 weeks. I think I can do it - I just can't screw around, I have to get to work. I want to feel like a million bucks on my 30th birthday, not like a bag of poo (current state). We are throwing a 30th birthday party for ourselves (Scott's bday is one week before mine). To reward myself for all of my hard work, I have promised myself a kickass outfit for the party (I'm talkin' head to toe, hat to shuz). Scott is being a good sport about the whole thing...I think he knows once I get my mind to something it's pretty much a done deal. He'll probably lose more weight than me (not like he needs to), that's how it always seems to work. I am only going to weigh myself once a week, so I'll post my status every Monday...it will keep me honest. Also, apparently eating healthy makes me angry...check out my post on Scott's Raptors site.

Step 1: Get off your dumper.

I feel like my body is falling apart on me (yesterday I bought pants that are a size bigger than I normally wear...bleh). And it isn't like I don't know how to get back on track. I might as well have a PhD in how to eat healthy, lost weight, and get in shape. Knowing and doing are two completely separate things. So, what do I know about how to get in shape and feel good?

It's a short list:
1. Exercise - 3 - 4 times a week (no more than that is necessary and you won't stick with it if you get super extreme)
2. Drink lots of water - 8 cups a day...no more than that is necessary - unless you are working out (and you won't stick to it if you get super extreme)
3. Don't sabotage yourself by eating garbage (you know what garbage is...it seems like a good idea before you eat it, then after you do, you feel like garbage)
4. Start every day with something healthy to eat - if you start off with something bad, the rest of the day will likely go down the toilet
5. Stay away from alcohol - they are empty calories, and the more you drink, the more you eat
6. Get enough sleep (ideally 8 hours a night, realistically 6.5 to 7)
7. Plan your meals for the week (or else you end up eating fast food every night and you stop pooping...not good)
8. Don't beat yourself up/stay positive - be nice to yourself (if you aren't, nobody else will be)
9. If you fall off the horse one day, get back on tomorrow, don't wait a week...or a month
10. Don't go it alone. Find someone who inspires you
11. Take it a day at a time, worry about tomorrow tomorrow
12. Eat until you are not hungry, not until you are full (Dolly Parton's secret for staying slim is that she leaves some food for the Angels) a little nutty, but the right idea

For today, so far I am doing well...heading to the gym momentarily, started the day with an orange, cutting back on the caffeine, menu is planned.

I'm full of shit? You're a monument of it.

What a week. And I'm not going to apologize for not blogging since Monday, because nobody cares and everybody knows that is lame. (See Tony Pierce's "How to Blog" #29 for my factual basis of this). But I will say, after billing 68 hours this week, I am one tired girl. And that's all I'm going to say about work.

But I have a totally let my shit slide.

Jennifer W. (of Jennifer and Dave) left messages on Monday and Tuesday about good news that she and Dave have. I am assuming that this means that he finally got off his dumper and proposed...but I have not been home to call her back, so I am an ass.

Jennifer Whiteford (of best friend in the world fame) has been having major stress as of late and I have a) not called her and b) not even commented on her blog, so I am an ass.

Scott has been left holding the bag for all meals this week (I now know what he would eat if I were not in his life and it isn't pretty). However, I do appreciate his taking up the gauntlet and making sure I get fed. He went and got us fish and chips tonight and we watched Collateral (great movie). We talked about asking for a day off in April before his birthday and our trip down to NY State. That made me happy.

I have to get back on my game and get my act together. Also, I am not going to work more thant 45 hours this week coming up, hell or high water. If you need a laugh check this out (especially Adrianne).

Bossa is not proud, but she is pretty.

Scott and I were chatting tonight about how our cats Bossa and Samba are the constants in our lives. No matter how the day goes, we can count on it starting and ending with Bossa demanding to be fed. I know that when I turn out the lights at night, Samba will pounce onto the bed and then settle in on top of me. In the middle of the night, if I wake up and look over at our dresser, Samba will be perched in front of the mirror gazing at me (creepy).

When we eat dinner, Bossa will always join us, completely disinterested (of course), but there, nonetheless.
On weekend mornings, when we crack the blinds to let the sun in, Bossa will lay in the sun, and move with it across the carpet as the morning progresses, and the sun dares to move.
Whenever male guests leave their lovely and new (to her) shoes by our front door, she will fully inspect them, and perhaps, make love to them.
In all the craziness of life, I can always count on my kitties to be my constant. Samba pics to follow shortly.

Some girls want candy and flowers.

I am not some girls. Not that I am one of those bandwagon "Valentine Haters" (when did it become so cool/hip/in to diss Valentine's Day?). Nope, I love Valentine's Day just as much as the next sucker. But, one might say, I am a bit unconventional. This year, I told Scott, you know what I would like for Valentine's Day? I would like a red Swingline stapler, a la "Office Space". I am so tired of those crappy $3 staplers at work that go bust after 20 staples. I want a good stapler. And every time I use it, I will remember how much you love me, and that you care enough to have me use only the best office supplies. Not only did I get the requested red 747 Swingline stapler, I got a matching staple remover and some high quality kick ass staples (apparently they make all the difference...who knew?). I am loved, yes, I am. Since tomorrow is going to be an unromantic workday, we exchanged gifts tonight (I gave Scott some Diesel cologne) and then we watched Law & Order with Chris Noth (he was totally bad ass) and we ate our Love Potion #31 ice cream. Very romantic. Then Scott went grocery shopping and I did the laundry. And the world kept on spinnin'.

They don't pay her enough $$ to open her mouth.

I love me some O.C. I mean, let's not kid. Pre-coffee, on Thursday morning, I rushed down to our family room, flipped on the TV, and set our Digital Cable box to record the O.C., even though I knew I would likely be home to watch it. I recorded it, in case, in the unlikely event, should ANYTHING, anything?, ANYTHING! stand between me and my show, all would be right with the world. It would all be good, because, it would be recorded.

I gotta tell you, I've been a little let down in the last 2 episodes. I know Fox is saving all of the good, juicy, meaty, stuff for sweeps week, but come on. Last week, you know that whole episode just sucked big doody. And this week, with the weeks of build-up for the whole girl on girl action, I expected something HOTT. But no, in the last scene, we got drunk Marissa and Alex kissing, and Marissa looked so unhappy, like, "Ooo, gross, I gotta kiss on this girl now and act like I'm really into her and curious? They don't pay me enough for this shit". And apparently they don't, because that was some dry-ass-totally-un-hott kiss. She didn't even open her mouth. I don't expect her to stick her tongue in Alex's barf hole or anything, but COME ON. A little saliva never hurt anyone! That was the unsexiest girl on girl kiss I have ever seen.

I meant to mention this earlier....but I went to highschool with the actress who played Jodie (Alex's previous girlfriend). Her name is Emmanuelle Chriqui and she was very nice in highschool - very down to earth, etc. Beautiful like crazy (in an unfair, natural kind of way). I changed highschools 3x in my four year journey through hell, and in my last year of high school, I went to the same high school that both Peter Gallagher (who plays an A-1 douchebag on the O.C.) and Margot Kidder (crazy like a fox...with rabies) went to. So, I guess there is like 0.5 degree of separation between me and the cast of O.C. Scott says I am a loser for even pointing that out. But we all know, he's just jealous (of Peter Gallagher's eyebrows).

Life is Good, Life is Grand.

I can't even begin to describe the excitement and happiness I felt when I saw that Chris Noth will be returning to Law & Order for a guest spot AND then for a full-time role alternating with Vincent D. on Mr. Ridiculous (aka "Criminal Intent"). This raises a very serious issue though - what will we call "Mr. Ridiculous" now? He'll be returning as his old character Mike Logan, so I guess we know what to expect - but the potential explosive interaction between Mr. Ridiculous and Mr. Big, it is palpable. I guess the Danier ads weren't footin' the lifestyle our Chris Noth has become accustomed to. I'll take some Chris Noth with a side of mashed potatoes any day (HELLO!).

Kat hearts ice cream.

Super Bowl was a blast. Small crowd, but a good crowd. Great food, lots of 'pops' and a few funny commercials. Game, so-so. Half-time show? Dunno, I was busy spinning in John Lennon's grave.

The next big thing: Valentine's Day. Scott is trying to break me of the habit of wanting (needing) to celebrate our love on a card company specified/sanctioned day of the year. I am doing my best. Really. Though I did get him a card. And I asked him for a very special, personal (and useful!) gift (no, not lingerie). And not chocolate. Flowers would be nice, but that is true on any day. I'm going to keep it a surprise and we'll see if he comes through or not. Note to ice cream lovers everywhere! If you haven't gotten your own personal supply of Baskin Robbin's Love Potion #31 you must run (not walk) to your nearest Baskin Robbin's and buy yourself a tub. It only comes out once a year, and it is THE BEST ice cream EVAH. Scott even agrees, and he hates Valentine's Day. It is described as "raspberry ice cream with white chocoate ice cream swirled together with raspberry puree ribbon and chocolate chunks & heart shaped raspberry filled chocolate cups...yumm x 10 (even though it makes my stomach hurt and makes me somewhat gassey).

Super Bowl Blog #4.

One of the unfortunate realities of living in what I believe to be the palest (whitest) suburb of Toronto, is that when you are looking for ingredients that are even vaguely "ethnic" you will likely be out of luck. We often joke in our home "Oh, that's spicy, what is that, tomato?". Yesterday we searched and searched and searched some more for tomatillos and fresh coriander. No luck. Not even at Loblaws (the centre of the universe for all screaming children). So unless I want to haul my ass down to the T.dot to get these ingredients, there will be no awesome guacamole. There will be a milder, paler version of it, but not what I had hoped for. Such is life. 2 beers into the game, nobody will care. Confirmed are Cathy, Alex, Shane, and Stephanie. Maybes include Jen and Brad. We have rearranged our family room for the event, the new toilet is fully installed and functioning, we have completed the beer run, the munchie run, the booze run. Cleaning will commence soon. We are ready. Go Philly! I always love the underdog.

Super Bowl Blog #3.

Scott and I had a lengthy conversation about Boobiegate after last year's Super Bowl Titty Extravaganza. Up until today, I was under the impression that Miss Janet's nipple was in fact fully covered by a sunshine pasty, and that no nipple was actually shown. With that in mind, I made the argument: No Nipple = No Boob. I even sang the song "No Woman, No Cry" replacing the aforementioned words with "No Nipple, No Boob". I was a believer. I should have done more research. Clearly, CLEARLY, Janet's nipple was fully exposed. I am offended and scandalized. How could America let me down like that? Just kidding. I don't care, I just think it is kind of funny is all. Her boob looks kind of sad like "hey, damn girl, put me back!" And to quote one of my favourite comedians, Chris Rock, "You can't just whip out a 40-year-old titty!". Scott suggested that I shouldn't put a picture of Janet's bared breast up on my blog because it isn't "work safe", but, well, it's my blog, and it's just a breast. Ain't nothing to look at here folks, keep moving. And enjoy, because the Super Bowl entertainment this year is going to family rated, Walt Disney approved fodder for the masses (except for the barely dressed cheerleaders and women kissing women in beer commericials - they're ok!). Eat up America!

Super Bowl Blog #2.

Cathy is now unconfirmed for Sunday. More guacamole for the rest of us. Home Depot came and brought me a new toilet tank today and took away the old one. I am too sick to inspect it to make sure it is okay. It will have to be.

Domestic Goddess, who has provided me with many a recipe upon request, has expressed interest in my guacamole recipe (and she asked nicely). Unfortunately, I cannot take credit for this recipe, it belongs to one of my xbi coworkers who used to run her own Mexican restaurant in the Beaches (so it's legit).

Tomatillo sauce for Guacamole
Ingredients:
1 large can Tomatillos (green tomatoes) - drained (available at No Frills and Loblaws)
2 Spanish Onions - chopped
2 Cerrano peppers - chopped
5 Garlic cloves - chopped
1/2 bunch of Coriander - chopped
Salt - 1 teaspoon
Olive oil - 2 tablespoons
1//2 cup water

Directions:
Add olive oil to frying pan, chopped onion and sauté until softened. Then, add garlic, cerrano peppers and drained tomatillos, salt and coriander. Sauté until softened - approx. 10 minutes. Add water and put all cooked ingredients into blender. Pulse blend for 5-10 seconds.

Guacamole
Add one large tablespoon of cooked tomatillos sauce to one avocado. Mix well and add salt to taste.

Super Bowl Blog #1.

Day 4 of the toilet saga and still no working toilet. I am tired of blogging about toilets, and I am sick, so this will be short. I bring you, Blog #1 of Super Bowl 2005.

Scott and I are having a Super Bowl party on Sunday. Well, party may be stretching it - let's call it a get-together. For me, Super Bowl is mostly about the food, the drinks, and the commercials. I expect the halftime show is going to be some terrible piece of crap as per usual (JJ's titty was the best thing to happen to the halftime in a long time and we won't be seeing any of that this year). I believe Cathy and Alex are confirmed as well as Stephanie and Shane. Some tentatives as well, but they don't have blogs so they aren't worth mentioning.

Anyway, I already have the avocados for the guacamole (I have a killer legit recipe that puts anything you currently make to shame). I will post the recipe...if you ask nicely. Other Super Bowl food staples include wings (2 kinds - sticky and spicy), nachos, chips and dip, pizza, and an assortment of "sweets". Super Bowl is actually a very low maintenance event - which I love. No complexity here, just gotta manage the oven time (keep the food hot and coming). I asked a friend whether a veggie platter was really needed, and after about a second of thought, she said "No, who are you kidding?". So, this will be a vegetable free event (avocados....are they considered to be fruit? They grow on trees....).

John, here's the bottom the line.

This morning I loaded up the cracked toilet tank into the trunk of my car. Actually, loaded would be a kind word. Threw might be more accurate. And as I drove to work, all I could hear from the trunk of my car was CLANK CLANGITY CLANG CLUNK CLICK - Barba Trick. The porcelain lid banging into the porcelain tank. Good times. And as I drove home, all I could from the trunk of my car was...CLANK...you get the picture, right? Not being able to stand it any longer, I stopped at the now very familiar Home Depot to exchange the cracked tank. I loaded it into a cart and unceremoniously shoved it through the doors and up to the returns counter. No help lifting it, no help getting another one. So off I went to the toilet section, where I hoisted another tank off the shelf (which was almost higher than me) and managed to delicately wrestle this new tank to the floor. I ripped open the box and hauled out the tank, inspecting its interior and bottom carefully for cracks. Satisfied that it was fully intact, I placed it back in the box, up into the cart and after encouraging the other customers in the toilet section to fully tear open any potential purchases for full inspection, I went back to the returns counter. There, the returns woman told me I would have to leave the box, to which I said "No, I'm going to be taking that home with me". And off I went. Not ten minutes in my front door, I have taken the new uncracked tank out of the box, and prepared myself to finish what I started.

But wait. It can't be. There is a scratch on the front of the tank...of my $400+ toilet. This is somewhat unsatisfactory. After all I have been through to install this fucking toilet, I will not tolerate anything less than toilet perfection. So, 3 trips to Home Depot already invested, I called Home Depot and asked for John the manager. I told him my tale of woe. He suggested that if it was only a scratch what was the big deal. I suggested that the $400 toilet part was the big deal. And then told him that since I'd already had my time completely wasted with this awful home improvement project mainly due to the sub par inventory in his store I would not waste a second more of his time and I would get to the point. I said "John, here's the bottom the line. This is what I want to see happen. I will leave the tank on my porch tomorrow when I go to work. And I want someone from your store to bring me an uncracked, unscratched tank and when they deliver it, they can take the old one back to the store with them. Because I am a damn good customer, and I spend a significant amount of money at your store". So he took down my address and the SKU # of the shitter, and he said he would get a new one to me tomorrow. We'll just have to wait and see if it actually happens...the saga of the toilet continues. Scott and his 27 golf balls are waiting to be put to the test.

Remember, my sweet, even though I'm a miserable bastard sometimes...

Friday night: Driving home from work, I was so tired I was seeing double. I felt like I was going to drive off the road. I think I slept through the Raptors game. Scott went out to play Poker (his new drug) and I watched my HDTV recorded shows (my new drug).

Saturday: In-laws came over for dinner. We totally overextended ourselves on the meal and ended up having a "disagreement" in the kitchen. GREAT! I love airing my dirty laundry. That is lie. Highlights include Scott spilling water all over the gas range, extinguishing 2 of 4 elements I needed to prepare the meal and me refrigerating the red wine. Meal turned out well, but lesson learned - only one part of the meal can be time-consuming/challenging/vaguely gourmet - NOT BOTH! I will blog about the recipes later - they are excellent, but should only be made individually.

Sunday: Purchased new "Champion" water saving toilet from Home Depot. Apparently this thing can flush 27 golf balls. So, you know Scott had to have it. Our downstairs bathroom has been out of commission for a month (we have 3 more bathrooms that work). Since we are having a Superbowl party next weekend, we needed to get this thing up and running. Well, almost. This badboy is higher up than the last one, so I need to go BACK to Home Depot and get a longer hose. I love going BACK to Home Depot. Really. So, on the way home tonight I will run said errand, in hopes that when I hook up the hose, all will be well and the bowl will not leak (like last time...). Long, watery, shitty story. (Update - turns out, same shitty story, the tank leaks so we get to go back to Home Depot for a 3rd time to get a new tank...FUN!)

Monday: Quote of the day (from Scott) - "Remember, my sweet, even though I'm a miserable bastard sometimes, I'm a miserable bastard who will hit "Refresh" for 5 minutes so that he can get you second-row Cho tickets." Which reminds me, Scott and I are going on a double date to see Margaret Cho with two of my xbi coworkers. One of them claims to be a bigger fan than us. We'll see about that!

Schmoo & Butterbean need a home.

Whenever I am feeling sad, or cranky, or like I could just use some cheering up, I pop over to the Annex Cat Rescue website and I check out their adoptions page. We got Samba from the Annex Cat Rescue. Well, more like "I" got Samba from the Annex Cat Rescue. Her name was Sybil when I got her, and she had this double inhale/exhale purr that could melt your heart. I guess Scott didn't realize how serious I was about getting another kitty, because when he got home that night, and found this grey smudge hiding in the bathroom (behind the toilet), well, he was a bit surprised. She quickly won him over (he taught her how to box her own tail and fart at the same time) and now she sleeps on top of him every night. Despite his cat allergies, he even loves her more than I do. We are trying to talk Scott's folks into getting a cat sooner rather than later. I think they would love having a cat - low maintenance, no walks, and they poop in a box for goodness' sake. Anyway, if you live in the GTA, and you are thinking about getting a cat, check out the Annex Cat Rescue. Their animals aren't caged, they can actually tell you about the personality of the cat to make sure it is a match with you and they do really great work. They have even more cats than they show on their website (everthing from kittens to grown up kitties). I would adopt Schmoo & Butterbean myself, but Scott tells me having more than 2 cats would qualify me for the crazy cat lady awards...so two will have to suffice.

I feel better now. Thanks Annex Cat Rescue.

Celebrate the love of the one you're with.

How did we not know all along that George Michael is gay? Were the Wham days of shaved tan legs in white short shorts not enough? Just a thought...god bless the 80's, eh? Anyway, I heard his song "Amazing" again on the radio this morning. And it made me happy, even in rush hour traffic, I was seat dancing. Don't ask [it is a vision]. I may go buy his cd, I like it that much. Shut up in advance.

Good news - I wrote my exam and I believe [perhaps foolishly] that it went well. We'll see. But at least it is over. No more late Wednesday nights, no more studying, no more structured self-improvement. For a while anyway.

Last night, Solitaire and I were messaging back and forth and she was making me avatars from the yahoo avatar site. Scott asked me if I was twelve, which of course, I am. I am easily entertained. She wrote a sweet blog about us today.

Here is my looking vexed at Scott when he told me about his new Timbaland boots. I figure I should go get myself something as a reward for finishing my nightschool class and even the balance of spending. Any suggestions?

Gin & Ginger Prawns

I have been asked several times now for this recipe, so here you go! Hopefully the Domestic Goddess will come by and add a little zest to it or something.

Ingredients:
20 - 24 medium prawns, shelled, deveined, de-tailed
2 tbsp budduh
1/4 cup green onions, sliced
2 - 3 tbsp pickled ginger
3 tbsp gin

Directions:
1. Heat budduh until melted. Add green onions, ginger and gin. Add prawns and saute until pink.
2. Have a swig of gin, right from the bottle.
3. Sing "Sippin' on gin and juice, laid back, with my mind on my money and my money on my mind".
4. Serve with jasmine rice.

Serves 2.

Up in the himalayas, C’mon I wanna lay ya.

I'm sure you've heard about Ricky Martin's "fact finding mission" to Thailand to report on the tsunami disaster. I'm not making this up - he actually said:

"The destructive effects caused by this natural phenomenon are indescribable and the consequences for the future are difficult to predict."

So, uh, what are you saying there Ricky? Doesn't sound very grounded in fact, whatever it is you are trying to articulate. Maybe you should just shake your bon-bon and leave the rescue missions to the experts? Check out the clip from Oprah's site (try not to get distracted by the Walt Disney ad floating down the middle of the page [smirk]. And NO - Walt Disney will NOT be donating any portion of your trip to the tsunami effort - they just figure if you have the money to donate to a worthy cause, you probably have some left over for uncle Walt.

Then we could be Heroes, just for one day.

I have just confirmed that I have yet another finely honed skill: Procrastination. Yes, I have cornered the market on Procrastination. And it isn't just the ability to put off the dreaded task (which happens to be studying for my Direct Marketing exam this coming Wednesday) it is my ability to justify the things I am putting ahead of studying. For instance, getting my hair done, trying a new ginger-gin shrimp recipe, helping Scott make mashed potatoes with his new potato ricer, shovelling my driveway, washing dishes (by hand no less!), making myself some tea, making Scott and myself salmon sandwiches, sorting the laundry, and writing a blog about the very thing I should be doing, but am not.

Did I mention that Scott and I watched Hero last night on PPV? I know, we are late adopters. Seems like EVERYONE has seen this already, including my Mom. She liked it better than Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, I did not. Scott liked it, but was ready for it be done by the end. Scott and I sat and read the credits, amazed at some of the short, punctuated names, and wondered to ourselves how many millions of people are probably named "Li Lei" alone. I fantasized about getting a framed print of the scene where Flying Snow and Moon are fighting in the yellow trees, their red robes swirling around them. Stunning cinematography. I kind of wonder about how the story was positioned (seemed like we were supposed to root for the bad guy/Emperor instead of the good guy/Nameless assassin. Margaret Cho recommends House of the Flying Daggers on her blog - so I'll have to check that out when it finally makes its way to North America. Sounds like Zhang Ziyi kicks some serious butt in this one.

This land doesn't know a real hero. Yet. But I really do need to study. Now.

Damnit I EARNED this weekend.

There's something really great about pulling up in my driveway on a Friday night. Especially when I have my cute husband by my side, HOT fish and chips ready to consume, and a nice bottle of shiraz waiting for me. It's like a world, or a least a few days, of rest lay before me. And if I haven't been too much of a dumbass, I have not planned very much outside of watching some football and taped tv shows, sleeping in, and maybe getting my hair done. This weekend I also have some studying to do, but I will not let that get me down. We are supposed to have a snowstorm tomorrow, but I don't even care, because I don't HAVE to go anywhere. The worst that will happen is I will miss my hair appointment, I can handle that. I made it through a week which started with finding out Ian is going to have a quadruple bypass and ended with getting a stack of plates dumped on my head and sour cream in my hair by a waitress at Shoeless Joe's in Toronto [yuck]. Good times. Today it was so cold that my eyeballs froze and then watered mascara EVERYWHERE [both a hott and professional look]. But next week I will be done my night school course and I will have my Wednesday nights back. TGIF Bitchez!

I am often ungrateful and clueless.

The older I get, the more I learn. Like, get a clue, get a perspective, figure out what's important. And don't take stuff for granted. I often joke about how when you feel good, you don't appreciate the fact that you can breathe out your nose. But when you can't breathe out your nose, boy do you wish you had appreciated those good "breathin' out your nose days". Seems dumb now, when I think about how someone who is really the father I never had, but am lucky enough now to get to have, is in the hospital, waiting to have his ticker fixed. My mom's husband Ian (aka "my folks"), the main father figure in my life, is having some major surgery next week. I'm not going to kid you, I'm pretty stressed out. When my mom told me about the surgery this morning, I kind of felt like I was going to be sick. I pretty much kept it together at work, though I told my boss if my mom says she needs me, I'm getting on a plane. It seems like she has a lot of support though, so she probably won't ask. But if she does, I will go. Ian has the energy of a twenty year old. He puts both Scott and me to shame - seriously, this man is a machine. So it is hard to imagine that he is in the hospital, hooked up to a bunch of machines. I called one of his best friends (Terry) to tell him, and Terry was all, "Oh, that's no big deal - he'll feel great once he is recovered - better than new". So I'm going to go with that perspective - seems the most optimistic and upbeat. Anyway, I usually post about lighter stuff, but I'm not really in the mood today. Take a look around you and appreciate the people you love.

This is our wedding party (left to right) - Jen, Christine, Jennifer, (me and Scott), Chris, Jeff, and Shane. Scott's parents are in the far right corner. We are blessed, and we know it.

Tonight I'm gonna give you all my love, in the "backseat".

I am seriously confused. You see, as an avid watcher of the O.C., it was clear to me in season one, that Summer and Seth had "the sex". Several times, as I recall. And even though it clearly wasn't very good, they had sex, at least twice. Yet, on this week's show, she was lamenting to Coop her fear that Seth had beaten her to it, "it" being, losing his virginity.

Huh?

Did the O.C. fire all of their writers from last season? Hey guys: THEY ALREADY DID IT! Season one - Episode 19! Go watch it. You don't get to un-lose your virginity, it doesn't work that way. You lose it, usually to some guy who you think you love, but in retrospect was kind of an asshole, and not nearly as cool as you thought... example: Seth Cohen. You can't just erase that whole event, to lose it again to your smart, cute, water-polo playing boyfriend. Trust me, I would have done it if those were the rules.

So, for the record, Seth, Summer, Coop, and Ryan are not virgins. Jury is out on Lindsay (though I think she is a virgin), and we are led to believe (so far) that Alex is "experienced" (she likes to party). I'm not sure what they are smoking over at Fox, but they need to get their story lines straight.

You're that kind that turns my head and makes me look...

...whoa whoa whoa uh uh uh uh. According to ticketmaster.ca:

You purchased 2 tickets to:
Jill Scott
Massey Hall, Toronto, ON
Wednesday March 16, 2005 8:00 pm

I set my alarm to make sure I didn't forget to buy these tickets the very moment they went on sale today at noon. And even then I only got seats in the balcony, row G, on the far right side. Our girl Jill has come a long way since Scott and I saw her in August 2001 at the Molson Amphitheatre (just days after Aaliyah died). Her live album that came out that November was actually recorded off of that very tour, though I believe they used the Washington, DC show for the actual album.
I don't often get excited about going to live shows, but Jill Scott in concert is somethin' else. I truly believe that she is the best soul/R&B/jazz/whatever-you-want-to-call-it singer of our time. She sings (not lip-syncs) all of her songs, but new arrangements of them that make you hear it in a different way altogether. No album-regurgitation here. Nope. And her band, (called "Fat Back Taffy") her band is just phenomenal. I am not a fan of Massey Hall, but it is probably a better venue than the ACC, and I should just be happy she isn't playing Kool Haus again like she did in August.

Is this because I'm a lesbian?

Goodbye Elisabeth Röhm. Don't let the door hit ya, where the good Lord split ya. I have been waiting for you to leave L&O since your terrible-no-skillz-couldn't-act-yer-way-out-of-a-paper-bag-(German)-skinny-ass first appeared on my favourite show. While I was kind of hoping you would get shot in the face, I suppose a good ol' natured "You are fired" will also suffice. I have yelled many nasty things at you via my television set. And this whole time, you were a lesbian. Had I known, I would have been much nicer to you. That is a lie. And you know what? Clearly, Dick Wolf didn't even like you, because he couldn't even be bothered to spell your name right on the nbc.com website. He didn't use the "oomlaut" [sp] over your "o". See, I am legit (actually, Scott sorted it out for me...). And for Adrianne (ever fond of "dick" jokes) - you know what they say about Dick Wolf...

Also, what's with the "Is this because I'm a lesbian" dialogue? We made it 3.5 seasons without needing to know that little tidbit about you. Talk about some useless scripting. Not only did Dick not like you, the writers must have HATED you!


Anyway, let's welcome to the new, improved (couldn't be worse) Assistant District Attorney "Dunnow Whathernameisyet". You couldn't possibly be hated more than your predecessor, or as hott as Claire (who, for the record, was not a lesbian...she was f'n her boss, Jack, and she died). If you can look half as pissy as Abbie I will really like you. And Elisabeth, good luck with your "movie career". Check in with Angie Harmon-SeaHORN to see how that's workin' out for her. If she can't do it, you certainly won't either. And for goodness sake, go eat a sandwhich. You and Jennifer Aniston both.

What's so special about Jennifer Aniston anyway?

And don't say "Friends" because we all know that show got lamer every year it was on the air. Scott said "The Good Girl" and then there is also "Office Space" too. But so what? How did she top the Forbes list of Hollywood's 100 Most Powerful People? She married Brad Pitt, that's how. And now it is all over. My heart bleeds, really. Their relationship started when their agents set them up on a date. Those who cared were lead to believe (by their tireless PR reps) that their relationship was all warm-fuzzy-happiness+sunkissed-perfection, but just like most things that look all shiny and glossy and untouchable, they were a big fake. A lie. A Sham. Whatev. I am sure they will both move on to other suitable "A" list actors. Maybe Brad will explore his wild side with a certain Angelina Joli. Maybe Jennifer will explore her wild side with Angelina Joli as well (hey, a little lesbianism has been known to help one's career!).
On a happier, equally less than sincere note, congrats to Seal and Heidi Klum. Damn. Good for him. GOOD FOR HER! I have had the pleasure of seeing Seal live in concert and never have I seen a finer ass in leather pants.Other well wishes to Jude Law and Sienna Miller...he barely let the ink dry on his divorce papers and she's 23 - not sure that bodes well for them, but stranger matches have worked, so they might as well give it a try.

Green Minivan Drivin' Muther F'ers.

If you drive a GREEN minivan, you are a mother fucker. This is the ultimate sin. If you drive a green minivan, you a Superior-Extraordinary-Class-*A*-Mother-Fucker! Seriously, check your warranty, it sez so right there. Don't you feel special?

And for all you non-drivers or normal-size-car-driving-people, just watch. Seriously. For the next month, I challenge you to prove me wrong. Watch those minivan drivers, especially the GREEN ones. I find it interesting that neither Ford or GMC are even making them in green anymore...must be because they realize they will be attracting even more motherfuckers than normal (bad enough having customers who are stupid enough to purchase American vehicles).

And to that GREEN MINIVAN DRIVING MOTHER FUCKER that cut me off only to drive 80km (IN A 110KM) I say, "FUCK YOU, GO HAVE SOME MORE KIDZ!". ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. And to that other GREEN MINIVAN DRIVING MOTHER FUCKER who needed to pull wide right in the lane, and sit there forever, only to put on his left turn signal to TURN INTO HIS DRIVEWAY and then wait to turn because he saw a little blip of light in the distance and needed to wait until it passed...45 SECONDS LATER - FUCK YOU TOO! Go have some more kids why dontca. Asshole. (I bet he owns 2 green minivans.)

Seriously folks, it's a good thing I love my sensible grey 2001 Camry, else I'd ram it right up someone's green minivan drivin' ass.

Saturday Night: The Longest, Coldest Night of Kat's Life.

I am guessing that Scott has never been good at sharing. The ongoing saga of "Scott the Cover Hog" continues, with the latest instalment called "Saturday Night: The Longest, Coldest Night of Kat's Life". In this chapter, Scott steals all of the covers (impressive as this includes a sheet, a duvet, and a quilt!) an average of two times an hour, commencing at 1am and continuing until 11am. Each time when the beautiful Kat is rudely and coldly awaken, she tugs on the covers, using her full weight to roll them back over Scott to recover her fair share. The nasty Scott waits stealthily for her to fall back asleep before he cruelly yanks them off her leaving her unprotected in the darkened night. When she awakes and tries an alternate tactic of moving into the middle of the bed (bringing herself to the covers, instead of the covers to her) he loudly complains "Hey, move over, you're crowding me!". And that my faithful readers, is why Scott is commonly referred to as "Scotty McFUCKER"! I bet Jon Stewart doesn't hog the covers...

Edited to add: Scott wanted me to point out that he doesn't hog the covers intentionally, that he does this in his sleep and doesn't mean to do it and would stop if he could.

We have to stop meeting like this.

In my dreams, that is.

Jon Stewart and I had a lovely series of encounters on Thursday night/Friday morning (sometime between the hours of 11:30pm and 6:30am when I was rudely awaken by the sound of my husband's alarm clock). I told Scott (my husband) of said encounters over pizza and a Raptors game last night. He didn't seem to mind (apparently it's okay for me to tell him about my sexy dreams if they a) involve him or b) involve celebrities who I will never meet). Note, he would prefer to never hear about sexy dreams that c) involve anyone we actually know. Fortunately, my subconscious shoots a little higher on the food chain than his Burlington friends (no offence to them) preferring incredibly sexy, intelligent, successful, slightly nerdy men. Hmmm...probably should seek a professional opinion on this and see if I have some sort of a weird fetish here. Regardless, I am pleased to tell you that Jon was very charming, shorter than I imagined, just as witty as you would think, and a REALLY GOOD KISSER. Also, he cooks a mean brisket. I'm not sure when we will meet again, but I hope it is soon as I thoroughly enjoyed our time together and he promised to...well, that's private and between me and him, but you get the idea [wink wink]. I guess I should stop suggesting to Scott that we go to NYC to see a taping of the Daily Show. He might get suspicious...

The Best Revenge Really is Success.

I was reminded today that the best revenge really is success. I received an email from a spy at my old company (someone who nobody thinks is my friend, so they tell her stuff they shouldn't...). Turns out, they aren't happy for me (even when one of them emailed me a "Happy New Years!" message asking how I am to try to dig up dirt!). Whatev. Long story short is that this is a SMALL FUCKING TOWN, YO! It didn't take long for the info about my new wicked job at the xbi to get back to them and it turns out they are still the small minded, talentless assholes that I left behind. Imagine that. I really think that what goes around comes around and that often the biggest punishment that exists is that someone gets to live the rest of their weasley little life being themselves. That's right - you get to live every single day of your pathetic, meaningless, loser life being YOU! And your player husband is a salesman and he's probably cheating on your ugly ass and if I cared I'd feel bad for your unborn child.

Do you think someone is an asshole and deserves to be told off? DO IT! Then don't look back. Onwards and upwards bitchez!

Scotty G, west side.

I just got an email from the other other Scott. Scott G from California, to be specific. He is my stepbrother's stepbrother (figure that one out!), and I have known him since we were both in the single digits. Don't tell anyone, but I once had a little crush on him, and because there is no blood relation, and I was silly and young and in college, it doesn't count and it is not even remotely incestuous. To show him how much I liked him I went and made out with one of his friends. Gotta love the maturity of a college girl, eh? Anyway, he sends me these silly emails from time to time that make me laugh out loud. He calls me things like dingleberry and chucklehead and because of that I am posting a picture of us from this past Halloween at our mutual stepbrother David and his crazy wife Haschmo's party in Ithaca.

His drawn out divorce from whatshernameitdoesntmatter is going to be final on the 22nd and he is going to be laid off on the 31st and he might come visit us. We will have a big party because he is finally FREE in so many ways and he can start a new adventure and do ANYTHING he wants. So, yes, ladies, he's a cutie with a great sense of humour, he is super nice, he plays hockey and he could be a Calvin Klein underwear model (though you'd never guess it from that picture). But I think he is going to pick up and move to the other side of the world to go teach English to some lucky non-English speaking girls. Anyway, he is a righteous dude and a standup guy and I am so happy we have kept in touch over the years (he even travelled from California to be at our wedding). Don't feel bad for him about the job thing either, he is so much better off, he really is a LUCKY BASTARD! 2005 is Scotty G's year - you heard it here first.

2004:Year in Review.

After a very sober new year's eve (I made Scott a deal where if he went out and got me Thai food for dinner I would be the designated driver) I was very pleased to wake up sans hangover on the 1st. Funny, that non-hangover feeling - it is so much better than that "I need to lay on the couch all day and watch golf" feeling. We went to Jeff and Korrie's house and hung out with Dave and Jen, Fatz and Matt, Mike and Melissa, and Matt the hottie Fireman. As it appears that many of my blogging friends have done 2004 recaps, I must jump on the bandwagon as well.

2004 - The good things:

Scott and I got married and it was beautiful
Just 2 months short of our 6th anniversary we tied the knot in front of friends and family. It was an amazing day and I am glad we stuck to our plans and our guns - we had a lot of fun. We learned a lot about who our friends are, and who love us and how blessed we are.

Scott and I went to Jamaica
Our first trip together to somewhere sunny and sandy. Cut short by Hurricane Ivan, but we got home safe, so it's all good! We are hoping to celebrate our anniversary with another trip this year.

I got to go to BC and my mom came here twice (3 visits in 2004!)
With the bridal shower and the wedding, my mom was able to come out to Onterrible two times, Ian came once, and I got to go out west for a week as well. That is better than most years for sure!

I stopped speaking to someone who causes me nothing but pain
I finally broke free from a person that has been really shitty to me for a long time and it feels good, in fact, it feels better every day. I have to support of my friends, and also the family members that I care most about. To those who don't understand, that is their problem - not mine.

I got a new and better job
One of the best Christmas presents for us was me getting a new job in December (who knew it could be done). So far so good - the people are a lot smarter, more professional and creative than the last place I worked at. It's nice to look forward to where I'm going every morning.

We got a new (to us) car
After the devil car (see bad things list) died and left us stranded in New York State, we bought a 2001 Toyota Camry and it is a wonderful wonderful car. I love it for all of its plain-unfanciness and safe-smooth riden' ways. I will never, ever, if my life depends in (couldn't get me to take one for free) by an American car again. Japanese for life.

2004 - The bad things:

Our furnace died
We were hoping to make it through last winter without replacing the furnace, but no, the creaky old thing conked out at the end of February (meaning we got none of the benefit of replacing it that year as spring was almost upon us). We learned the value of getting 3 quotes and now know more about furnaces than we ever need to. Owning a home can be very rewarding, but also very stressful at times.

Our car died
Our '98 Intrigue bit the big one in Tonawanda. And no, contrary to popular belief, it was NOT BECAUSE WE DIDN'T CHANGE THE OIL!!! Do we look stupid? It died because it was a lemon, a big honky piece of shit American car. Turned out okay as we got a much better car (see list of good things).

I lost my job
Turned out to be a good thing (see "I got a new and better job") but it totally sucked because I got laid off two weeks after our honeymoon by a backstabbing bitch who thinks she is the queen of marketing but who's skills are so out-dated she couldn't run a successful campaign to save her backwoods ass if her hick life depended on it. But I believe in karma, boy do I ever.

I have been very inconsistent with exercising
My self-esteem is very much tied up in my weight and I have been very inconsistent with working out. This is bad because exercising is good and I need to do it more as it makes me feel better in so many ways.

I only visited Jennifer in Ottawa once.
I went to Ottawa in the spring to visit Jennifer and help her pick her maid of honour dress. I intended to visit Jennifer this summer before the wedding, but I was so stressed out I didn't make it. I had a trip planned for November but our piece of shit car died and we were in the process of buying a new one so we didn't make it. Jennifer came to Toronto about a million times, so I feel very badly about this.

And what will 2005 bring? Hopefully more good than bad. There is always some bad, or else you wouldn't appreciate the good, right? I don't want to make any predictions or goals except to say that I would like to clear the clutter out of my life - that includes emotional clutter, material clutter, and just all encompassing CLUTTER. Be gone.